Men out there, there’s so much more to you than physicality that attracts a women to you!
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in my career as a relationship coach it’s that guys’ beliefs about what actually attracts women is pretty ass-backwards.
Men have been raised with the false belief that they should always appear detached, cool and unemotional, 24/7, or risk being known in guy world as “weak”.
I’ve encountered countless driven entrepreneurs who work tirelessly for years to amass their fortune only to find that the wall of cash that they’ve built around themselves is only making it more difficult for them to find a woman who values them for their character.
I’ve had potential clients be “on the fence” about whether to spend some of their cherished time and money doing their internal work, but they don’t hesitate to buy a flashy watch or car (presumably for the same end goal of trying to attract a high quality women into their lives… *face palm*).
So if cash-flow, fancy accessories, and an unexpressive face don’t attract high quality, loving women (which they really don’t) then what character traits are women attracted to?
Here are seven of the most important things that women will always be attracted to.
Be conscious of a few of these in your daily life and you’ll save yourself time, money, frustration, and headaches in trying to deeply engage your dream woman on an emotional level.
“I’m really attracted to a guy who knows what he wants in life and is going after it. I absolutely adore being around that kind of energy.” – Jessica, 27
Women are attracted to men that have goals and are actively pursuing them.
Masculine energy is directional energy. Like a boulder rolling down a hill, the single-focus energy that penetrates through resistance in pursuit of achieving an end result is very attractive to women.
But drive isn’t always enough on its own. Ideally you’ll be driven in something that you’re passionate about.
High quality women are infinitely more attracted to a man who is dripping with passion about his work as an artist (despite making under $30,000/year) compared to a man who reluctantly went into law to please his parents and is so unenthusiastic about his work that he uses self-deprecating and dismissive language every time you try and talk to him about it.
As much as most men resist this idea, when it comes to attracting a high value woman of character, drive beats dollars every time.
Every person wants to feel deeply seen and understood by someone in their lives but few people want to take the time to explain or reveal themselves.
When it comes to deeply connecting with a woman on an emotional level, your presence will always mean more than any presents ever could.
By being fully present with women (through eye contact, listening, and prioritizing distraction-free conversations) you give them the sense of feeling seen.
Everyone (male or female) wants to feel deeply seen and appreciated. The first step in giving women this feeling is in developing your personal presence.
Want a less new-agey term than presence?
What percentage of your attention are you giving the woman you’re speaking to moment to moment?
Is the answer anything but 100%? Then you aren’t being fully present with her.
Turn off the TV, put down your cell phone, face her directly, give direct eye contact, and truly hear the words that she is telling you. That kind of laser beam focus of attention makes women weak in the knees.
I once polled a few hundred women to ask them “What is the most important non-physical trait that attracts you to a guy?”
The top answer? A sense of humour.
Life is serious enough as it is. No wonder women value the lightness and playfulness that a partner with a sense of humour brings to their lives.