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10 Reasons You Feel Like Hating Your Ex Forever And Why You Really Shouldn’t

Reasons You Feel Like Hating Your Ex

Going through a divorce is not a pleasant experience to have, and more often than not, you find that you hate your ex. But when you hate your ex, you are just causing yourself more pain. This article will dive deep into the reasons you hate your ex, what to do when you hate your ex, and how to not hate your ex.

You have just gone through the biggest crisis of your life, your divorce. It was costly, scary, and miserable, and you thought it would never end. In fact, maybe it still isn’t finished. There are so many reasons why you could hate your ex forever. Here are a few of the most popular.

10 Reasons You Hate Your Ex And Why You Really Shouldn’t

1. Your ex betrayed you.

Maybe it was an affair, or maybe it was the decision to leave you. Maybe your ex let you down in another way.

In any case, you are feeling abandoned, possibly replaced, and it is probably unforgivable. In fact, you’d like your ex to suffer as much (or more) than you are.

Related: 7 Things We Often Forget To Thank Our Exes For

2. You are emotionally unhinged (and it is your ex’s fault).

You are easily triggered to righteous anger, and even though you know it would be better for the kids if you could set your feelings aside, you just can’t seem to control those emotions. After all, righteous anger feels better than depression.

You cannot stop yourself from telling almost everyone you meet how your ex has screwed up your life and the kids. You think they ought to know all about it.

3. You believe that divorce is morally bad, bad for your kids, and just plain wrong.

You made those wedding vows and now you wonder if they meant anything at all.

hate your ex
Don’t hate your ex

4. You cannot believe you have to add “divorced” to your resume.

You are embarrassed, ashamed, and feel like a failure. You feel unlovable and unworthy of love. You hate asking for help or support so you suffer alone or vent your grievance story repeatedly to your family and friends.

Related: Why Having Sex With Your Ex Is A Really Bad Idea

5. Your ex has moved on already, but you are stuck.

You think you may never move on. You can’t stop thinking about the divorce. It’s become an obsession that you can’t let go.

It is interfering with your work, you can’t sleep, and you’re watching a lot of TV while you eat junk food. All you think about is negative, you can hardly remember anything good about your ex anymore.

6. You feel all the losses are irreparable.

You have lost the person you once loved and who was supposed to love you forever. You have also lost money, property, and time with your children. You can’t imagine that you’ll ever get over these losses.

7. You still love your ex or believe that you were meant to be together.

You still think your ex will come to her or his senses and come back to you, but after all this, you’ll never want your ex back again.

In fact, you wish you never had to see your ex again, but unfortunately, with the kids, you do have to see him or her, but you do your best to minimize contact. You try to avoid saying hello when you run into each other and sit as far away as possible at your kids’ soccer games.

8. It is too bad, but the kids should know what’s what.

They should align with you and know that your ex is to blame for breaking up the family.

Of course, you know the experts say your kids “should” love both parents, but you also think they should know the “truth” about what really happened. Besides, you believe it is wrong to lie or keep “secrets” from your kids.

Related: How To Heal When Your Ex Has Moved On But You Haven’t

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Ann Gold Buscho Ph.D.

Dr. Buscho is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in family issues and issues related to divorce, parenting, parenting planning, and co-parenting counseling. She has professional and personal experience in nesting, co-parenting, step-parenting, and single-parenting issues. She has presented widely at the state and national conferences for attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial professionals on collaborative divorce, forgiveness practices, nesting during divorce, and consensual dispute resolution. Dr. Buscho is also a co-founder of a residential treatment program for traumatized emergency responders and their families at which she volunteers regularly.View Author posts

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