The tell-tale signs of a certain kind of man – the keeper.
A conscious man is an evolved man who loves differently from every other men.
Whether it be a stream of men walking the streets of my home city, some bearded and muscular in suits, others in tattered clothes pushing shopping carts, or those in NorthFace jackets driving family SUV’s, smiling at long coated women wearing faux fur hats breathing mist into sunshine and snowy air, keen, or simple, I am deeply appreciative of the masculine.
Truth be told, a short time ago I was vastly unaware of any concept related to manhood above wage earning, loyalty, and being strong/hard, until an ex-partner of mine quite viciously informed me that I was not a man. “What does that even mean?” I asked myself earnestly, biting back the pain of those icy bullets.
In the wake of what obviously became a dismantled marriage, the question still burns in my heart, but it’s lighter, tender, and more fertile than before. Most significantly, I’ve learned that the answers emerge most effectively through self-compassion and care.
As a therapist in the mental health industry, it is easy to see that a strong world current is driving an imperative toward new definitions of masculine, whether we like it or not. In a sense, my ex was right, I had no idea what this new version of manhood really meant.
I had long been miring in a limited male-dominated worldview, and I owe the intense search to her prodding. For the solutions and will to continue, however, I am indebted to the world of male interaction, my men’s group (Prometheus), and my male clients who never cease their march toward mature masculinity.
Repositories of information surrounding healthy masculinity are streaming out of the collective and men are waking up.
Conscious men are surfacing from the deep, and here are some ways to recognize one:
1. Conscious men smile, but not in an attempt to hide some inner malady.
They smile because their actions in life, their very breath, fulfill who they dream to be.
2. Conscious men do not give objects to gain affection.
They give in order to shed an excess. They give of themselves, their fears, their bondage, and their hopes, for they know in sharing these they are set free to smile deeper and cleaner. They buy flowers to add to their internal love reservoir, and out of their self-love arises spontaneous gifts that surprise even themselves. Smiles follow them.
3. Conscious men hold space for those around them.
Behind their eyes one might see the comforting strands of a nebula of stars and the knowing that there is always space for the vulnerable, the hopeless, and the afraid.
4. Conscious men breathe to the bottom.
They are not afraid to take life in, and constantly live on the edge of their experience—when they are not resting or performing great acts of physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual acts of self-care.
5. Conscious men have deeply tread the trenches of give and take, and as a result are gaining mastery in the world of business, relationships, and intimacy.
6. Conscious men hold dear the company of other men.
They know that despite their sexual orientation, spending time with the same sex evaporates isolation and excess emotional cargo.