What is a Narcissist?
The term Narcissist originates from Greek mythology about a handsome Greek hunter, Narcissus who fell so in love with his reflection in a pool he couldn’t look away and eventually died.
Narcissism means a grandiose sense of self, while self-love and confidence are highly desirable traits but when a person starts exaggerating these as a way to compensate for a poor sense of self, it is trouble.
Yes, you read that right. On the outside, a Narcissist may look like a very charming and confident individual but inside he has an unhealthy sense of self.
His unhealthy sense of self could be developed in his childhood either due to positive reinforcement where he was fed the belief that he is special and better than everyone else leading to a grandiose sense of self or negative reinforcement where he was totally unloved and neglected to lead to a feeling of not being good enough and he creates a grandiose sense of self to minimize the pain of not being good enough.
Double Standards of Narcissistic Personality
1) A Narcissistic person has a grandiose sense of self or the inflated sense of importance and he seeks constant admiration to feed this.
2) A Narcissist is unable to think that anything is wrong with them since that would shatter his self-image of perfectionism and power.
3) He is not in touch with his real self and is only engaging with the world with the inflated image that he has created in his mind and therefore lacks empathy to get into healthy or meaningful relationships.
4) A narcissist person views someone or something only as an object to provide him the Narcissistic fix.
5) He will be nice to you only if he thinks that you can enhance his sense of self in any way.
And this is the reason why a Narcissist has a lot of double standards in his life and relationships.
They have a strong belief that there are certain benchmarks, others have to ‘compulsorily’ comply with, while they may ‘choose’ to follow them, according to their convenience. Here are few examples of a Narcissist’s double standards:
Exposed: Top 6 Double Standards of a Narcissist
1). Attention seeking but stingy to share the limelight
Narcissists are always looking for their fix. They constantly seek attention and appreciation to maintain their grandiose sense of self.
They will easily grow impatient in a conversation which is not about them and will make every effort to steer the conversation back towards them.
They will brag about all their achievements and how great they are but undermine your success.
They are not comfortable sharing the spotlight with anyone.
2). Emotionally demanding but oblivious to your needs
A Narcissist is highly demanding and needs your full attention to his entire range of emotions to be it rage or sulking or tantrums but when it comes to your emotions, they will not pay any heed and downright ridicule you for having or expressing those emotions.
3). Hypercritical towards others but do not own their mistakes
A narcissist is always looking to put someone down to make him feel better about himself. He will be hypercritical of your flaws and might even project his own shortcomings on you because in his eyes he is always right and anything that went wrong is due to others.
4). Obsessed with their own image and power but undermine your success
A Narcissist is obsessed with his image and superficial things. He will take great time and care to look good, to make contacts with influential people and acquire possessions.
He is constantly looking for things and people that make him look good and feed his grandiose sense of self. He will keep bragging about his talents and achievements but when you it comes to your success, he will second guess you and undermine any progress.
5). The grandiose self of self but lacking any real substance
Though a Narcissist looks very confident and charming on the outside, he has a very unhealthy sense of self. He constantly feels a void or a lack that he tries to fill with his inflated sense of self. He is trying to gain things that help him maintain his grandiose sense of self and since these are mostly superficial things like his physical appearance and status, he lacks any depth or real substance.