Successful Women Dating: What Is It Like Dating A Successful Woman: Some Myths and Realities

 / 

, , ,
Successful Women Dating

There’s this perception that men tend to have a hard time dating and being in a relationship with successful women. What is the real truth about this? Do successful women dating issues a myth or reality?

Do Smart Men Really Marry Down?

About 14 years ago, the psyches of successful single women were singed with worry when journalist John Schwartz wrote a New York Times article titled “Glass Ceiling at Altar as Well as Bedroom.” He claimed that “men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses.”

The following year, Maureen Dowd followed with another Times column (and a book, Are Men Necessary?), agreeing with Schwartz. The authors’ clear thesis: Men prefer to marry down. Since then the media have continued with this narrative lending credence to the successful women dating blues.

Many of the college-educated, professional, or financially successful women in our coaching program worry that they are overqualified for love. Some think it best to hide their success when they meet a guy.

Others feel like they have to hold on to the one DUD they’ve got, even though he is not working out because their chances out there are not good. This is true even for twenty-somethings like Jo, who works in the financial sector. “It’s simple; I feel nervous talking about work on a first date.”

Related: 9 Signs of An Untouchable And Unapologetically Powerful Woman

Successful Women Dating: Separating Myth from Fact

Both Schwartz and Dowd relied on one study to support their claims. Let’s scrutinize this study, which was published in the Journal of Evolution and Human Behavior. Researchers tested 120 male undergraduates by asking them to rate their attraction to a photo of a woman who was described as a “supervisor,” “co-worker,” or “assistant.”

When it came to dating or marriage, these undergraduates indicated that they were more attracted to the “assistants.” That’s it. From this study of undergraduates, the authors concluded that men prefer non-threatening women as life partners.

The research has at least four serious flaws. To begin with, this was a study of students at a university, not men who were at an age where they would normally be choosing a mate. Second, there were only 120 subjects, not an especially large sample from which to draw such sweeping conclusions.

Third, the “supervisor” was described as someone who has “responsibility for disciplining absence or poor performance on your part, for rewarding reliable or creative performance.” These young men were rejecting a woman who had hypothetical control over their careers! They were not rejecting a woman who was simply described as powerful.

Finally, the study’s design was all in relation to a photo with no real interaction. In conversation, brighter women might easily have an edge in relating to smart men. By all clinical and research accounts (as you’ll soon see), intelligence and intelligent conversation play pretty important roles in mate selection! In short, Schwartz and Dowd’s premise about successful women dating is built on a house of cards.

successful women dating
Do successful women marry down

Do Successful Men Marry Down? Absolutely Not

Is the notion that successful men tend to marry down borne out by other research? The answer is a resounding “No.” Many studies of mate selection conducted around the world find that the rule of homogamy applies. That is, spouses tend to show similar educational achievements! They also marry partners who are similar in attitudes, religion, and values.

In the last thirty years, as women have become better educated, they have tended to marry educated men. This trend has replaced the historical pattern where, because of a lack of educational opportunities, women were more prone to marry the more educated males. That is, to marry up. Today, because people spend so much time in school, they deliberately look for partners in college or graduate school.

Researchers Blossfeld and Tim, who have studied homogamy for over a decade, found that educational homogamy rates have increased over the last century. For women in their forties in the U.S., over half, 51 percent, married a partner with the same degree.

Only 27 percent married up and 21 percent married down. Education has changed our society, and women have not been hurt by this. In fact, they are the primary benefactors. So successful women should go into dating with confidence.

Related: 4 Alpha Traits In Women That Make Men Fall Deeply In Love With Them

Recent Global Studies on Mate Selection

Two studies conducted in Europe and Australia show that smart men prefer smart women and are happier for it. First, in a study of educational homogamy in marriage in 22 countries, 14 countries showed a strong tendency toward homogamy. While in seven, the men actually married up! Second, the Australian study on 5,000 subjects revealed that men who married educated women are happier than those who partnered with uneducated ones.

Furthermore, the author concluded that a man’s happiness level grew by 8 percent for each year of his wife’s post-high-school education. So a college graduate brought her man 32 percent more happiness than a high school grad. Solid research conducted around the world shows that the more educated women have become, the more attractive they are to the opposite sex.

A 2017 study shows that women with advanced degrees now outnumber guys at the same educational level. These researchers looked at U.S. census data which showed that the number of men who marry down is decreasing. While the number of men who marry up is increasing.

For men in the 1990s, 38 percent married down and only 25 percent married up. In the latest figures 28 percent married down, while 35 percent married up. So men of all types prefer dating and marrying successful women.

Do Looks Play a Role in Successful Women Dating?

Beauty plays a key role in the romantic selections men make. But here’s the surprise. Smarter women actually tend to take better care of their bodies and therefore may be more appealing visually. Being visually appealing or, as researchers term it, having body symmetry, has long been known to be an important component in mating. Not just with humans but in the entire animal kingdom.

In her terrific book, Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women, Christine Whelan concludes that smart women have both beauty and brains and are therefore more appealing. Her bottom line is, “Gentlemen prefer brains.”

The news is good ladies, for successful women dating and finding a great partner. You do not need to worry about your ambition and power destroying your chances for love.

successful women dating
Successful women dating

Five Tips for Successful Women Dating

  • Solid research shows that you counter your negative beliefs with positive love affirmations.
  • Remember to make a love relationship a priority in your life.
  • Get more education if you need it.
  • Explore your receptive and beautiful feminine side with men.
  • Let men be helpful.

Related: 7 Powerful Warrior Traits A Strong Woman Looks For In A Man

Final note on successful women dating and relationship issues

There has been a delay in the age at which women marry and bear children. But they can still do both—and not necessarily in that order! Study after study has concluded that education is becoming less of an impediment to both motherhood and marriage.

So file all these positive realities in your mind. These days you can have success, marriage, and children if you want them. And be with a loving guy who is a winner. This post on successful women dating issues was excerpted in part from my newly revised and updated dating advice book, Love in 90 Days.

Additional Resources for Successful Women Dating

If you’re struggling and need immediate help, take advantage of a dating strategy session with one of our expert coaches. In fact, let me buy you a session so you can see how valuable this work can be for you.

SPECIAL GIFT for Minds Journal readers! PBS Love Expert & Psychologist, Dr. Diana Kirschner will personally match you with a handpicked Elite Coach for a ZERO COST Breakthrough-to-Love Coaching session. Click here https://lovein90days.com/dating-coach/.  Simply fill out the form and Say “Minds Journal sent me” for VIP treatment!


Written By Dr. Diana Kirschner
Originally Appeared On Love In 90 Days
Successful Women Dating expin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

How The ‘Cool Girl’ Trope Sets Unrealistic Standards For Young Women

Cool Girl Trope: Ways To Overcome This Toxic Culture

In the realm of pop culture, the cool girl trope is often seen as a glamorous and idealized version of femininity. Let’s take a look at how it creates an impossible standard for women!

However, there are some hidden agendas behind this archetype. It sets unrealistic expectations for women, distorting reality. Today we’re going to look into what the cool girl trope entails, how it affects women, and analyze examples from movies and TV shows.

What Is The Cool Girl Trope?

The cool girl trope is all about creating a laid-back woman who possesses all the “masculine” traits but still manages to maintain her beauty and sex appeal.

She loves sports



Up Next

Dating A Feminist 101: 8 Tips On How To Date A Feminist And Cultivate A Relationship Grounded In Respect

Tips for Dating a Feminist and Embracing Gender Equality

Are you curious about what dating a feminist feels like? Perhaps you’ve met someone who proudly identifies as a feminist, and you want to understand their perspective better. 

Today, we will delve into the world of dating a feminist, exploring what is feminism, what a feminist relationship entails, and providing practical tips on how to date a feminist to foster a healthy and fulfilling connection. 

So, grab a cup of coffee and let’s embark on a journey of understanding, respect, and equality.

What is Feminism?

Before we dive into the intricacies of dating a feminist, let’s take a mo



Up Next

Women In Science: 7 Famous Female Scientists Who Redefine History

Famous Female Scientists Who Redefine History

Throughout history, women have been overshadowed by men. But behind the breakthroughs and innovations, there is a group of incredible and famous female scientists that has left their mark on the scientific world.

When was the last time you were asked to name a great scientist? Chances are, the likes of Isaac Newton or Albert Einstein popped into your head and for good reason — they made groundbreaking discoveries.

But if you’re like most people, men are probably all that comes to mind when thinking of great scientists. That’s because many famous women scientists have been left o



Up Next

Awe-Inspiring Female Lead Characters — 11 Fierce Movies Where Women Defy Expectations

Best Movies With Female Lead Characters Who Inspire Us

In a world where perception and aspirations are rooted in stories, here are the best movies with female lead characters that tell the tale of strong, independent female protagonists who inspire us.

Determination takes on new meaning, and courage is given another light to shine from. The strong female leads in these 11 movies come from all walks of life — be it high fashion, intergalactic battles, or magical realms — their worlds deserve exploration because they teach audiences of all ages such valuable lessons.

So this International Women’s Day, let’s celebrate the best movies wit



Up Next

10 Intriguing Psychological Facts About Women In Love

Women In Love: Intriguing Psychological Facts

That fluttery feeling in your stomach isn’t just about butterflies. Women experience a complex interplay of brain chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, and norepinephrine, which contribute to feelings of bliss, deep attachment, and intense focus on their partners.

Understanding women when they’re in love can be challenging and might leave you puzzled. Dealing with the psychology behind women in love involves navigating deep emotions, attachment styles, and cognitive processes, offering valuable insights into the workings of her mind and heart — a subject that has captivated poets, artists, and philosophers for centuries and remains as mysterious as ever.

We’ll explore 10 fascinating psychological facts about women in love. Who knows, you might uncover something that changes your perception of romance forever.



Up Next

Imposter Syndrome in Women: Understanding Root Causes and Tips To Overcome

Imposter Syndrome in Women: Tips To Know Your Self Worth

Ever felt that despite your achievements, you are nothing but a failure? Do you believe you are not good enough? Do you constantly doubt yourself and fear being exposed as a fraud? Imposter syndrome in women can be a devastating psychological experience that can keep you from being happy and successful in life. 

Today, let us delve into the topic of women and imposter syndrome and explore what imposter syndrome is, causes of imposter syndrome, how imposter syndrome affects women and what you can do to overcome it.

What Is Imposter Syndrome?



Up Next

Women with Daddy Issues: 3 Identifying Signs and Proven Strategies for Healing

Subtle Signs of Women With Daddy Issues and How To Deal

Are you dating a woman who seeks a lot of attention and validation all the time? Do they struggle with poor self-esteem? Is it difficult to form a secure and healthy attachment with her? Then she just might be struggling with daddy issues. Let us understand the psychology of women with daddy issues.

And the best way to do that is to explore what it actually means, identifying the signs of daddy issues in a woman and learning how to deal with daddy issues in a woman. This will enable you to help them heal and nurture a healthier relationship.

Understanding Daddy Issues

The term “da