The Saga Of Broken Men: Why He Cannot Win Love
It is now almost the norm to marry late. We are much more comfortable with delaying matrimony rather than hurrying into it. Most of us are getting hitched much later than our parents.
For those who are into unconventional jobs or live in big cities, marriage is further pushed back into the future.
This, however, does not mean we are not involved in relationships.
But, as we donโt feel ready to get settled, our relationships donโt last long.
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After the breakup, we have to start afresh. Again, we have to go through the emotional cycle with a new person.
With time, the list of your exes lengthens and so do the burden of memories attached to each of them. More unfulfilled promises, more heartbreaks, and tearful breakups weigh down your soul.
Our parents didnโt have to experience the disappointment of the failure of so many romantic relationships because they got themselves into a committed relationship by marrying early.
They must have felt discontent or frustration with their choice at one point in time, but still, they were able to save themselves from the disappointment of multiple failed relationships.
These failed relationships impact you in an irreversible way and you change gradually and permanently.
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You get cynical and hardened from inside.
The series of broken relationships take a heavier toll on men than on women.
Itโs true that women feel as much pain as men do, but we generally keep our hearts more open. This makes us more vulnerable, and that is why we can start over once again after we have healed from the previous breakup.
But, each time we start anew, we leave a piece of our heart behind. Our losses are actually like deaths that kill a bit of us and we can never retrieve those parts that we lose.
And when with all the lost relationships to consider, our losses are indeed heavy. Those bits we lost through the course of our past make us broken men.
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They are mere shadows of what they used to be once.
A broken man canโt give in easily anymore.ย He canโt trust, canโt be involved fully even if he wants to do that badly.
All broken men show a similar behavior pattern.
These men are mostly in their mid or late 30s or even older. They are finally ready to take the ultimate plunge.
They desire strong for long-lasting relationships.
But, alas, they fail to win over their partners because of their inability to love. So, even when they want to settle down, they have to meet disappointment.
Do you know the science of heartbreak? You may like this video:
He Is Always Cautious
The broken men never rush and never seem to flow with passion. Their reaction to everything is somewhat cold. This is their prominent feature.
Itโs good not to rush into relationships. Moving slowly in a relationship is not a bad thing but a woman expects a man to call her his girlfriend and not the girl he is dating after 10 months of being together. She feels disgusted.
The broken man, on the other hand, wants to make his moves cautiously. His past experiences have taught him to be in control rather than regret later.
It is all too well to ensure that the relationship he is in is real before he gets involved deeply.
But a point comes when a woman wants to take the relationship to the next level. We just canโt continue to casually date any longer. He has to decide fast because we would want to start a family and her time is limited.
We would never want to rush into anything or marry someone who isnโt right for us, but at a certain point, we need to know if weโre wasting our time or not.
Women do not want to marry a wrong person, but she would like to ascertain if she is dating someone who is not interested in a future with her.
This, however, doesnโt mean only apply to marriage and children, but women look for commitment in men.
Broken men fail to meet the expectations of women because they are too slow in telling the world that they are in a serious relationship.
Meeting each otherโs families, living in, celebrating festivals and holidays together, making investments for a combined future—are all the signs that the woman wants to see.
They just canโt stop being too careful about every step, and canโt give a new start to their life with a new relationship.
He Forgets Special Events
Itโs not new for broken men to attend birthdays, anniversaries or make time for holidays. They have done all this in their past relationships.
They have been through all these things so many times that they fail to understand these things matter to the woman who is in their life. The women they date feel unloved, unappreciated and confused about her status in his life.
The date and occasions donโt matter to men much but they make efforts for the sake of the girl in their lives.
A broken man acts as per his past experiences. He wonโt bring gifts if he was not appreciated for the gesture by an ex.
Obviously, his girlfriend would confront him for such behavior which she wonโt be able to explain. Finally, the girlfriend too stops doing anything special, and the relationship moves from bad to worse.
He Seems to Lack Emotion
Women cannot understand broken men for they show the desire to be in a relationship, but sans the enthusiasm or zest.
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They just canโt show their affection, unless they are emotionally charged or under the influence of alcohol.
He is ever so serious that the girl in his life begins to doubt if there is any love between them.
She doubts their future together and raises questions, like โWhere is this going?โ and โWhat do you want?โ
He doesnโt like these questions and feels irritated. He starts pulling away. Even if he wants the relationship, he canโt let someone in easily.
Usually, the relationship ends painfully. The girl loves him with all the love she is capable of, but a point comes when she can no longer bear his emotionlessness and leaves him.
Related:ย 9 Ways to Fix Your Broken Marriageย ย
The broken man is shattered because he lost someone he valued and he knows he is the only one to blame for it. He tries to get her back, but she has moved on with someone who is sure about her.
Every broken man must get rid of the baggage from the past before he realizes itโs too late. Maybe the last woman he loses will awaken him and he will eventually settle down.
Whatever be his method of recovery, the broken man should learn to retain love and happiness.
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