Things To Know Before Dating an Introverted Man

 / 

,
things to know before dating an introverted man

Dating an introverted man can be a little overwhelming, especially if you’re an extrovert. You both have sides that are totally unique to each other, but that’s why you’re attracted to each other, right? Understanding them is the primary thing if you really want to make your relationship last with an introverted guy.

“I’m dating an introverted man, how do I know if we have a future?”

A Reader Wonders Whether Her Long-Distance Relationship With An Introverted Man Has A Future.

“I just read your article: “3 Huge Tips All Extroverts MUST Know When Dating An Introvert” after reading and researching the extrovert introvert relationship topic for an exhausting amount of time. I thought I would reach out to see if you could give me some insight or thoughts on a situation I have found myself in.

I have never really focused or researched much about personality types – I have made the silly and naive assumptions of combining “extrovert and outgoing” and “introvert and shy.” Over New Year’s Eve, I went skiing with some friends where I met a guy.

Though I live in Texas and he lives in California, we’ve communicated daily since the meeting. We got together recently and last weekend we met up for a little weekend getaway (first time seeing each other since January). It was a great weekend, very smooth, intimate, not uneasy or awkward in any way.

He is an introvert. In some ways, I believe and feel he is an outgoing introvert – but definitely an introvert – he has even mentioned and talked about this to me. I like this about him, however, I have found myself wondering about how he feels about me or where he sees this going since we have not had a defining talk about that.

Over the past four months of us talking I have no reason to believe this isn’t something he wants to pursue. I have come to know his behavior of retreating into a cave when he stresses and I let him be but overall he has been very assuring in the sense of continuing to communicate (even if it’s only a few times throughout the day).

So my question and purpose for reaching out to you are… how do I know if this is something that he wants to continue to explore… long-distance is a huge factor. I have read countless articles all saying that introverted men are slow in their time and it takes patience for them to show how they feel….

I owe it to myself to know or feel whether or not he sees this going somewhere because I don’t want to wait around for something that he doesn’t see a possible future with. I suppose all I really want to find out is if there is some sort of a potential commitment?” -N. from Texas

First of all, N, let’s talk about personality types. If you haven’t yet, take a test and get clear on YOUR TYPE so that you can better understand yourself. Understanding who you are can help wire you for being happier and what you need in a partner.

I really like the free test over at 16 Personalities, an incredibly well-put-together website that will give you powerful results.

Related: The Reason Introverts and Extroverts Attract Each Other

You can share the link with your introvert partner and ask him to take it too. This will allow you to learn more about each other, giving you each insight into how you tick, how you see life, and how you are likely to deal with the inevitable stresses life tosses at you.

I can tell you that understanding my partner’s type has been one of the best tools for a harmonious and happy home together.

Now Let’s Talk About The Differences Between Introverts And Extroverts.

Introverts do not own the market for being shy and extroverts are not the only outgoing folks. Both types have learned to deal with social situations and may come across as shy when they are actually extroverts or outgoing when they are just friendly introverts.

Being an introvert over an extrovert is about two main factors:

The first difference between introverts and extroverts is energy.

Extroverts Sparkle, Introverts Glow

An introverted person gains energy by being alone (or in intimate, meaningful connections in one-on-one situations).

After being around groups of people– a party, at work, traveling– the introverted person feels drained and tired and needs to recharge his batteries with some quiet time.

So, after being around people and expending their energy, your introverted man needs sleep, to revert to his comfort zone, cave, or simply kick back and play his favorite video game or hobby alone.

An extroverted person gains energy being with others and having social interaction. Sure, extroverts need some quiet time and solid sleep, but going to a party or a noisy restaurant fuels their energy cells.

After coming home from being around lots of other people, they find themselves wired and it may take some time to chill.

Related: 15 Myths About Introverts – In 3 Words

Watch this video to know what introverts need in a relationship:

The second factor that determines whether a person is an introvert or extrovert is how they process their thoughts.

If you are dating an introverted man, then you must know that introverts typically think things through before speaking and don’t enjoy small talk.

This is why introverts may come across as shy, but in all honesty, they are playing conversations through their own mind before saying them out loud.

The extrovert needs to talk things through in order to get clear on what they think.

Related: 11 Honest Ways To Care For Your Introvert

This is why extroverts may seem more outgoing or are often guilty of interrupting others during a conversation.

Usually, when an extrovert does this, they are trying to get clear about what their opinion might actually be. The introvert doesn’t always understand this because when they decide to speak, they usually have already decided on how they feel about the topic that they’re discussing, and the point of saying anything is to share that thought with you.

That said, because men in general rarely love talking about their feelings when you’re dating an introverted man – he is even more likely to bide his time before telling you how he feels about you.

Introverts are like a slow website

Introvert Or Extrovert, Though, No One Likes Feeling Pressured. Right?

The core of your question though isn’t just about being patient with dating an introverted man, it’s really about fear.

The fear of being rejected if he doesn’t feel the same. The fear that you would spend too much of your time on this guy if he really had no interest in a possible future.

And the fact of the matter is, my dear, nothing in life is certain.

We want to hold out for that certainty of, “I care about you and therefore want you to love me back.”

The best relationship advice I can give you if you are dating an introverted man is that you must take a leap of faith if you care about this guy. Because it’s better to begin building a future together thanks to a brave moment on your part than it is for him to just assume that you don’t have deeper feelings for him.

Related: Why Socializing For Introverts Is Exhausting, According To Science

Sure, if he doesn’t feel the same, it will mean a little heartache now. But the longer you wait, the harder it will be to bring up the subject, and the greater the risk that he’ll hurt you if he doesn’t feel the same way.

That said, when you ask about the future, do it in a loving and open way. As I mentioned, no one likes to feel pressured to make a decision about a relationship that they aren’t ready to make.

Maybe the best place to ask is via email, saying something along the lines of “I had such a wonderful time when we were together, and I know the distance can be a challenge, but my gut tells me we have something special here.”

Related: Introverts Vs Extroverts: 5 Things Introverts Do Better Than Anyone Else

Then… be patient with his response. Remember that as an introverted man, he may need a little time to think about how he feels.

This does not mean he doesn’t feel the same about you, but give him the respect of no pressure and a way to reply back in his own way and time.

Good luck!

Are you ready to peel away the need for perfection, strip off the masks you’ve been hiding behind? It’s time to feel alive again. To be bold, feel sexy, and reclaim your confidence.

Find out how you can do just that by clicking here now.


Written By: DEBRA SMOUSE
Originally Appeared On: Attract The One
Printed with permission.
things to know before dating an introverted man pinop
things to know before dating an introverted man pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Is She Playing You? 8 Signs Of A Female Player

Signs Of A Female Player: Is She Playing You Like A Chump

Dating these days can feel like a wild ride, isn’t it? You might find yourself wondering if that certain someone genuinely likes you or is just playing games. If you suspect that your partner may be a female player, then you have come to the right place, because that’s what we are going to talk about today.

Females players are masters of disguise, who are experts at blending charm and manipulation effortlessly. They can make you feel like you’re on top of the world one moment and leave you doubting everything the next.

So, how would you know if you are dating a female player? What are the hints and red flags you should be looking out for? Let’s explore that, shall we?

Related:



Up Next

What Is Your ‘Couple Identity’? 3 Ways It Can Help Enhance Your Love Life

What Is Your Couple Identity? Clear Benefits Of Knowing It

What’s your couple identity? It has everything to do with that sense of “we-ness” which develops between lovers as time goes on. Let’s explore more!

It’s like having a unique dynamic where you see yourselves as part of one close-knit team. But what does that mean exactly, and why is it important for your relationship? Let me explain

What Is Couple’s Identity?

The term “couple’s identity” signifies the shared feeling of “we-ness” that is created by people in love. This implies that one begins to look at oneself not just as a separate entity but also as part of a larger whole.

Couples should strive for healthy interdependence within their relationship.



Up Next

What You Should Know Before Double Texting Your Crush (Ignore At Your Own Peril)

The Double Texting Dilemma: Basic Rules You Should Know

Ever heard of double texting? It’s like when you send a message, get no response, and then hit send again, hoping for a miracle. Simply put, it’s the digital equivalent of poking someone repeatedly to get their attention.

It is okay when you do it to your best friend- fire off 10 texts in a row, and spam them with memes and tiktoks. They’d probably just laugh and roll their eyes. But try the same with someone you’ve only known a few days, and suddenly you’re tiptoeing into “clingy” territory faster than you can say “send.”

So to save you fr



Up Next

What Is Val-Core Dating: 4 Signs This Is Your Thing!

What is Val-core Dating? signs it is your thing!

One of the latest dating trends in 2024 is the Val-core dating or value-based dating. But is it a new trend or has it just been newly named? Have you always prioritized values to choose a partner? Did you feel attracted to someone who shares the same values?

In Val-core dating people choose partners based on the values that matter to them.

Let us understand the concept first.

Val-Core Dating: Is It Your Thing?



Up Next

What Is Rotational Dating? 6 Best Tips For Doing It Right And Making The Most Of It

Rotational Dating? Best Tips For Doing It Right

Have you heard of the new trend called ‘rotational dating’ doing the rounds these days? But what is rotational dating? Well, think of it as the dating world’s version of a buffet – you get to sample different dishes before deciding on your favorite.

If you are curious to know how it works, and want to navigate this exciting approach to romance, then you have come to the right place. Today, we are going to talk about what is rotational dating, how to do it the right way and the benefits of rotational dating.

Let’s start with what is rotational dating first.

Related: ‘Alphabet Dating’: The A T



Up Next

What Is Breadcrumbing And Why Do We Fall Victim To It?

What Is Breadcrumbing And Why Do We Fall Victim To It?

Have you ever been on the other side of breadcrumbing? If you have, you know how horrible it feels. So, what is the best way to deal with this? Let’s find out, shall we?

KEY POINTS

Breadcrumbing is characterised by avoidance of intimacy and commitment uncertainty.

Breadcrumbers often want to seek attention from their partners and appear cool to their friends.

Dealing with breadcrumbing sometimes involves breadcrumbing others.

Breadcrumbing takes its name from the Grimm Brothers story of Hansel and Gretel — two children who in escaping from their wicked stepmother, dr



Up Next

Want To Try Speed Dating? 6 Mindful Tips To Make A Real Connection

What Is Speed Dating: Interesting Tips To Real Connections

Is speed dating the most effective way to find your soul mate through a series of mini dates? Do you feel like giving this exciting trend a try? Let’s see how it works.

This is an event format that allows people to go on many dates within a short time to talk with several people.

Let’s discuss what speed dating is like, how it operates, and some suggestions on optimizing your love life!

What Is Speed Dating?