I loved him. I loved him so deeply that I learned his schedule and I stalked his social media page. I know, this is an unhealthy measure, but….I loved him.
Things have changed now, and the memory of him is faded. I do, however, remember what it felt like to love someone who barely knew I existed. It was always empty inside and I was hungry for his the affection that never came.
I mean, loving someone who doesn’t love you, is like loving a ghost.
It’s suffocating and it devours your entire life. It seems every moment is used on planning how to win that love. Unfortunately, for many of us, we just don’t get it.
So, if you’ve found yourself in this predicament, loving with and unreciprocated love, then what should you do?
Here’s a few suggestions.
1. Let’s suppose the one you love does, in fact, know you love them.
But also suppose, that they don’t feel the same way. You have been rejected. This can be devastating, and it will take some time to understand what happened. In cases of rejection, you must keep one thing in mind, this will not last or, even better, something more substantial may come along-another door may open as this one is closing. Keep the faith.
2. Try looking at the situation in another light.
Ask yourself an important question about your recent crush-“Would you have rather not loved them at all?” I guess this is a question you will never be able to answer, truly. But look at it this way, you had the opportunity to dream and fantasize about someone whom you thought was beautiful. You felt butterflies in your stomach, even when you were the only one who felt them. I think it was worth it, don’t you? Think about it, smile and then move on. It’s healthy that way.
Alfred Lord Tennyson said,
“Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”
3. It might be hard for you to see it this way, but remember one thing:
Unrequited love hurts the rejecter as well. What? You heard me right. Those who feel they have to reject another suffer from guilt. They do not enjoy letting someone down or hurting their feelings. That person you love, yeah, they may be a genuinely good person who only wishes to be honest with you.
4. Analyze the situation, the next time you find yourself in unrequited love situations, ask yourself this question: “Is this a pattern?”
Well, I suppose if you keep doing this, it’s obviously more than just a random incident. Are your patterns of loving the unattainable, simply projections from childhood neglect or something similar? Dig deep, see if something in the past is making you cling to those who will not or cannot love you back.
5. Also, do not panic.
You are not alone in this situation. Like I said before, I was there, I did that and I bought the t-shirt. In fact, over 90% of us have loved before with no hope of love in return. It doesn’t mean you are a freak or weirdo, it just means you feel something where the other person does not, maybe just hasn’t thought about it. In rare cases, unreciprocated love eventually gets returned! Now that’s an idea. But don’t force it!
6. Okay, I hate to mention this one, but it needs to be addressed.
Sometimes when you love someone that doesn’t love you back, it can cause depression or anxiety. In this case, you may need to seek therapy in order to heal from the hurt. This is not a joke, and anyone who makes fun of these situations have never been truly hurt this badly. Unreciprocated love can hurt deep, and sometimes you will need help to overcome the hurt.
So Let’s Start The Healing Process
So let’s say, if you love him, like I loved my crush, then it will be a long road to recovery. I can’t explain why we fall so hard, and especially why we fall for the unattainable, but I can say this: it will get better. Never be ashamed of who you love or why you love, it all comes from the heart.
If you are in love and not being loved, then it’s okay. These ideas and steps will help you get back to your old self again, start over and wait for the other doors to open. Behind one of those doors is someone who will love you back.