An Open Letter To The Women Who Chose Not To Become A Mother

 September 22, 2017

An Open Letter To The Women Who Chose Not To Become A Mother.

I know you went through a lot to take this decision. People have been talking a lot of about you, in negative terms. They are mocking you, they are scolding you and above all, they are making you feel that you are not socially acceptable.

But I don’t believe in any one of them. The fact is, I feel proud of you because you as a woman chose not to have kids. I would like to congratulate you for taking the decision.

Trust me I do understand what you went through. It’s been extremely distressing after your marriage. It’s not even your first anniversary and you start hearing all sort of wrong things which probably got you repulsed from the idea of having kids.

You vomited that night because of indigestion. Your mother forced you to go for a pregnancy test while you knew yourself that it’s not the case.

Your mother-in-law keeps on showing pictures of the time when your husband was a baby. She keeps on telling you stories what she felt when she gave birth to him. You have listened to the tales of your husband’s growing up years nearly one hundred times. But you don’t feel the interest to raise a child of your own.

‘Don’t worry, you will slowly understand and tell us that you want kids!’

You keep on hearing this from your family and peers.

‘We want to see our grandchildren before we die,’ your parents say this every time you meet them.

‘Look at me, I am enjoying my motherhood,’ your friend is happy to drag you to stores for children.

‘Do you have children?’ your peers ask you.

You are criticised for all the wrong reasons. People you are close to, make you feel guilty; some even consider you as insane.

‘How can a man marry you if you don’t give him a child?’ your mother probably tells you when you think about getting married.

The idea of marrying someone is always equated to child-bearing and you are getting tired of that.

I know it’s difficult for you. People keep on misunderstanding you and misjudging you. So, I would like to tell you that it’s not your fault; you have done a good job by listening to your heart. Thank you.

Women like you make all of us proud. Kudos to you for understanding that bringing up a child is not your forte. Not everyone can do that. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love children. You probably enjoy being with children but raising one is not your cup of tea. You have understood that you have your dreams and it’s not possible for you to manage motherhood and professional life. Not everyone can do the balancing act.

This is probably the best thing you can do by deciding not to have a child. You have seen how your friends struggle. You know pretty well that no matter how your school friend Ella says she’s happy to be a mother, deep down, she wants to continue with her career as a singer; unfortunately, she can’t.

Leave a Reply