People Who Only Take From You: 11 Signs Of Toxic Takers In Relationships

 / 

, ,
People Who Only Take: Signs Of Takers In Relationships

There are certain people who only take from others, and choose to be entitled and arrogant about it for their whole lives. Such toxic takers or self centred people demand and expect too much from others, whilst doing nothing in return. This article is going to talk in detail about the signs of people who only take and give nothing back.

KEY POINTS

  • People who demand too much from others have high self-esteem with anxiety and are inept at self-care.
  • Takers experience a higher mortality rate than those in give-and-take irelationships.
  • Expecting too much from others is learned in early childhood. It becomes a fixed aspect of personality.

People who expect too much from others may be labelled narcissistic, expecting unstinting admiration and caretaking by others. The Oxford Learner’s Dictionary defines narcissism as “having an excessive preoccupation with oneself and one’s own needs… often at the expense of [understanding] others [needs].”

We may view such people as getting all the goodies in relationships because they call the shots and get their desires and needs met by others. But there are downsides for people who take too much from others in relationships. There are also other attributes that go along with being takers.

Related: 9 Tactics Through Which People Take Advantage Of You

People Who Only Take From You: 11 Signs Of Toxic Takers In Relationships

1. Arrogant Attitude

Takers arrogantly expect others to give to them as if this were the purpose of other people in relationships, cite Martin and Adams. They are not obsequious about accepting help. They are ungrateful. Rarely are they thankful for assistance.

They feel entitled to all they get from others, and they usually want more. They do not expect to reciprocate by giving to others. Their focus is only on receiving. This leaves their relationships lopsided.

2. Inflated Sense of Self-Worth

Somewhat paradoxically, people expecting to be gratified by others may have high self-esteem. They often believe they are wonderful people and highly accomplished, even though they may be ungifted and unskilled, with few endeavours even attempted, find Martin and Adams.

3. Focus on Personal Wants

People who excel at taking support from others are highly focused on personal desires, similar to a horse wearing blinders. They often have little perspective on what other people need or want.

According to Dambrun and Ricard, their happiness and emotional stability fluctuate and are not steady with this enduring personal focus.

People who only take

4. Little Consideration of Others

Blair finds that, often, self centred people have and demonstrate little empathy for others. This explains their lack of consideration for others’ needs and wants and their poor responsiveness to others’ distress.

5. Expect Others to Solve Their Problems

Takers are good at absolving themselves of agency in solving their own problems. Why try to fix something on your own when you can expect and get another person to step up and do it for you?

Related: 9 Types of Toxic People That Will Rob You Of Your Happiness

6. Assume Little Responsibility

Takers are often irresponsible and exhibit little responsibility, both for themselves and for others. They project responsibility onto other people who are especially good at taking up the slack for them.

For example, they may expect a spouse to be totally responsible for the children while they maintain a hands-off approach toward child-rearing.

7. Inept Feelings Toward Self-Care

Because self centred people are so good at eliciting care from others, they are lousy at self-care. They may feel anxious and inept at the idea of doing things that care for themselves.

8. Higher Mortality Rate

Chen et al. studied all-cause mortality risk in people “disproportionately receiving social support––[receiving] more social support than they gave.” They found higher mortality in this group when compared with people who both give and take emotional support.

They speculated that higher “support from others may leave individuals feeling indebted to and dependent on others…” Such “…low levels of perceived control…” are often linked to higher risk of many physical diseases, especially cardiovascular illnesses. Pathological emotional taking is hazardous to survival when compared with people having more balanced reciprocity in their relationships.

9. Relish Dependency on Others

People good at taking do not shun others’ help, nor are they independent in their self-directed actions. They like being in a dependent role in which others dispense emotional and physical care to them.

People who only take

10. Early Learning

Martin and Adams discovered that children demonstrated self-absorbed, taking traits by age three. Commonly, parents excessively catered to such children, both anticipating problems and solving problems the children encountered, instead of allowing children to problem-solve on their own.

These children manifest conduct problems at young ages—throwing tantrums and being aggressive when they do not get their way.

Related: How To Leave A Narcissist: 6 Powerful Hacks

11. Psychological and Psychiatric Disorders

Addictions can occur in helpless, self centred people who feel and act helpless in relationship—substance abuse, gambling, and sexual addictions. Carter et. al compared normative youth with young people who abused substances.

They discovered the substance abusers exhibited higher levels of narcissism, entitlement, and egocentrism. In extreme instances, according to Blair, psychopathy, with an extreme lack of empathy for others, can occur in a minority of narcissistic, pathological takers.

Check out her website to see more blogs, podcasts and articles. Also, don’t forget to check out her amazing book, Living on Automatic: How Emotional Conditioning Shapes Our Lives and Relationships.

Living on Automatic: How Emotional Conditioning Shapes Our Lives and Relationships Book

References:

Blair, R.J.R. (2013) The neurobiology of psychopathic traits in youths. Nature Reviews Neuroscience. 14, 786-799.

Dambrun, M., Ricard, M. (2011) Self-Centeredness and Selflessness: A Theory of Self-Based Psychological Functioning and its Consequences for Happiness. Review of General Psychology, Vol. 15(2) 138-157.

Martin, H.B., Adams, C.B.L. (2018) Living on Automatic: How Emotional Conditioning Shapes Our Lives and Relationships, Praeger (now Bloomsbury).

The Oxford Learner’s Dictionary, Oxfordlearnersdictionary.com/us/definition/English/narcissism

Carter, R.R. et al. (2012) Addiction and “Generation Me:” Narcissistic and prosocial behaviors of adolescents with substance dependency disorder in comparison to normative adolescents, Alcohol Treat Q, 30(2): 163-178.

Written By Christine B. L. Adams M.D.
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
toxic takers

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Man vs Bear Debate: What is the Right Choice for Women?

Man vs Bear Debate: Is It Safe To Choose a Bear Over Man?

Even though Leonardo Di Caprio has proven that men can beat a bear in strength and intelligence, let’s not get carried away and remember that a bear can be more powerful than men. You can guess that we are here to discuss why women chose bear in the man vs bear debate.

The real question is, what threatens women more? Getting mauled by a bear and meeting a horrific death or getting violated by a man??

Women are inclined to the second option in the viral Man vs Bear debate.



Up Next

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? 8 Ways Narcissists Can Muddle Your Brain

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? Reasons Why It Happens

Have you ever heard of the term “brain fog”? Brain fog is like a maddening haze that seems to muddle your thoughts, makes you forget what you were saying, and has you searching for your clothes in the trash bin? Well, today we are going to talk about a specific sort of brain fog – brain fog after narcissistic abuse.

Imagine that you have just escaped from a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. You are slowly picking up the pieces and trying to get your life back in order, but somehow you feel like your head is not in the right place. Everything still feels very odd and you still feel very lost.

Even though you are free from the clutches of your narcissistic ex, this bizarre mental fog just won’t lift. Let’s explore how narcissists cause brain fog, and the link between brain fog and narcissistic abuse.



Up Next

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: 20 Warning Signs to Watch For

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: Warning Signs to Watch For

Having a toxic boss can really take a toll on you mentally, and toxic bosses are seriously so horrible. This article is going to help you understand the traits of a toxic boss so that you know which behaviors are not normal and ethical. Read on to know more about the signs of a toxic boss or toxic bosses.

We hear about toxic bosses all the time, but how do you know when a boss is “toxic”? “Toxic” is, of course, a vague descriptor. Are bosses toxic when they throw fits and scream, or only when they break the law?

Or are they toxic when they are immoral or unethical? Are they toxic if they’re nice one day and nasty the next, or just when they make you uncomfortable, nervous, or sick? These are valid questions because these individuals are easy to identify when their behaviors are outrageous; but perhaps less so when their behavior



Up Next

How To Know If Your Mother Hates You: 8 Not-So-Subtle Signs

How To Know If Your Mother Hates You: Not-So-Subtle Signs

Have you ever found yourself wondering if your mother harbors some deep-seated resentment, or even hatred towards you? If you have, then I know that it’s a really tough pill to swallow. How can your mother hate you, and most importantly, how to know if your mother hates you?

Today, we’re diving straight into the realm of family dynamics, exploring the question “why does my mother hate me?”. We will try to understand the signs that give away her true feelings for you, and which may indicate if your mother’s love has taken a dark turn.

Let’s uncover 8 revealing clues that might just help you make sense of the complicated bond you share with your mom. Explore how to know if your mother hates you.



Up Next

How to Recognize and Counter Emotional Blackmail: 8 Techniques and 7 Signs

What Is Emotional Blackmail? Telltale Signs Revealed

Picture this: You’re sitting across from a friend, engrossed in conversation, when suddenly you feel the atmosphere change. Their tone becomes harsh, their eyes seem accusatory, and it feels like you’re trapped in an emotional minefield. Now, that’s what is emotional blackmail.

We’ve all experienced it at some point in our lives, whether it’s a toxic relationship, a manipulative friend, or even within our own families. But what is emotional blackmail exactly, and how to deal with emotional blackmail?

In this article, we are going to take a look into the world of emotional blackmail and try to understand each and every nuance. We will talk about the signs of emotional blackmail, the types of emotional blackmail and how to deal with emotional blackmail.

So, are you ready to do this?



Up Next

What Does Being Submissive Mean? 9 Warning Signs You Might Be A Meek, Submissive Woman

What Does Being Submissive Mean? Signs Of A Meek Woman

Ever wondered, “What does being submissive mean?” Well, let’s put it this way: it’s like constantly being in the backseat of your life’s car, letting others take the wheel while you navigate the road of existence.

For example, meet Jess. She’s that friend who’s always putting everyone else’s happiness and needs before her own, and she often finds herself getting involved in abusive and unhealthy relationships.

If you relate to Jess and the ways she lives life, then you might be in for a very rude reality check. Because this points to the realm of female submissiveness. Stick around as we uncover nine warning signs that scream, “Hey, you might be more like Jess than you think!”

Related:



Up Next

What Is Unintentional Gaslighting? The Surprising Ways You Might Be Gaslighting Without Knowing It

What Is Unintentional Gaslighting? How Good Intentions Can Go Awry

Ever found yourself questioning your own reality after interaction with someone you know? Unintentional gaslighting can sneak into conversations, leaving you feeling disoriented and invalidated, even when no harm is intended.

Accidental, unintended or unconscious gaslighting in relationships can make you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, or even sanity. Someone’s words or actions can make you feel uncertain, dazed & confused without even realizing it.

Gaslighting, a term derived from a movie titled “Gaslight,” refers to the act of manipulating someone into doubting their own experiences and perceptions. But what is unintentional gaslighting?

Let’s explore this lesser-known concept and shed light on