Are you emotionally abusing yourself all the time, without even realizing that you’re doing it? How many times have you told yourself mean things, and broken your own heart and self-confidence in the process? Excessive self abuse and self-criticism is just another way of emotionally abusing yourself, and putting yourself down.
A certain amount of self-criticism is important for developing self-awareness and staying humble, but when you do it too much, it can take a toll on your emotional and mental health and make you doubt yourself all the time. When you self abuse yourself like this (and it doesn’t always have to be physical), you’re giving your soul the message that you deserve this pain.
Your biggest critic is you and your inner critic. Like I mentioned above, it is okay to be a little hard on yourself sometimes, but if it becomes a habit and you keep on doubting yourself and putting yourself down, that’s when it becomes a problem.
If your inner critic is an especially harsh one who is always pushing you to emotionally self-harm and self-destruct yourself, then there might be a couple of deep-rooted reasons behind that.
How Are You Emotionally Abusing Yourself?
Sometimes when you talk to yourself, you tend to put yourself down without realizing it. You might think that you are just trying to be strong and more resilient, but the truth is constant self-deprecation can end up making you hate yourself. If this keeps on happening, it’s just a matter of time before your self-confidence and self-belief crumble, and you are left to pick up the pieces of the pain of your hurt and lost self.
Here are some of the most common things you say to yourself that shows you’re emotionally abusing yourself:-
- “I’m not good enough for him!”
- “I messed up. Again!”
- “I’m fat and ugly!”
- “I will never be successful in life!”
- “I’m not worthy of love and I’ll die alone!”
- “I’m too sensitive. I need to toughen up.”
- “I will keep my opinions to myself, because they aren’t worth anything.”
- “I can’t do anything right!”
- “I am worthless and a waste of space.”
- “I am stupid and everyone hates me.”
- “I have an ugly body and I hate it. No wonder nobody wants to go out with me.”
- “I am the reason my loved ones are unhappy.”
- “I am a burden on everyone I love.”
- “I don’t have the right to expect anything good from others.”
- “I shouldn’t have any dreams, because I am not smart or talented enough to fulfill them.”
- “I am always wrong!”
- “I am a needy and clingy person, so I should just keep my mouth shut and mind my own business!”
Why You Emotionally Abuse Yourself
Why do you treat yourself this way? Why do you always keep on insulting yourself and putting yourself down? Everything we do has a reason behind it, and do does this. If you’re constantly emotionally abusing yourself, then there might be a couple of deep-seated reasons behind it.
These might be some probable causes behind you emotionally abusing yourself constantly:-
- Traumatic childhood.
- Emotional and psychological abuse by your parents.
- One or both parents abandoning you.
- Getting cheated on multiple times in adult relationships.
- Being in toxic, abusive, and dysfunctional relationships.
- Over-critical parents or partner.
- Experiencing traumatic events like bullying, sexual harassment and other forms of abuse.
- Negative self-talk.
- Lack of appreciation and warmth from loved ones.
- Experiencing neglect and frequent punisment.
- Being made to deal with the problems and stress of your parents when you were a child,
However, you can break this emotionally abusive cycle if you want, and understanding where it’s all stemming from is a good first step. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, and these are just a few ways with the help of which you can stop emotionally abusing yourself.