Skip to content

How To Improve Your Relationships With Mindfulness

Improve Relationships Mindfulness

Mindfulness improves relationships: Mindfulness is the secret to experiencing a healthier and happier relationship and staying close to your partner.

When you practice mindfulness in your daily life, you will be more aware of yourself and your relationships. By bringing your attention to the present moment, you will be able to connect with your partner in a deeper way. As you have better experiences in your relationship, you will get out of the auto-pilot mode that can spell doom for most relationships. 

“Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay.” – Dalai Lama

Do you have trouble understanding relationships? If so, then you’re not alone. Relationships can be one of the most difficult challenges of human existence. Whether they are relationships with family members, friends, or romantic partners, conflicts in relationships can cause us stress, unhappiness, and even separation.

Related: Building Your Marriage on the Four Foundations of Mindfulness

Many of us spend our whole lives trying to figure out how relationships work and still feel like we don’t understand them. But the truth is that once we gain some understanding, we realize that having good relationships isn’t as complicated as we might think.

The main reason we have difficulties with relationships is that many of us can’t see beyond our own wants and needs. So, if we’re dealing with someone who sees the world from the same perspective, then we’re constantly going to be involved in a power struggle — each trying to get his own way. Our relationships will be filled with conflict and misunderstanding.

Many people believe that in order to have healthy relationships, they need to be working on the relationship itself. While this may indeed be important for healthy relationships, what we really should be working on is ourselves. Not only do we need to learn how to be more loving, compassionate, and understanding, but we also need to overcome one of the greatest obstacles to healthy relationships—our insecurities.

There are several simple practices that can help us make great strides in improving our relationships. Among them are deep listening, mindful speech, writing meditation, and mindfulness meditation. These are key elements of mindfulness practice. They will help you overcome your insecurities, and you’ll attract healthier people into your life. Just imagine what your life will be like when that happens.

How Practicing Mindfulness Improves Relationships

1. Deep Listening

“Let go of your mind and then be mindful. Close your ears and listen!” – Rumi

Many of us don’t listen closely to other people when they’re talking to us. We’re usually thinking about how we’re going to respond, or something entirely different. We have difficulty paying attention because our mind is agitated, and we want to move on to the next order of business. And so we miss much of what people are telling us.

This is the main reason why we have such difficulty remembering people’s names when we first meet them. It’s not because our memory is going bad, but because we weren’t paying attention when they told us their name.

People know when we’re listening to them, and it sends a clear message that we value what they have to say. It shows respect, appreciation, and caring, and these can go a long way toward healing, and bringing more harmony into our relationships.

The way to practice deep listening is rather simple. Start by looking into people’s eyes when they’re speaking to you. Try to keep your attention on what they’re saying, and resist the temptation to let your mind wander off. And in the event that it does, there is nothing wrong with telling the other person that you missed something he said, and to please repeat it. This shows sincere interest, and that you’re trying your best to pay attention. I think you’ll be amazed at how well deep listening works. Try it and see for yourself.

2. Mindful Speech

“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

How many of your conflicts have been the result of simple misunderstandings? Somebody misunderstood what you said and/or your intentions. Whenever we’re engaged in a conversation, we often say the first thing that comes to mind. We rarely stop to think about how our words will be interpreted.

We simply assume that people will fully understand what we mean. Though we can’t control how other people are going to interpret our words, we can certainly reduce the likelihood of being misunderstood.

Pages: 1 2

Charles A. Francis

Charles A. Francis is the founder and director of the Mindfulness Meditation Institute. He has published numerous articles, and is the author of the book, Mindfulness Meditation Made Simple: Your Guide to Finding True Inner Peace. He has studied the mindfulness practice with Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh and has over 20 years of experience with mindfulness meditation. He is a speaker and consultant and leads workshops and retreats in Raleigh, NC, where he resides. To learn more, visit: Author posts