Are you being hard on yourself?
Criticizing oneself for every bit of the actions and finding faults every now and then is what defines a person who is hard on himself. Indeed! This might sound obnoxious to others. Why would someone create obstructions and difficulties for oneself? Is it really very hard to appreciate and tap one’s own shoulder for doing something good?
A person who is hard
- Perfection is the ultimate goal for them– they do not believe in settling down for anything less than ‘perfect’. Sometimes it is the card from the past that raises their expectation level. Even the slightest mistake in a task demoralizes them to the extent that appreciation from thousands does not count at all.
- They prefer to be self-independent- impression on others is an essential factor for them. Hence, asking for the help from others is taken as an act that lowers down the dignity thereby declaring them as incapable and incompetent. They prefer to do everything by themselves, no matter how badly they are in need of some help.
- It is hard to digest criticism from others- finding faults and flaws are what they master in. but when someone else points out the same mistake, it gets miserable. The words of criticism from others keep haunting every moment and the guilt of not being good enough worsens the situation for them.
- It is even harder to accept the compliments- getting compliments from themselves is rarest but once in a while, if they receive praising words from others, the reaction is ironically negative. “Why is someone being unnecessarily nice to me?”- is the thought of the moment that pops up in their mind.
- Guilt becomes the part of their personality- “sorry” is the tagline of such kind of people. Without questioning about them being responsible for the blunder or not, sorry comes out naturally. These habits clearly indicate self-pity and inferiority complex within the person.
- Failures are unforgivable- turning off the switch of self-compassion is the ultimate punishment that such people opt for. They make the situations worse for themselves in order to get reminded of the mistake every second moment. Is it a literal way to lessen the guilt? Perhaps for the people who think so?
- Messy life of others is also what they blame themselves for- feeling responsible for not making your friend enjoy at a party, criticizing yourself because your child didn’t grow up the way you wished, blaming your careless attitude when a friend of you gets into some trouble and many more are all sing of being hard on yourself.
- Sleeping peacefully is a hectic task- with all the thoughts clashing within your mind, the conversations of the day replaying continuously in your head and the juggled up ideas depresses you till the core.
If you are one among those who can relate to all these struggles, remember that self-criticism is essential undoubtedly but sometimes it is the word of appreciation from your own mouth that can boost up the confidence within you, charge up the battery and revitalize every ounce of energy to perform better.