8 Immature Dating Habits Grown Men Need to Leave Behind

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Men sometimes practice certain immature dating habits that hamper their chances of having a mature and healthy relationship. And the more they keep on doing this, the door to having a fulfilling relationship steadily closes.




As we grow, advance, and [hopefully] mature as adults, the ways we live our lives should progress at an equal pace. What I find to be some sort of epidemic these days is otherwise seemingly mature and well-adjusted men have stuck to the dating habits they learned in their early 20โ€™s, or maybe even late teens.

Back in those days [Listen to me, sounding like an adult now that Iโ€™ve turned 30], a lot of different things accomplished a lot of different goals. Maybe you didnโ€™t really want a serious relationship.



Maybe you hadnโ€™t really figured out yourself or what you were looking for. But now that you have matured past that phase in your life, you cannot expect to get better results by utilizing the same old techniques.

If you are going to find yourself a nice girl who youโ€™d feel comfortable bringing home to mom, there are some strategies that youโ€™re going to have to leave behind โ€“ because they just donโ€™t cut it anymore.

8 immature dating habits that grown men need to leave behind:




1. The โ€˜letโ€™s just see where this goesโ€™ technique.

As you reach your 30โ€™s, and definitely after you hit them, women are past the point of wasting their time with guys who arenโ€™t serious about a future. Women are driven, successful, independent, and want to be with a man who they can consider an equal teammate in life and in love.

The whole โ€˜Iโ€™m still figuring life outโ€™ thing isnโ€™t going to cut it with a mature, established woman. Trust me, I know better than anyone that life is tough and a lot of us probably have no idea what the hell weโ€™re doing. Itโ€™s not about having all of the answers โ€“ because nobody does โ€“ but it is about having some semblance of a path in life that will make her feel comfortable committing to you for the long run.

Nobody wants to plan a future with someone who doesnโ€™t have a future planned for themselves.

Related: Dating Today Is Like Giant Game Of Mind F*ck That I Refuse To Participate In

2. The โ€˜Iโ€™ll wait 3 days to callโ€™ and other nonsense.

Traditional antiquated dating โ€˜rulesโ€™ go out the window when a certain level of maturity is reached. Call when you want to call, text when you want to text. There are no rules or regulations when building a mature, healthy relationship.

If you start overthinking everything and only doing what you think youโ€™re supposed to do (or not do), then the genuineness of your actions begins to fade and give way to a more robotic structure to your relationship.




How can someone get to know the real you if you are manufacturing every step you take? Oh, they canโ€™t.

3. โ€˜Hey, wanna meet up?โ€™ texts.

Iโ€™ve mentioned this one a few times before because itโ€™s an ongoing issue. If you want a woman to take you seriously, you need to let her know that youโ€™re taking getting to know her seriously.

A last-minute text to see if she wants to โ€˜meet upโ€™ somewhere youโ€™re going to be, isnโ€™t exactly sending the message that youโ€™re willing to put in the effort for her.

Meeting up for a drink is not a date. Grabbing a coffee is not a date. A last-minute text inviting her to join you out with your group of friends is not a date. Using the actual word and properly inviting a woman on a date is the first step to actually making it one. The next step is actually taking the time to plan something out.

Stand out from the crowd by showing her you are different than all the other guys โ€“ because you are.

4. Using your phone during the date.

Honestly, this is so cringe-worthy that I hate to even need to bring it up โ€“ but I do. Maybe when youโ€™re younger you can both play around on the Instagram machine while youโ€™re waiting for your fries and chocolate shake to be roller-skated over to the car. But, youโ€™re an adult now, and itโ€™s time to control your impulsive urges to check Facebook every 5 seconds.

I know that youโ€™re important and you need to see who just liked your profile photo, but when you are on a date with a real-live woman who is deserving of your attention, thatโ€™s precisely what you should be giving her.




Have a real conversation, give her your full attention, and leave your phone in your pocket.

Related: 7 Ways To Make Him Fall in Love Over Text Message

5. Wasting time on people youโ€™re not into.

I think we have all probably spent a little too much time with someone who we knew, deep in our hearts, wasnโ€™t right for us. The reasons could vary. Maybe youโ€™d feel too guilty breaking it off with them. Maybe you thought youโ€™d develop stronger feelings for them eventually. Maybe the sex was great, but nothing else really was.

When youโ€™re younger and not really looking to plan a future, it may be nice to be with someone just for companionship as long as you both are looking for the same thing. But when we get older, itโ€™s time to get a little more serious about who we spend our valuable time with.

If you know in your heart itโ€™s not going to work in the long run, break it off for both of your sakeโ€™s. Nobody should be led into a dead end.




Want to know more about immature dating habits? Check this video out below!

6. Not being genuine about who you are.

Too many people send their โ€˜representativeโ€™ on the first few days with someone new. Youโ€™re on your best behavior, you are polite, courteous, patient, and chivalrousโ€ฆ

While you should absolutely be all of these things, you should really, truly, genuinely be all of these things. If youโ€™re not, donโ€™t pretend that you are, because when the truth comes out itโ€™s just going to make things worse.

If you donโ€™t possess these qualities, work on yourself first, and develop them before you enter into a relationship with another person. โ€˜Fake it โ€™til you make itโ€™ doesnโ€™t apply when someoneโ€™s feelings are on the line.

7. Putting on your lame โ€˜going out in publicโ€™ uniform.

Guys, the cargo shorts and Polo shirts are great for casual days with your friends, but if youโ€™re taking a woman out on the town, youโ€™re going to need to step it up.

First impressions are important, and unless sheโ€™s looking for a frat boy, youโ€™re probably not going to want to look like one.



Related: 12 Old Fashioned Dating Habits We Should Bring Back In Trend

8. Even considering letting her pay half.

When friends go out, they split the bill. When you are on a date, the man picks up the tab. All of it. There are plenty of ways a woman can reciprocate if sheโ€™d like โ€“ she can take care of parking, pick up a round of drinks, get the snacks at the show you got tickets for, whatever it may be โ€“ but when the tab comes for dinner, donโ€™t let her anywhere near it [and do not accept her offer to split it]. 

If you think paying for the date is about the money, think again.

Of course, dating changes as we get older. Life is all about progressing and evolving, but it doesnโ€™t happen automatically. Things change on their own โ€“ we all know that happens without us needing to put in any effort. But improvement, that takes work.

Work, though, is what makes the final result so rewarding: A happy, healthy relationship with a woman you love.


Written by James Michael Sama
Originally appeared in The Good Men Project
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