The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With

What could be the pain of being in love with someone you can never have? Read to know.

There is another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never have.

Love is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it’s the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with.

It’s odd how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. But that’s what makes love so beautiful – it’s the closest thing to perfection that exists in the world, the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil, beautiful and ugly.

It’s the closest thing to a flawless whole that man has ever claimed to have been part of.

When we think of love, we think of the happy kind of love, the kind that is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life.

There is, however, another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never and will never have.

The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With

It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.

Contrary to popular belief or popular wishful thinking, love doesn’t always end happily. It doesn’t always result in the joining of two people, the fusing of two lives into one.

Sometimes, on rare occasions, it results in the wedging apart of the two who love each other the most. You can love someone with all your soul and never get a chance to be with that person. Even worse, you can know that you love him or her, understanding there is no possibility that the two of you will ever be together.

Some people cannot and will not ever end up together, even if they do love each other. It’s a sad truth, but a truth, nonetheless.

The fact is, love is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories, and movies you’ve heard and watched growing up, lied to you. Love is never enough because love is not rational.

You hear that love is irrational all the time, yet you still hear the same people saying that love is enough to keep two people together.

Unfortunately, we live in a world governed by rationality, and while love may be irrational, and we may manage to make it work for some time, the real world always catches up with us and our irrational illusions dissipate into thin air.

Then we are left with reality and reality doesn’t always reason the way lovers do.

Some people don’t work out together. They have habits or beliefs that make it impossible to co-habitate with the person they love. There isn’t a couple out there that loves every little thing about one another.

Sure, they may find certain quirks cute or unique, but they don’t love them; they simply accept them. There are some people who have such habits, tendencies, or thinking patterns that really do make them incompatible with the other person.

The two may love each other fully because remember, love isn’t rational, yet not be able to live and deal with each other forever. This is why relationships require compromise.

You’re not going to love everything about the person you are with, but you love enough about him or her to live with the things you don’t love. Not all people are willing to, or even able to, compromise. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, regardless of what our emotions tell us.

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Amy Sharp (Amys)
Amy Sharp is a freelance writer, who is also a Guest Professor in The Mentor.
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  1. @ Sious, that's so sweet and beautiful. hope you guys will meet in the next life. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 11 month. it felt like 11 years. when I meet him, I've never felt the way I felt before with any other guy. the instant connection, smiles, laughs and spending quality time together over weekends as we lived in different cities. we had our challenges but the connection I had with him, sense of belonging made me hold on and believe that, the storm will pass. I tried everything to make him see how much I love him, how I would love for him to do the things which would make me happy but he told, he cannot do any of those things. I told myself, hold on, it'll get better. instead it got worse. emotionally I was bleeding, hurting and doubted the relationship because, he spoke of his ex, made reference to them about our relationships, he swore at me and I took the pain and smiled. he was never sincere in his apologies. I could feel that, he was just saying it. I tried to be strong even broke up with him twice but that didn't change who he was. I told him that, the issue of him speaking about his ex and making reference to them about our relationship is not healthy and I do not like it but he saw no issue with that. I cried a lot of times not understanding how can someone I love do this to me, someone I'm connected to emotionally. unfortunately no answer came through. I spent hours, daily , weeks being emotionally torn apart. I suggested we go for counselling and he said he was scared and sensed that, he is loosing me and I said I will never go. I want to fix our relationship. he was indenial until he came through for one session. He spoke without fear and indicated that, I'm too demanding and always looking for problems were there aren't. I asked, why he chooses to go to a party when we could be home resolving our issues, but I got the same answer I got the first time, I'm looking for problems were there aren't. after seeing that, I'm not getting anywhere with this guy, I decided to leave and told him that, I'm leaving because, I'm not appreciated and taken advantage off. but funny enough, a part of me wishes, he could see the wrongs he did and come back but my mind says, he will never come back and will never apologise because he saw no issues of all that affected me in the relationship and the doing he did. how do I move on

  2. This post is beautiful. For those who says love does not hurt or it is not love, you are wrong. It can cause an emotional hurt. Forty years ago I lost the love of my life, my twin flame/soulmate to suicide. I loved him so so much. Every once in a rare while he visits me in my dreams, but I am always half awake, so I know he is really here. Very early this morning as I was waking he came, gave me one of his huge bear hugs and sang softly in my ear, James Taylor's How Sweet it is to be loved by you. We walked and talked, he broke down in tears, we hugged some more, he made me breakfast and then had to go. I am so happy but it sure does hurt that I cannot be with him until I cross over as well. My heart is always yearning for a love that I know exists, across time and dimensions, but I cannot physically touch or kiss. I go to sleep at night alone, no body next to mine. That hurts. But I still smile because I know that he loves me too. One day we will be together again and our broken hearts will be healed and one again. There is no power greater than love. <3