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Relationship With A Vulnerable Narcissist

The inflated image they project masks an underlying insecurity.

Narcissists relate to others in some highly problematic ways.The very manner in which they perceive themselves and look upon others impairs true intimacy and depth in relationships. Narcissists come in two main varieties. (See:  Ways Vulnerable Narcissists Relate.) And relationships with the vulnerable narcissists can be particularly challenging when it comes to intimacy

What Vulnerable Narcissists Crave

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Some call vulnerable narcissists the “compensatory” type. That’s because the inflated image they project masks an underlying insecurity.

In their insecurity,

  • they seek to be admired.
  • they frequently fish for recognition and praise.
  • they seem to need constant reassurance.
  • and they constantly compare themselves to others.
  • It matters to them how you think they stack up against the competition.
  • And they’re not happy unless they think they’re at the top of the heap.

Relationships with any narcissist suffer because it’s always about them. They’re so wrapped up in themselves and their desires that there’s no room to consider others. And because they can’t really concern themselves with you or your needs, intimacy suffers.

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What Vulnerable Narcissists’ Relationship Partners Crave

From our earliest days, we humans crave intimacy. Infants can’t even thrive without close physical and emotional contact. And this need for human “connection” never goes away. In fact, our need intimacy needs only appears to grow over our lifetimes. The biggest single complaint hurting relationship partners have is a loss of closeness.

Pay attention to them or give them positive strokes, and vulnerable narcissists can act like they really value you.

But ask something of them – especially caring concern for your wants and needs, and it’s another matter entirely. They don’t know how to be close. That’s because they don’t know how to care. They can’t step outside themselves and their own wants and needs. And that means they can’t concern themselves with the needs of another. This leaves their relationship partners starving for affection.

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Written by Dr. George Simon
Originally appeared on Dr. George Simon

Folks can contact the author best by going to the blog at: Dr. George Simon – Author, Public Speaker, Consultant, Character Development Coach, Composer and using the “Contact Dr. Simon” tab on the contact page.

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Dr George Simonhttps://www.drgeorgesimon.com/
Dr. Simon is an internationally-recognized expert on manipulators and other problem characters and the author of 3 bestselling books: In Sheep’s Clothing (which has been translated into 12 foreign languages), Character Disturbance, and The Judas Syndrome. He’s made appearances on several major television (Fox News Network, CNN, CBS 48 Hours) and radio programs and is also the host of a weekly internet program on UCY.TV called Character Matters. The interview with Bill O’Reilly that helped launch his first book as well as some of his other interviews can be viewed by clicking on the media tab of the blog menu bar. Dr. Simon’s work is also featured on other international sites, including some great resources for information on disturbances of character. Visit: http://www.evah.org/ and http://psychopathy101.wordpress.com/
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