Things You Will Understand When You Are Ambitious But Also So, So Lazy

If you ask me, I’ll tell you that I’m one of the smartest people in my fields of expertise. (These fields would be designing, architecture and writing. Well… also sleeping and procrastinating, but let’s ignore those.)

I am also perhaps one of those who could save this world: I have, at multiple points of time, thought up bizarre strategies and solutions to international, social problems, created many utopian worlds that will never have petty problems like World Peace, and even drafted theories that prove that aliens exist (and that they look like humans) and also that they absolutely don’t.

The only reason I can’t provide concrete, bibliographic references is just because… well, stuff happened. (Read: I was − kind of − sleepy.)

Over years (of “lying in my bed and cooking up theories” is not serious enough to appear professional − um, yeah, let us go with− ) of intense, analytical thinking,

I have discovered that my working process has a series of typical stages in itself.

Stage 1 – (Mis)Perception Of Time

The whole process starts with the allotment of responsibility (or in other words, an assignment or a job). With every responsibility, there is always a deadline. Say, a design project with its due date scheduled a month later (or a writing job due to being submitted after five days).

Since I feel fairly confident about these, I find the allotted time a bit exaggerated. So I set aside, what I think, is the amount of time I’ll really need: one week (the last one, in case, you were curious), and use the remaining time to indulge in something I am interested in: Like re-reading James And The Giant Peach − because, how can you not?

Stage 2 – Develop A Figurative Paralysis.

At the end of the ‘free’ three weeks, the first day of the ‘working’ fourth week finds me sprawled out on the bed. Or couch. Or even upon the floor sometimes. This is the vital stage when all the ambitious thinking takes place.

While finding the strength to rise and begin work, I’ll have all sorts of innovative ideas. Both, work-related: user-friendly solutions, eco-friendly solutions, creative façade development and what not; and non-work related: the aforementioned theories at the beginning that I am honestly quite proud of.

Anyway, the fact doesn’t change. The last week is here and I’m paralyzed by unwillingness.

Stage 3 – Racing Against Time… Like A Pro.

With one day down, and the time ticking (and also my peers asking me doubts about the same assignment that begin to sound like cryptic codes), I’ll shake myself up and eventually begin it. On the first day of working (a.k.a. the second day of the week), I’ll still have the ambitious ideas from the Stage 3. I’ll work vigorously and be utterly proud of the amount of work I can complete in one day − positive about the whole thing. I seem to reach my highest potential here as I multitask and finish things in record time.

Everything seems great at this phase. I’ll even be ready to repair my laptop in the event that it hangs, because, hey, I told you already that I was a genius. I’m nothing less than Wonder Woman in this stage. Anyone who doesn’t agree can safely expect to be hit by something from the other world.

Stage 4 – Realise The Misperception.

In spite of the superpowers, I do end up working the entire night on the last day of the last week. I undergo all the Five Stages Of Grief, multiple figurative cardiac arrests, blood pressure fluctuations, and an unhealthy amount of anxiety.