Woman and Solitude
– Drinking the Rain, by Alix Kates Shulman
– Fifty Days of Solitude, by Doris Grumbach
– Listening Below the Noise, by Anne D. LeClaire
– Journal of a Solitude, by May Sarton
– Where God Begins to Be, by Karen Karper
– Quiet Strength: Embracing, Empowering and Honoring Yourself as an Introvert, by Aletheia Luna
– Celebrating Time Alone: Stories of Splendid Solitude, by Lionel Fisher
– The Call of Solitude: Alone time in a World of Attachment, by Ester Schaler Buchholz
– Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, by John T. Cacioppo & William Patrick
– Migrations to Solitude, by Sue Halpern
– Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, by Eric Klinenberg
– Aloneness in America: the Stories that Matter, by Robert A. Ferguson
– Poustinia: Encountering God in Silence, Solitude, and Prayer, by Catherine de Hueck Doherty
– Solitude: A Return to the Self, by Anthony Storr
– The Labyrinth of Solitude, by Octavio Paz
– The Greatest Escape: Adventures in the History of Solitude, by David Balcom
– Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto, by Anneli Rufus
– Steppenwolf, by Hermann Hesse
– Notes From the Underground, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
– Invisible Man, by Ralph Ellison
– Savage Solitude, by Máighréad Medbh
– The Unwanted Sound of Everything We Want: A Book About Noise, by Garret Keizer
– In Pursuit of Silence: Listening for Meaning in a World of Noise, by George Prochnik
– A Book of Silence, by Sara Maitland
– Zero Decibels: The Quest for Absolute Silence, by George Michelsen Foy
– The Man Who Quit Money, by Mark Sundeen
– Voluntary Simplicity: Toward a Way of Life That is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Rich, by Duane Elgin
– Walden by Henry David Thoreau
– The Moneyless Man: A Year of Freeconomics Living, by Mark Boyle
– Graceful Simplicity: Toward a Philosophy and Politics of Simple Living, by Jerome M. Segal
– Small is Beautiful: Economics as if People Mattered, by E. F. Schumacher
If you have any book suggestions, feel free to add to this list in the comments!
What do Michelle Pfeifer, Julia Roberts, David Letterman, and Clint Eastwood have in common? They’re all extroverted-introverts. And it’s an increasing phenomenon.
Thanks to the Western world’s favoritism of extroverts, we introverts increasingly find ourselves needing to be chameleons and adapt to our surroundings.
But while there are benefits to temporarily tapping into your inner extrovert, we need to be careful of our energy levels. Adopting the extroverted-introvert guise can, unfortunately, lead to burnout, anxiety, and sometimes even depression.
Here are some signs that you’re a struggling extroverted-introvert:
- You feel the need to live up to an identity you have created every time you go out.
- You are afraid that if anyone truly saw the “real you” they wouldn’t accept or like you.
- You feel somewhat like a fraud.
- You feel chronically tense and anxious.
- You feel exhausted and completely drained at the end of the day.
- You have poor immunity to sickness.
- You reject and/or ridicule your naturally quiet self and wish you could be “different” or like “everyone else.”
- You feel as though every interaction with others takes a lot of effort.
- You feel attached to the identity/mask/image you have created because you feel protected from others.
As I mentioned before, tapping into your extroverted self is not necessarily a detrimental or bad thing to do. Many times exuding energy is needed or necessary. However, when we are motivated by fear, anxiety, or low self-esteem, our masks can be destructive to our well-being.
If you have adopted an extroverted facade out of fear, anxiety or low self-esteem, you might benefit from asking the following questions. Write down your responses on a piece of paper or digital document, and assess your thoughts and feelings. This is an excellent way to better understand yourself, and change your actions from instinctual and unconsciously driven, to consciously driven:
- Why do I adopt this role?
- What insecurities and issues do I have that cause me to react with an extroverted mask? (Perhaps the issue is low self-worth, lack of trust in my abilities, excessive anxiety, inability to cope with others, etc.)
- What can I do about my insecurities and issues?
- If I feel the need to be liked, why?
- How can I practice more self-love and self-care?
- When do I put the mask on? Why?
- How can I cope with this situation differently?
- Why do other people’s opinions of me matter anyway?
- What’s the worst that could happen if I drop my mask?
- How can I excel without adopting this role?
I hope these questions help. The more self-awareness you develop, the more you will be able to accept the person you are with open arms – and shape your life that way.
There Are 4 Types of Introverts
Not all introverts are the same.
When you ask people what being an introvert means to them, their answers always vary. While some will tell you that it’s being a dreamer or sensitive person, others will tell you that its a person who loves solitude due to anxiety in social situations.
While Carl Jung did a great job of creating the Introvert-Extrovert spectrum, he didn’t provide any different types within the introvert category. The Big Five Personality Test tried to remedy this by labeling those who scored low on “Enthusiasm” and “Assertiveness” as introverts. But we all know that this is a very limited understanding of introversion and far from the truth.