Being an outsider is not a bad thing like most people would want you to believe. Our society has been dictating and advocating a lot of the wrong things for centuries. So, if you feel like an outsider, be proud of that and own it. Love yourself enough to know that sometimes, it’s okay to be different than the rest of the herd.
An outsider is a person who quite simply does not fit in with existence-as-we-know-it.
Such a person is a fringe dweller, a dropout of humanity, a social oddball, and an alien endlessly coexisting in a society that doesn’t feel like home. On this website, we refer to the outsider as the “lone wolf” who walks through life with a feeling of inner disconnection from the wider “norms” of society. This bone-deep isolation often gives birth to the search for freedom, acceptance, and a true place to call home.
There’s a reason why you feel this way, and it’s not because there is something defective or “wrong” with you. In fact, despite what you may feel about yourself, others, and the world, being an outsider looking in is actually a huge advantage. I’ll explain to you why.
Why Do I Feel Like An Outsider Looking In?
“Why do I feel like an outsider looking in?” – I’ve asked myself this question ever since I was about 6 years old.
For me, the sensation of being an outsider was triggered by painful shyness and my unconventional upbringing (aka. being raised by fundamentalist Christian parents).
In fact, I was practically hand-fed since birth with the idea that I was an “alien on this earth,” and that Jesus could come back at any time and take me to my “true home” in heaven. (Yep … enough said.) Yet the feeling of being an outsider runs much deeper than religious brainwashing or being classed as one of the “unpopular kids” in school.
To me, this feeling of being an outsider looking in is something intrinsic, subterranean, and seemingly fundamental to my experience of being a human.
And I know that you feel it too …
…otherwise, why would you be reading this article?
Perhaps you’ve also carried this unshakable feeling within you; that of being a nomad and wanderer in life. No matter how close you get to others, that feeling of being an outsider is always looming in the background:
it’s present in your interactions with people, your observations, dreams, desires, and motivations – and it awaits you at the beginning and end of your day.
I think you know what I mean. (And it’s this very feeling that, in truth, has motivated me to write everything I’ve ever written.)
But why do we feel this way?
I’ve done a lot of soul searching when it has come to this question. What I’ve discovered is that obviously there are many possible reasons for feeling like an outsider.
But the most significant reason I’ve found to date is all to do with the soul – that inner spark of divinity within us.
We’re all born with a soul but not all of us continue to maintain this deep inner connection as we grow older. Shamanic cultures call this disconnection soul loss. But that inner knowing that something is missing or askew is called a spiritual awakening.
As such, those of us who feel like outsiders quite simply are ‘awake’ to something others in society aren’t.
Outsiders And The Existential Crisis
Put simply, at the core of feeling like an outsider looking in is the sense that something is not quite right. We feel that we don’t belong because we can’t relate to the people or environments around us.
The end result of feeling this lack of belonging is that we don’t feel truly seen or heard (or we don’t feel safe enough to let ourselves be seen or heard).