Do you ever have trouble making conversation with others even though you consider yourself to be a very smart and intelligent person? If so, this may puzzle you. The post highlights the reasons why intelligent people have poor social skills.
The truth is that social skills and intelligence don’t necessarily go together.
Why is it that some very smart people can be so socially inept or socially awkward?
So I’ve put together this shortlist of ways your intelligence makes you FAIL in social situations… and what to do about it. Here are some of the reasons why very intelligent, very creative people often have difficulty in making small talk conversation successfully:
1. They seek information instead of developing skills
Through practice. Doing something over and over again is what allows you to develop a skill. Sure, there’s some basic training you NEED to go through, but to go from being bad to good in a skill… you’ll have to put in the time and effort. Yet there’s a lot of socially inept people who don’t treat social skills in this way. Instead, they look for the one last magic piece of information that will solve all their problems.
And you don’t get them by THINKING about them, you get them by GETTING them. This means you’ll learn more by in 2 hours of actually getting out of the house and talking to people than you will in 20 hours of “education”.
2. They think too much
It’s because being social and contributing to a conversation is not a problem to be solved by thinking. It’s more about an energetic and spontaneous expression of how you’re feeling.
You should rely more on speaking from your GUT feeling and instinct instead of trying to carefully plan and think through everything you say.
If you can’t think of what to say, you probably go on thinking and thinking and thinking. Taxing your brain to come up with some good and interesting conversation topic to talk about. Because you care what you say and place importance on your words instead of people. You don’t want to look awkward.
Never realizing that THINKING TOO MUCH is the main reason you have a problem speaking up more to begin with! Overthinking is one of the main reasons why intelligent people have poor social skills.
3. They psych themselves out
Your mind is designed to remember the past or simulate the future to help you survive in life. Smart people take this future simulating and risk-avoiding nature of the brain way too far sometimes. How? By coming up with all of the reasons why everything will not work when it comes to social situations.
For example, maybe you want to ask a girl out on a date. But then your mind imagines and you create an awkward silence and then you say “Hi”… And you imagine her saying “No”… and then her telling everyone else in the world about what a loser and a creep you are… and then you have to see her every day still and try to avoid feeling super awkward. And finally, you don’t ask her out.
4. Are you getting the picture here?
Having a high emotional quotient it doesn’t take much time to read micro-expressions and understand subtle body language cues in other people. You can easily figure it out whether the other person is impatient, bored, or extrovert. Accordingly, your interest in conversation with people may decrease or increase.
Imagining the worst that can happen causes you to not even try. You probably avoid a lot of parties, conversations and social situations for fear of the worst happening… all thanks to your smart mind which has made you see all the “risks.”