Do you wake up every day, struggling with a break-up that has left you devastated? Are you wondering about tips for letting go of love with love for yourself?
Has all the reading that you’ve done, all the conversations that you have had with friends, all the things that you’ve heard from your mother, are they all helping you understand that the best way for you to get over your loss is by learning to love yourself?
It’s true! The best way to truly recover from a break-up is to start loving yourself fully and completely.
So, what are some ideas for letting go of love with love for yourself?
1. Do things that comfort you.
When your heart is broken and you feel like your life is over, one of the best things that you can do is self-care. Your body and your spirit may feel broken but some nurturing will help them heal.
When my husband left me, I was left devastated and alone. My house was empty, my kids were gone and my husband no longer came home at the end of the day. My days were endless and I didn’t know how I was going to survive being alone.
One day, a Groupon appeared in my inbox from Massage Envy, offering a 60-minute massage for $40. I had nothing to do so I bought the Groupon and I made an appointment for a massage.
That massage was one of the best hours of my life. I was in a warm room, on a cozy table and I had a lovely woman attending to my aches and pains, making me feel loved and cared for.
I realized that day, when I emerged from the spa feeling rejuvenated and alive, that doing things that comforted me was what I would need to help me moving forward.
From that day on, I would spend some time every day doing things to take care of myself. I did yoga, went for walks, spent time antiquing with girlfriends and drank whiskey by the fire on cold winter nights.
By nurturing myself, by loving myself, I was able to get the strength that I needed to let go of the loss of my marriage. I was truly letting go of love with love for myself.
2. Do things that make you feel good.
Another thing that I did during the months after my husband left was I started volunteering at a local food bank.
Volunteering was good for me for two reasons. The first was that it filled hours in my day, hours that I might otherwise have spent wallowing in my pain. Instead, I spent those hours helping those in need to get food to feed their families. I met many people and saw a lot of tears, and even more smiles, during those hours at the food bank. I recognized how fortunate I was for all that I had and seeing the strength and perseverance of people who were going hungry gave me the strength to take care of myself.
A big part of loving yourself is taking care of other people. If you have the opportunity in your day to help another person, do it. There’s nothing better than helping someone in need to nurture a love of self.
3. Spend time with those who love you.
When your heart is broken and you are feeling alone, one of the best remedies is spending time with those who love you. Spending time with those who love you will remind you of all the reasons why you should love yourself.
A client of mine was recently left by a man she considered to be the love of her life. What he really was, was an abuser, someone who isolated her from her family and friends, who belittled her and made her believe that she was nothing. By the time he left, she had no love for herself. Only self-hate.
Because she was left without a place to live, my client returned home. Her parents welcomed her with open arms. Her brothers and sisters who lived nearby came over regularly. Her family circled the wagons and showed her their love.