What is emotional detachment? You might have never heard about it, and if you did it, it is most probably that you have heard about its negative phase. When I speak about this topic, I refer to positive emotional detachment, and it has a positive phase.
In its negative phase, it can mean lack of empathy, repression of the emotions and estrangement. I am not talking about this kind of emotional detachment.
I am talking about something else, about a positive quality, which is very useful in many situations. It can save you a lot of suffering, stress, and emotional upset.
What Is Emotional Detachment?
Let’s define detachment and talk about its positive meaning.
It is a state of inner calmness and poise, and the ability not to let what people say or do agitate you emotionally and disturb your state of mind.
This detachment skill, and it is a skill, helps you keep your poise in difficult situations, and enables you to avoid dwelling in the past and occupying your mind with negative thoughts. Positive emotional detachment is a skill, which can help you keep your mental and emotional poise and balance, and avoid taking things too personally.
Positive emotional detachment is not a state of indifference or passivity, and does not mean lack of interest or lack of feelings. True detachment is something else. It is an attitude of open-mindedness and of being practical.
You can be loving, caring, interested in people, and yet keep a certain measure of detachment. This would protect you from becoming too attached for your own good, or emotionally drained by negative people.
People, who possess positive emotional detachment, keep their poise when they run into problems or trouble. They accept the good and the bad equally, because their minds are in a state inner balance and peace. They do not get upset, if their plans do not turn out as expected. They try again, or look for a new approach.
If they succeed, they are happy, and if they don’t, they will either try again, or forget the matter and move on to something else.
It is always good to be, to a certain degree, and emotionally detached person. This will save you a lot emotional burden, manipulation and unpleasant feelings. However, this should be accompanied by common sense, thinking, and not going to extremes.
Clarification about Positive Emotional Detachment
- Is not emotional numbing – It is a state of calmness.
- Does not make you shun relationships.
- Does not mean lack of emotions – It means the ability to avoid negative and disturbing emotions.
- Does not make you avoidance of emotional connection – It is the ability to stay calm and relaxed when in the company of stressful people.
The possession of this positive emotional detachment makes a person avoid stress, take care of his or her mental health, and keep healthier emotional connections. This affects personal relationships, day-to-day activities, and all aspects of life in a positive way.
Ask Yourself the Following Questions:
- Do you allow other people moods to affect your state of mind?
- Do you allow other people’s frustration, anger or emotions to affect you?
- How many times have you got emotionally involved with something against your will and better judgment?
- Do you get angry, frustrated or disappointed by trivial matters?
- Do you allow external matters to affect your state of mind and your feelings?
If you do, you need to develop a certain degree of detachment.
When it comes to personal matters, and to matters that involve the emotions, it is hard to avoid getting affected and emotionally involved.
It is difficult to stay calm when people criticize you or disrespect you. It is also difficult to stay calm when people speak about their problems or share their anxiety, stress or negative feeling with you.