12 Toxic Thoughts You Need To Drop For A Better Life

Toxic Thoughts Need To Drop Better Life

In order to be truly happy, and have a better life, the best thing you can do is drop all those toxic thoughts that swirl around in your mind non-stop. If you want to feel genuinely happy and content with how your life is, then drop all those negative and toxic thoughts that are holding you back.

One of my mottos is “Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life!” I’m a big believer that our thoughts and emotions shape our experiences. The problem is that most people aren’t even aware of their negative thoughts. It’s almost like they have just become a habit, so it seems normal to them.

Here Are 12 Toxic Thoughts You Need To Drop For A Better Life

1. Thinking that you are a victim.

You’re not a victim. So stop blaming other people or your circumstances for your problems. Just because you don’t like where you are now doesn’t mean that you can’t take personal responsibility to change it for the better. So get rid of that victim-mentality because it doesn’t help anything. In fact, it acts as an obstacle to success. Realize that you, and only you, are responsible for your destiny.

Related: Toxic Shame: How Internalized Shame Alters Our Self-Image

2. Thinking that you can change other people.

You can’t. I had to learn this the hard way. There was a time in my life when I thought I could “motivate” and “inspire” people to be their best selves. It took me a while to realize that the only thing that can change other people is themselves. If they don’t want to change—or don’t know how—then all of your efforts will be wasted.

So don’t worry about other people. If you don’t like them “as is,” then you have the choice to not hang out with them anymore. But you don’t have the right to change them.

3. Thoughts that constantly resist “What Is.”

Some things you can change. In fact, a LOT of things you can change. You can lose weight. You can find a better job. You can go back to school. You can work on your marriage. But there are some things you can’t change. Those things are simply “what is.”

You can’t change that your boss is a jerk. You can change jobs, but you can’t change your boss. You can’t change the fact that you have to pay rent or your mortgage. But you can stop resisting it.

Resisting the unchangeable does nothing more than frustrate you and make you miserable. So change what you can, and accept what you can’t.

4. Thinking that “The grass is always greener on the other side.”

“If only I was as pretty as that girl, then I’d be happy.”  Or “If only I was as rich as that guy, then I’d be happy.” Those kinds of thoughts aren’t true. Just because you think someone else has it better than you doesn’t mean they do. Maybe the pretty girl came from an abusive home and can’t get her life in order. And maybe the rich guy spends so much time at work that he never gets to see his family.

The grass is not greener on the other side. So appreciate the grass you have. It’s your grass. So love it.

Related: 7 Toxic Thoughts To Get Rid Of As You Get Older and What To Think Instead

5. Having expectations of other people.

Expectations can be deadly to happiness, even if you think your expectation is reasonable, such as having your roommate or spouse do his/her share of the chores around the house. Just because you expect it doesn’t mean they will do it.

Realize that your expectations come from your personal experiences and biases. They are not necessarily other people’s priorities. You probably don’t like being expected to do things that you don’t want to do, so don’t impose your expectations on others. If you don’t like their behavior, either accept it or move on.

6. Thinking that having a significant other will complete you.

If you are not a whole person already, then having a romantic partner will not make you whole. Plus, it puts a lot of pressure on the other person to “make you happy.” You need to be happy with yourself with or without someone. Having a significant other doesn’t make you happier. Only you can make yourself happy.

Toxic Thoughts You Need To Drop

6 thoughts on “12 Toxic Thoughts You Need To Drop For A Better Life”

  1. Avatar of Charity

    Many of the things you’re saying are false… Others can certainly add to your happiness, ESPECIALLY a spouse, and if they love you and care about you, they’d want to do so. You are only responsible for so much, not all of it. Service to others is a great way to be happy because the way to truly be happy is you love others which entails making others happy. In the case of a spouse, they truly can either make you really happy or really miserable depending upon if they live correct principles of love. Spouses are supposed to become one… They’re supposed to strive together to be better, learn each other’s hearts and by doing so, they BECOME each other’s soul mates. You don’t find a soul mate… Marriage is the way to learn selfless love and what joy and pure happiness that would that bring if both can do so. That is the whole meaning to and what is intended for marriage. Just because you have a degree, it doesn’t make you right. And I fully believe you can expect others to change for the better for YOUR sake. That’s part of the give and take of a relationship. Don’t do this and the relationship gets hurt, damaged. Healthy relationships comes from caring about the other person and how your choices affect them. This doesn’t mean that each person has to do what the other person wants but it does mean to respect their feelings and needs which is part of what it means to respect the person. This is part of what it means to do what is right and good. This is part of loving someone. Treat people like you want to be treated and you’ll go far in relationships. You’ll reach depths in happiness that can’t be attained in other ways. The things you’re saying are only half right. You’re missing the other very important halves. True you can’t change people but you certainly can try to persuade them, not for selfish reasons but for your sake and well-being or for theirs. If I know a family member or a friend is about to make a bad decision, you bet I’ll say something because that’s love. Helping someone change their course if they are heading down a path that will bring misery or sorrow is done because of love. I’m sorry but it looks as though you don’t know what love really is… or what it actually means. I’m not trying to attack you. I’m just trying to defend truth. This is too widely accepted as truth. Please don’t respond for I won’t read anything posted because I don’t want contention or conflict. I sincerely hope you’ll give thought to my words. Bless you for trying to help others. I just think it’s a bit misguided.

  2. Avatar of hedwin

    agree, but it is easier said that done. It help though if there is sometime that can be used to refocus.

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