Being with a narcissist is absolutely frustrating, is an understatement. A narcissist and their double standards are enough to make anyone question their sanity. The unhealthy self-love and self-confidence that they exhibit can be nauseating, to say the least. But, most of all it is their double standards that blatantly show how the rules and expectations that they impose on others don’t apply to them in the slightest.
What is Narcissism?
The term Narcissism originates from Greek mythology about a handsome Greek hunter, Narcissus who fell so in love with his reflection in a pool he couldn’t look away and eventually died.
Narcissism means a grandiose sense of self. While self-love and confidence are highly desirable traits but when a person starts exaggerating these as a way to compensate for a poor sense of self, it is trouble.
Yes, you read that right. On the outside, a narcissist may look like a very charming and confident individual but inside they have an unhealthy sense of self.
Their unhealthy sense of self could be developed in their childhood either due to positive reinforcement where they were fed the belief that they are special and better than everyone else leading to a grandiose sense of self. Or negative reinforcement where they were totally unloved and neglected which led to a feeling of not being good enough and this creates a grandiose sense of self to minimize the pain of not being good enough.
Double Standards of Narcissistic Personality
1) A narcissistic person has a grandiose sense of self or an inflated sense of importance and they seek constant admiration to feed this.
2) A narcissist is unable to think that anything is wrong with them, since that would shatter their self-image of perfectionism and power.
3) They are not in touch with their real self and are only engaging with the world with the inflated image that they have created in their minds and therefore lack empathy to get into healthy or meaningful relationships.
4) A narcissistic person views someone or something only as an object to provide them with their narcissistic fix.
5) They will be nice to you only if they think that you can enhance their sense of self in any way.
And this is the reason why a narcissist has a lot of double standards in their lives and relationships.
They have a strong belief that there are certain benchmarks, others have to ‘compulsorily’ comply with, while they may ‘choose’ to follow them, according to their convenience. Here are a few examples of a narcissist’s double standards.
Here Are The 6 Frustrating Double Standards of A Narcissist
1. Attention seeking but stingy to share the limelight.
Narcissists are always looking for their fix. They constantly seek attention and appreciation to maintain their grandiose sense of self. They will easily grow impatient in a conversation that is not about them and will make every effort to steer the conversation back towards them.
They will brag about all their achievements and how great they are but undermine your success. They are not comfortable sharing the spotlight with anyone.
2. Emotionally demanding but oblivious to your needs.
A narcissist is highly demanding and needs your full attention to their entire range of emotions, be it rage or sulking or tantrums. But when it comes to your emotions, they will not pay any heed and downright ridicule you for having or expressing those emotions.
3. Hypercritical towards others but do not own up to their mistakes.
A narcissist is always looking to put someone down to make themselves feel better. They will be hypercritical of your flaws and might even project their own shortcomings on you because in their eyes they are always right and anything that went wrong is due to others.
4. Obsessed with their own image and power but will undermine your success.
A narcissist is obsessed with their image and superficial things. They will take lot of time and care to look good, to make contacts with influential people, and acquire possessions.
They are constantly looking for things and people that will make them look good and feed their grandiose sense of self. They will keep bragging about their talents and achievements but when it comes to your success, they will second guess you and undermine any progress.
Related: 15 Red Flags Of Manipulative People
5. They have a grandiose sense of self but lack any real substance.
Though a narcissist looks very confident and charming on the outside, they have a very unhealthy sense of self. They constantly feel a void or a lack in themselves that they try to fill with their inflated sense of self.
They are trying to gain things that help them maintain their grandiose sense of self and since these are mostly superficial things like their physical appearance and status, they lack any depth or real substance.
6. Emotionally needy but lacking any empathy.
A narcissist is very fragile emotionally. They are constantly seeking someone to soothe them and they gain attention by either self-pity or rage. They are so full of themselves that they are unable to see beyond their own emotional needs.
If you are expecting a narcissist to demonstrate true love, compassion or empathy, then forget about it, they do not even consider others as human beings. They just view them as an object to supply them with their unending narcissistic fix.