8 Reasons Why Intelligent People Lack Social Skills

Do you ever have trouble making conversation with others even though you consider yourself to be a very intelligent person? If so, this may puzzle you. You may wonder why you are so poor at making conversation with others, even though you are very smart, and you know a lot of interesting things.

The truth is that social skills and intelligence don’t necessarily go together.

Why is it that some very smart people can be so socially inept or socially awkward?

So I’ve put together this short list of ways your intelligence makes you FAIL in social situations… and what to do about it.Here are some of the reasons why very intelligent, very creative people often have difficulty in making small talk conversation successfully:

 

1. They Seek Information Instead of Developing Skills

 Through practice. Doing something over and over again is what allows you to develop a skill. Sure, there’s some basic training you NEED to go through, but to go from being bad to good in a skill… you’ll have to put in the time and effort.Yet there’s a lot of socially inept people who don’t treat social skills in this way. Instead they look for the one last magic piece of information that will solve all their problems.

And you don’t get them by THINKING about them, you get them by GETTING them.This means you’ll learn more by in 2 hours of actually getting out of the house and talking to people than you will in 20 hours of “education”.

 

2. They Think Too Much

It’s because being social and contributing to a conversation is not a problem to be solved by thinking. It’s more about an energetic and spontaneous expression of how you’re feeling.

You should rely more on speaking from your GUT feeling and instinct instead of trying to carefully plan and think through everything you say.

If you can’t think of what to say, you probably go on thinking and thinking and thinking. Taxing your brain to come up with some good and interesting conversation topic to talk about.

Never realizing that THINKING TOO MUCH is the main reason you have a problem speaking up more to begin with!

 

3. They Psych Themselves Out

 Your mind is designed to remember the past or simulate the future to help you survive in life.  Smart people take this future simulating and risk avoiding nature of the brain way too far sometimes. How? By coming up with all of the reasons why everything will not work when it comes to social situations.

For example, maybe you want to ask a girl out on a date. But then your mind imagines and you create an awkward silenceand then you say “Hi”… And you imagine her saying “No”… and then her telling everyone else in the world about what a loser and a creep you are… and then you have to see her every day still and try to avoid feeling super awkward. And finally you dont ask her out.

 

4. Are you getting the picture here?

Imagining the worst that can happen causes you to not even try. You probably avoid a lot of parties, conversations and social situations for fear of the worst happening… all thanks to your smart mind which has made you see all the “risks.”

Usually, failure is not as big a deal as your mind makes it out to be. You ask a girl out, she says no… and life goes on. You feel bad about it for a few days, and within 2 weeks you no longer really remember it much. And beyond that…

The little failures are necessary to improve your skills. Failing in one conversation is not nearly as bad as the consequences of avoiding taking risks in general.

 

5. They Can’t Deal With Fear And Other Emotions

An intelligent person’s strength is often their logic, which means their weakness is emotions.

When it comes to dealing with emotions… a lot of smart people become totally uncomfortable . Maybe they start to  run away from the emotions… especially fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of opening up and connecting with others, and so on.

They may be perfectionists. These people may have very high expectations of themselves about everything they do. When they think they have failed at anything, they judge themselves very harshly.

Sponsored

8 COMMENTS

  1. Reason #9
    It’s hard to hold a conversation with an unintelligent person because they are boring and have nothing constructive to to add to the conversation, so you get irritated at them.

    It doesn’t all have to do with shortcomings of intelligent people, trying to talk to a person with the IQ of a golden retriever can be obnoxious and frustrating. Not to say all people, but there are some that just make it painful, and I don’t consider myself particularly intelligent or superior to anybody.

    • EDIT:
      Hahaha okay, I have to laugh at myself, I wrote the following interpreting that what you said was that I may think I’m superior to others. After I wrote it, it occurred to me that you may have meant that I was intelligent, in which case, thank you, I appreciate the compliment. I’m going to leave what I wrote as I feel it still expresses a bit more thoroughly what I had meant. Cheers!

      ORIGINAL:
      I understand why I may come across like that, to be fair, I did sound rather asinine. What I said was intended to reflect the idea that it’s difficult to talk to some people, not just for reasons stated in the article. The article uses examples such as over-thinking, shyness, etc., but it doesn’t touch upon the idea of how difficult it can be for an intelligent person to talk to someone who isn’t as intelligent, it can be very frustrating. To the point that a person may not want to interact with others because they don’t want to have to explain, argue, reason out, or anything with people.
      Like trying to have a discussion about equality with someone who is racist, sometimes it’s too frustrating to even want to talk to them. Not that they aren’t an amazing engineer, programmer, teacher, or what have you, but that discussion is just not something you want to touch upon because they have a narrow minded opinion of how race dictates the quality of a person.

- Advertisment -

Latest

Provide a creative, relevant caption for the picture and we will select the best captions to publish it with the image and your name after 49 hours. Wise pick for the image will be published on 25 November #captionthis #caption
Driven men, successful men, and entrepreneurial men all have something in common… They all yearn for an emotionally fulfilling relationship.
One strategy for dealing with a narcissist or sociopath is to act like a “gray rock”, meaning that you become uninteresting and unresponsive.
Here’s a 10 cheat-sheet on how to make a man catch major feelings for you.

Editor's Pick

Follow these laws of 'Shiva Karma' and attain the highest form of existence!
The type of toxic person you attract and the reason why you do so.
Look closely at the picture below. And decide what you saw first. Whatever you see will tell you a lot about your perception of life and who you are on the inside.
If you were raised by a narcissistic parent, that legacy may affect you in multiple ways.
- Advertisement -

Popular

Hey, Listen To Your Emotions
Clear your mind, gaze upon the following 6 Sigils and Choose the one that speaks to you most. Read on to find what it means for you
The psychoanalysis test is quick and easy. Its effectiveness is astonishing. All you have to do is read about the first figure that caught your eye. Take a look:
Useful Psychology Tricks that will give you an upper hand when dealing with people

Latest quotes

Being Happy is a Very Personal Thing
We Are All Shaped