“Your soul pulls me into your knot of the web,
The end of your thread tangles with my hair.
You sit outside in the open with your senses spread;
While I watch you from my veranda;
Soaking your aura into my mind and heart space.”
We have all loved and lost, and with time and maturity learned to bear the pain and let go.
The question of what is and what could have gone right always plays in the back of our mind. No matter how much time tumbles and newer experiences and perspectives clashes, some incidents and people in life remain the milestones in life. Unrequited love is such a phenomenon. While the feeling of love is a beautiful feeling, when it is not returned the feeling can be bittersweet. For most people who have fallen in unrequited love, will agree the experience is soul churning. The feeling of unrequited love is intensely painful. The experience can be destructive as well as constructive. It is like the metamorphosis. The person before and after the experience becomes different. The soul goes through various stages of blossoming and wilting, and the resultant soul though transformed and spiritually enriched still in some form or the other yearns for that love that it could not have.
The highs and lows,
The pendulum swings in tandem with the upheavals of my marrows and bones,
The bones and vessels and churns and fries;
And from the ashes arise;
Your essence that odors not like mine.
Many eulogies, poetries, and music have been made glorifying the unrequited love. But the person going through it only knows how taxing it is on one’s psyche. You become addicted to that love and lover. You know he does not love you. You cannot be with each other. But still, the reality and practicality do not stop you from fantasizing about that love and lover who does not give you a second from his precious schedule. You know he loves another girl, he spends his time writing about her in his sacred diary, he plans holidays with her, and he gobbles pastries and fries with her. But when you ask him if he can make some time for you, he hesitates and makes excuses. However, all these never stop you from seeking him out. Just a glimpse from him, the shortest of text and his Facebook updates in your newsfeed rejuvenates you. He is like that forbidden puff of cocaine that you know is not good for your health, but you are a slave of your addiction. Unrequited love sucks the energy off your system, making you look like a deflated balloon.
“My Master, my enchanter you are;
I bow in front of you whenever I can”
From a spiritual perspective, it is said your soul may have known this person in your past life.
In your past life, maybe you have been lovers or had an unresolved issue. It is for this reason that he seems familiar to you in this life. You would see many of his traits and habits matches your own in a weird way that shocks the hell out of you. His soul will seem familiar to you because you have met him before. But if you become dependent upon him or cling to him emotionally and otherwise, your growth as a ‘human being’ and ‘deity’ is stunted.
“Arise I will from the flames and ashes;
With new wings and colors that matches every coexistence”
The first step towards a new change begins with the simple acknowledgment: He is not meant for you, in this lifetime at least.
Give yourself some time. The initial days will be the most difficult. It’s like a spell has been cast on you that you have to snap. Become a recluse for some time. There is no harm in going off the radar for some days. Spend time with just yourself and your thoughts. Rather than thinking about the similarities you have with this person, think about the dissimilarities. Think about the changes that you have been through. How sad, frustrated and more than that the situation taxes and tires you. After some time when you get back to civilization, make time for a new hobby. As time passes you will see, your urge of having him declines. And gradually you will see he is just another person. He is not supposed to be put on a pedestal that you have put him upon. Let go of the toxicities and welcome new happier energies in life. The universe will gift you with a new love, who loves and respects you without any toxicity and extremities.