When it comes to toxic relationships, sometimes you need to take a step back and observe some red flags that show that the relationship is toxic.
Are you wondering if your relationship is toxic? Do you look around at other people in happy relationships and wonder, how you can know if yours is one of the good ones?
Unfortunately, for many people, it’s hard to know when we are in a toxic relationship. We are too close to it and deep in it, and we can be blinded in many ways.
Fortunately, there are red flags that signal that your relationship is toxic. If you know what to look for, you can get yourself out of a relationship that is toxic and also keep you from entering one in the future.
Here are 5 red flags that signal that your relationship is toxic; five flags that you should heed if you see them.
1. You walk on eggshells.
I have a client who is very confident when out in the world. Out in the world, he speaks up for what he wants, is confident in his actions, and feels good about himself.
In contrast, when he is home, he feels unsafe and unsure. When he is in the presence of his wife he is quiet, knowing that if he says or does something that she doesn’t like, she will yell at him. He doesn’t take on projects around the house without her direction because he is worried that he might do the wrong thing. He spends more time in the garage knowing that if he is out of sight he is out of danger.
Do you feel that you walk on eggshells around your partner? That you are careful not to do anything that might upset them? That you will go out of your way to make them happy?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions then that is a clear red flag that your relationship is toxic. No one should feel uncomfortable being themselves in any relationship. Perhaps it’s time you took a good look at yours and see how you fit in.
2. Your self-esteem is shot.
For many of us in a relationship that is toxic we no longer feel good about ourselves.
In some cases, it’s because we are walking on eggshells and that makes us lose our self-confidence. In other cases, we don’t feel good about ourselves because our partners belittle us, in big ways and small, over and over again.
I have a client whose husband never has a kind word to say about her. He never compliments her on how she looks, or the dinner she cooked, or how successful she is in her job. Sometimes, he is just silent, saying nothing, which hurts her deeply. And sometimes he is very direct, telling her that her dress is horrible or that it’s just luck that she does well at work.
These kinds of direct and indirect attacks have slowly, over time, destroyed her self-esteem. She no longer believes that she is the amazing person that other people think her to be.
Are you struggling with self-esteem issues brought about by your relationship? If yes, it might be a sign that you are in a toxic relationship, one that you might consider leaving.
3. Your health is failing.
I remember, back when I was unhappily married, I was always struggling with health issues. I developed allergies to foods, some of which were psychosomatic. I was debilitated by a yeast overgrowth that led to fibromyalgia. I struggled with chronic pain in my body and constant depression. Basically, I was falling apart.
When we are in a relationship that is toxic, it has an effect on our physical health. If one exists in a state of being constantly on edge, being cut down by their partners, and not being loved, it is impossible to maintain good health. Even if you are exercising regularly and eating well, the chances of you struggling with health issues if your relationship is toxic is significant.
Do you have chronic health issues? It could be a sign that your relationship is toxic. Not only should you see a doctor, but perhaps it’s time to consider what the next steps should be for you to get your health back.