Do you feel motherhood has taken as much from you as it has given you? Or that you’re not a cut-out to be a mother? Welcome to the dark side of motherhood. You’re in for a ride!
Our society and popular culture have idealized and romanticized motherhood for a long time. You most probably have heard about how pregnant women glow, how motherhood can be the most fulfilling experience, or how bringing up your child will be the best job that you could have. But there’s a dark side of motherhood that hardly gets any attention.
Most probably you were never told about the sleepless nights, morning sickness, hormonal imbalance, mood swings, and other gory details that exist in the underbelly of motherhood. And neither were you prepped for the doubts, exhaustion, anxieties, guilt, regrets, and loneliness that accompany this seemingly delightful experience with zero drawbacks. Yes, there’s a dark side of motherhood that no one speaks of.
The truth about motherhood is that it can be a lot grimmer than what gets portrayed. The challenges and hardships involved during the different stages of motherhood can shake you to your core. Yes, giving birth to another life form is beautiful, and watching your child grow up into a full-fledged adult can be a very rewarding and joyful experience. But all the pleasures of motherhood cannot negate the fact that mothers often find themselves in the grasp of some very dark thoughts, feelings, and even behavior, regarding their children and motherhood in general.
Some Unfiltered Truths Of Motherhood
The darkest secrets of motherhood that always get swept under the rug are the negative feelings mothers have about themselves and their children. Most of the time, this emotionally distressing phase of motherhood is casually mentioned as “baby blue” and passed off as something that women should snap out of, on their own.
Whereas the reality is that the conflict of needs of a mother and her child engenders mixed feelings or some kind of ambivalence among mothers, in spite of them loving their children from the core of their hearts. This is the dark side of motherhood that no mother wants to admit.
Related: Find out what are the common things narcissistic mothers say
9 Motherhood Truths That No One Talks About
Now, let’s closely look at the hidden side of motherhood with the help of 9 commonly observed instances.
1. Regretting The Decision Of Motherhood
You very well might believe that your tiny bundle of joy is the best thing that happened to you, for the most part of the day. But getting up for a 2 am feed, when you have an early board meeting tomorrow, can seriously make you question your decision of motherhood. When you have to decline a girl’s night out with your friends for the umpteenth time, or when the bills just keep piling up, it’s natural to regret motherhood.
Especially when you are a young mother, you might end up regretting the timing or situation of your motherhood even more. What no one tells you about early motherhood is that you will end up missing your carefree days and secretly resenting your child. This dark side of motherhood remains a closely guarded secret among troubled moms.
2. Flashbacks Of Childhood Trauma
You must have been told that only after becoming a mother, you will be able to fully appreciate the sacrifices your parents made for you. While it might be true, in many cases it has been found that while caring for a newborn, a mother starts remembering her own dysfunctional upbringing and traumatic childhood experiences. It can reopen old wounds and make you think about whether you have it in you to be a good mother and provide a stable and nurturing home for your children.
3. Lack Of Patience For Other Children
A fussy toddler or a rebellious teenager can push your buttons in more ways than one. When your son talks back in the most annoying manner or when your daughter shuts you out completely, you are drained of patience and energy. You might still make yourself put up with your own kid’s delinquent behavior, but you might lose your temper with other children. If you’re someone who works with kids, like a teacher or a nurse, it can be especially difficult for you to remain calm and stable around unruly children.