Why A Woman Leaves The Man She Loves: What Men Need To Realize

Woman Leaves The Man She Loves What Men Need To Realize

A long-term, committed relationship can very easily turn into a toxic one and lead to a breakup or divorce if you start taking your partner for granted.

Why a committed relationship fails

With over 39% of marriages ending in divorce in the United States, it is high time that men start taking their relationships and their women seriously. Justice Schanfarber, a marriage counselor and certified Hakomi therapist, believes that one of the main reasons that most romantic relationships are failing today is because men tend to take their women for granted. 

Yes, committed relationships are complex as it is, but it is only by working together and being present for their partners will enable both men and women to overcome relationship crises. However, when men fail to express their love and don’t make their partner a priority, women leave men they love. With emotional neglect comes distance, and with distance comes emotional disconnection.

Read also: Taken For Granted? Here’s How To Make A Guy Realize He’s Losing You

Why A Woman Leaves The Man She Loves: What Men Need To Realize

Are men at fault?

You can be a loving, caring, and responsible husband and father, yet if you fail to acknowledge and appreciate your partner, she will eventually be compelled to leave you. And it is not easy for most women to leave the man they love. But they still do it even if it breaks their heart. Dedicated and committed women can leave their boyfriends or husbands, men, with whom they share homes, children, and lives. “They feel terrible about it. It tears their heart out of them. But they do it. They rally their courage and their resources and they leave,explains Justice Schanfarber.

Although a woman can leave for a number of reasons, the most important reason is perhaps these women don’t feel appreciated, recognized, or valued in the relationship. “Women leave because their man is not present,” writes Justice. She adds “These aren’t bad men. They’re good men. They’re good fathers. They support their family. They’re nice, likable. But they take their wife for granted. They’re not present.

So while you are working hard to meet deadlines at work, hanging out with your coworkers during happy hours, watching TV, playing video games, or golfing, your partner is feeling lonely, neglected and isolated. And that’s not how a committed relationship works. It requires you to commit yourself to your partner. It requires that you make them your top priority and balance your life in a way that enables you to focus on your and her needs equally.

Read also: 8 Tips To Stop Being Taken For Granted

“Women in my office tell me: ‘Someone could come and sweep me off my feet, right out from under my husband.’ Sometimes the realization scares them. Sometimes it makes them cry,” explains Justice.

Earn her love

It’s not about being right or wrong. Men, you have your right to enjoy solitude and to enjoy some time alone. But when it comes to the cost of your partner feeling neglected or unloved, then you need to pull up your socks and take notice. It’s not about feeling offended or hurt or angry. Instead, this is about realizing the truth and how your actions and behavior can affect your partner, the person you promised to love and take care of in this committed relationship.

Why A Woman Leaves The Man She Loves: What Men Need To Realize

Justice writes “Your wife is not your property. She does not owe you her soul.” She adds “You earn it. Day by day, moment after moment. You win her over first and foremost with your presence, your aliveness. She needs to feel it. She wants to talk to you about what matters to her and to feel that you’re listening to her.

What she wants is to experience the same passion that you had at the beginning of this committed relationship. One of the very first things you can do to get started with ‘fixing’ your relationship is to start listening to her again. Really listen to what she is trying to tell you and make you understand. Give her your undivided attention and show her how much you love her. However, with our busy lives and constant distractions, it is not always possible to give your partner your full attention even if you want to. So what should you do?

Read also: 5 Risks You Must Take To Strengthen Your Relationship With Her

How about five minutes?” asks Justice. She explains “Five minutes a day. Will you commit to that? I’m not talking about extravagant dinners or date nights. I’m talking about five minutes a day to be completely present with the woman you share your life with.” 

51 thoughts on “Why A Woman Leaves The Man She Loves: What Men Need To Realize”

  1. So what if you listen to your partner, do what she is asking then becomes vile to you when you think your helping???
    It’s not always the man who makes life difficult, and I’m getting a little frustrated at all these blogs that see it from only a woman’s perspective…..
    I love my partner to bits, but when you get to the point that you just don’t know what to do for the best as it will always probably be wrong how is a guy supposed to deal with that, being accused of being insensitive, uncaring, and thoughtless when I have done exactly what she has wanted through listening to her needs…. please tell me

  2. Try to understand the small changes in the partner and talking it through can help. Problems or issues raise only from the small changes in the partner which we don’t notice and then they grow into a bigger one.

  3. Darren Wheeler

    I think the biggest problem is that people forget how to love unconditionally. love is not …. if you do this for me I will do this for you.

  4. I have been married for 45 yrs., and my husbands favorite response, if I even in so much as speak is”Shut the fuck up”. When he dies I would never ever remarry again. What a crock of shit women go through just to procreate. Next life a sperm doner will do just fine!!!

  5. I’ve found this to be true in both genders! I’ve left my exes for many reasons as you’ve stated, and many others I’d prefer not to say, my exes have also left me for the same reasons as this! Now I’ve found my everything! I feel that all you have stated is happening in my relationship! I also get that the man must make a living, I get that I can’t have the best of both worlds also! But I for one would be quite happy to live in a cardboard box if it meant living every day, living and breathing in his presence… Yes I know! I’m in love! For the first time! This is true… Please know… Men… You don’t have to continue making that living, unless of course you don’t want to continue living! Men and woman are the same! They NEED love, commitment, adoration and yes! Sex, love making… If you feel that someone else could come in and sweep you off your feet! Leave! Now would be a good time! Live and let live! I say ?

  6. Woman are selfish – you can give them the world and be there for them all the time but it means nothing to them unfortunately.

    1. That is simply not true. Unless you define “the world” in material goods, and “being there for her” as bringing home a paycheck and being physically in the same room. Those things do mean nothing. Giving her your whole self and being there emotionally and spiritually fit her means everything. Are there selfish, uncaring women in the world? Oh course. But your statement is patently untrue about most women. Perhaps the problem is your definition of what it looks like to “give her the world” and “be there fit her”. Or you have very poor taste in women.

  7. What pisses me off the most is that my bf comes home from work and we sit on the couch all night and he plays fifa or we watch tv or he plays on his phone, I try to make conversation but he only tells me about what pissed him off at work and never listens to what I want to say or get off my chest. No, wait this is what bothers me the most: when he wants to have sex he just grabs my crotch and starts rubbing through my pants it like I would get turned on by this (not even in a sensual way but like a stupid pet your dog way). I told him soooo many times I don’t get horny from that, it’s fucking annoying, childish, not sexy and stupid and I need some real foreplay. he stops doing this for a few weeks and then does it again and again. He wonders why I don’t wanna have sex but whenever he does this shit it ruins everything for me. He is the best guy in bed but I get so turned off by this shit it’s ridiculous, it was ok at first whatever but now he expects me to spread my legs just because he wants to fuck. I can’t stand it anymore

    1. So say goodbye. You aren’t even married. If he has so little respect for you that he treats you like a whore he is paying (which is what he is doing) and refusing to listen and learn about you, then leave. That is not a relationship that gets any better than it is right now.

  8. What you spoken is exactly correct….It shouldn’t be one sided. It should come from both ends. The main problem with men is that they feel that they Become emotionally weak, when they come closer n colser to person they love to the deepest of their soul. They carry hell lot of problems, for themselves and try to keep their loved ones happy. They don’t spill the beans and don’t want to put her in trouble as well. So they don’t make eye to eye contact and don’t spend much time. As they are sacred to heart, that they don’t want burend her with problems they are going through out in world. Women are also interested to listen all this shit and all they want to hang out shop and blah blah blah. And all thy want their man to nod their head and listen what they talk…. This what I have experienced in many cases and its personal experience.

  9. They sometimes leave cos they simply love the perks and secured lifestyle of the rich and capable.

    Guys like me would do everything to be around their girl,but then…the surplus time investment leads to slower financial development.

    Girls should understand that they can’t have the best of both worlds!

  10. chilidren1st, grandchildren 2nd, mother & father 3rd, sister&brother 4th, friends 5th, aquaintances 6th, husband last in line

  11. look load of rubbish… Women are equally to blame.. Some have affairs with work colleagues and then start blaming there partners.. it the blame game they play, rather twisted mind set goes side by side.. I seen plenty in my time…

  12. So…..Person A “loves” person B. Person B “loves” person A. Person A leaves person B because they dont like the way person B “loves” them. Hmmmm. Doesn’t sound like person A really loves person B to me. And this article seems to blame that on person B?
    Ok I am just going to say this. I am a man and I think this is the way many women think and I dont believe it is right, but it is a reality that needs to be dealt with.

    1. In The Minds Journal reply, “it states that this is a councelers report in which HE too states very clearly” So this report WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN!!!

  13. Yah, I 2nd the other comment “I’d rather be alone”.

    Most women are miserable/fickle creatures and no amount of ‘making them happy’ will have any lasting effect and will likely be a massive waste of a man’s time and energy.

  14. No offense to anyone but i feel like Minds Journal is quite sexist. Most of your articles are very one-sided towards women. Leaving men unaddressed or usually labelled as evil. Whats worse is you are actually feeding those people who fight one-sided wars under some self-serving excuse for the greater cause.
    Fight for people. Not genders!!!

    You call yourselves Mind Journal and I expect you to know what you are feeding people’s mind. If admin cant control these emotions, perhaps having a male admin and a female admin will help. Its sad that this had to be proposed but men read these articles and feel bad about themselves while the other gender is happy! Isnt that what we are fighting against?!!?!! You are corrupting the message. This is as wrong.

    1. The minds journal stated clearly on top of the article that “This is worth a read for every man and every woman in or outside a relationship.
      It might change the way you think about your life partner.”
      Please note I am using the term “life partner” and not wife/husband. Also this article is a counselors report in which he too states very clearly (which I have highlighted too) that this applies to both the partners.
      It’s not about a gender fight here, it’s about getting the message right that surely does apply to both of them.
      Why not focus on the bigger picture instead.

    2. You pretty much just said what i wrote up there. Once again, your message for the bigger picture is noble and i am all for it but you are not delivering it right. This is one example but i can show you countless videos that you post where men are clearly left behind. It also reflects in the comment section.
      Im not focusing on the bigger picture because your message doesnt tell me to look at the bigger picture. All it tells me is that women think men are worthless. Thats your message.

    3. And look at the comment section on how many people are mentioning gender-specifications and so on. Had your message been clear, it wouldnt have made me and other people feel the way we are right now.

    4. All im asking is for you to stick to your original bigger picture and keep gender neutrality in mind when you make those kind of big posts about article. You have no idea how your words are powerful to the minds of the younger generation. Just be careful.


    5. That’s exactly it. Ive been seeing this too much lately. Its like fighting fire with fire. Start using words such as “people” “human” instead of saying “every male” “every female”. Your message is so wrong.

  15. Could be both ways at time women are not present…at times men…jss depends on the person whos who…usually one cares a lot while other takes it for granted…if they bth can bring out the balance within even after this…it will surpass everythin els…

    1. That’s exactly correct…. The whole post sounds bullish oneside n senseless.. With your comment or reply to it

  16. I agree a great article… But I can’t help thinking: I’ve left women for very similar reasons, I don’t recall any of them going fishing but are the points really specific to men? Maybe I’m just an odd-ball? I can live with that.

  17. A good and accurate article IMHO. ”He stopped caring so I stopped trying.” (me), but then, this particular ex was disordered/toxic, so a split was on the cards from day 1.

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