Have you ever struggled with the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back? It might be hard, but you can recover from this.
I loved him. I loved him so deeply that I learned his schedule and I stalked his social media page. I know this is an unhealthy measure, but…I loved him.
Things have changed now, and the memory of him is faded. I do, however, remember what it felt like to fall for someone who barely knew I existed. It was always empty inside and I was hungry for his affection that never came.
I mean, loving someone who doesn’t love you, is like loving a ghost.
It’s suffocating and it devours your entire life. It seems every moment is used in planning how to win that person over. Unfortunately, for many of us, we just don’t get it.
So, if you’ve found yourself in this predicament, loving who doesn’t share the same feelings, then what should you do?
Here are a few suggestions.
1. Let’s suppose the one you love does, in fact, know what you feel for them.
But also suppose, that they don’t feel the same way. You have been rejected. This can be devastating, and it will take some time to understand what happened. In cases of rejection, you must keep one thing in mind, this will not last or, even better, something more substantial may come along-another door may open as this one is closing. Keep the faith.
Want to know more about how you can move on from someone you like? Read When You Love Someone Who Can’t Accept Love
2. Try looking at the situation in another light.
Ask yourself an important question about your recent crush-“Would you have rather not loved them at all?” I guess this is a question you will never be able to answer, truly.
But look at it this way, you had the opportunity to dream and fantasize about someone whom you thought was beautiful. You felt butterflies in your stomach, even when you were the only one who felt them.
I think it was worth it, don’t you? Think about it, smile, and then move on. It’s healthy that way.
Alfred Lord Tennyson said,
“Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”
Want to know more about why unreciprocated feelings are good for you? Read 6 Reasons Why Unrequited Love Is Good For You
3. It might be hard for you to see it this way, but remember one thing:
Unrequited love hurts the rejecter as well. What? You heard me right. Those who feel they have to reject another suffer from guilt. They do not enjoy letting someone down or hurting their feelings. That person you have feelings for, yeah, they may be a genuinely good person who only wishes to be honest with you.
Looking to know more about how you should always express your feelings? Read 8 Reasons Why You Must Tell Someone You Like Them
4. Analyze the situation, the next time you find yourself in unrequited love situations, ask yourself this question: “Is this a pattern?”
Well, I suppose if you keep doing this, it’s obviously more than just a random incident. Are your patterns of loving the unattainable, simply projections from childhood neglect or something similar?
Dig deep, see if something in the past is making you cling to those who will not or cannot love you back.
5. Also, do not panic.
You are not alone in this situation. Like I said before, I was there, I did that and I bought the t-shirt. In fact, over 90% of us have fallen for someone before with no hope of having those feelings reciprocated in return.
It doesn’t mean you are a freak or weirdo, it just means you feel something where the other person does not, maybe just hasn’t thought about it. In rare cases, unreciprocated feelings eventually get returned! Now that’s an idea. But don’t force it!