I Am Not Who I Used To Be And That Is A Beautiful Thing

Written By:

Sometimes, time flies and things change, and you are not who you were used to be before. And honestly, that’s a good thing.

So much has changed over the last few months and yet here I am – still me but somehow different than I used to be.

When I think of my GOOD life, today, it’s simple. Slow. It’s gathering in a nourishing community that welcomes me in my fullness. It’s embracing myself as I am. Being honest over perfect. It’s raising beautiful, imperfect baby beings.

Sacred motherhood. Sweet loving. Nourishing food. Dance parties. Treasure hunting and sunset hikes. 

I don’t crave to “change the world” on a macro level. I crave to find harmony in my community. Sustainably changing lives – one by one. Healing, growing, transforming together for the better tomorrow – on and off the screen.

I am whole

⁣My purpose is to uncover layer by layer to (re)discover who I truly am – and remind myself, when I forget, that I am always whole in my (w)holiness.

The GOOD Life isn’t pretending the dark doesn’t exist, it’s gazing into it, trusting that no matter what you find, you’re worthy.

I believe a GOOD life is not about ‘finding’ yourself. A GOOD life is about consciously creating yourself. Not yesterday or tomorrow, but today. Right. Now.

Your definition of your GOOD life may be very different, and that is ok. Just know that striving for “happiness” is a dead-end road.

Here’s my invitation for you: if you’re sick of scrolling through the World Wide Web and seeing everyone else live a life you wish you had (like I once was), it’s time for you to get to work creating the life that is the fullest expression of your soul.

(hint: it may not be found through a little screen..)

Related: 11 Traps Sabotaging Your Spiritual Growth

What if I get lost?

I remember a time where I realized that shouting for what I wanted and needed wasn’t working for me any longer until everything quieted down to a whisper.
⠀⠀
And it’s okay if it takes time to make sense of how you feel. You are allowed to feel whatever shows up. Everything is welcome here.
⠀⠀
When anxious thoughts and fear come up, acknowledge them, thank them for bringing you messages, then bring your mind back to what you are choosing to focus on this moment. On days like these life becomes about moments in time. Choose where to rest your mind from moment to moment. Use your breath as an ever-present anchor. 
⠀⠀
There’s a sense of liberation from our conventional experience of time and space. Everything feels whole. 

used to be

A reminder

May we remember that that stillness does not mean standing still, and leaning into silence and contemplating a daily grounding practice is also part of the journey. May we remember that the light is always there even in the darkest dark. 

No one gets to tell you how to get *there*. People can make suggestions and offer their support, but it’s you who has to walk the path – the one that YOU choose. 

Remember that you always heal into something new, something beyond where you once were. Still you, but you become more you, too. 

Questions to ask yourself

– Who am I? What do I want? What does my good life LOOK like?

– How would living my good life FEEL like?

– What (baby) step can I take TODAY to move closer to my good life?

..then get out there and do it. 

Trust me when I say: You won’t regret it! 

Nila

Check out Nila Conzen’s Instagram and Facebook page for more such beautiful and thought-provoking writings.


Written By Nila Conzen
Originally Appeared In About The Good Life
I Am Not Who I Used To Be And That Is A Beautiful Thing Pin

Published On:

Last updated on:

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

3 Warning Signs You’re Drowning In Toxic Positivity

3 Sneaky Ways Toxic Positivity Shows Up in Your Everyday Life

Toxic positivity isn’t just annoying—it’s exhausting. When you’re constantly forcing a smile, ignoring real emotions, or brushing off pain with “good vibes only,” you’re deep in the signs of toxic positivity.

It’s time we start rejecting toxic positivity and make space for honesty over forced positivity.

KEY POINTS

When positivity is forced, it can dismiss valid emotions.

Feeling sad, angry, or frustrated is part of being human.

Instead of saying “Look on the bright side,” ask, “How can I support you right now?”

Up Next

How To Cope When Dysregulated Loved Ones Drive You Crazy

How To Cope With Dysregulated Behavior? 5 Clear Ways

When loved ones are emotionally dysregulated, it can feel overwhelming. Here’s how to stay grounded, protect your peace, and support them without losing yourself.

A few metaphors to help improve interpersonal effectiveness in times of distress.

Key points

It can be very distressing when loved ones are angry, insulting, or demanding.

We can stand firm in choosing what we will and won’t do in response to their dysregulation.

Maintaining our own boundaries and sense of perspective is key.

When people we care

Up Next

The Shortcomings Of Stoicism

The Shortcomings Of Stoicism

Experiencing a wide range of emotions is a prerequisite to living a full life.

Key points

Suppressing or avoiding your feelings can paradoxically amplify them.

Your feelings can provide you with valuable information that facilitates decision-making.

A better approach is to integrate stoic principles as you embark on a path of emotional awareness and mastery.

Up Next

6 Microhabits That Are Good For Your Soul (And Take Less Than 10 Minutes)

6 Unique Things That Are Good For Your Soul: Try Out Now!

From busy schedules to endless notifications, often your soul can get left behind, waiting, craving just a little attention, but below are some micro habits that are good for your soul!

The world glorifies hustle culture but easily overlooks the quieter parts of ourselves. Your soul is one of those parts. It doesn’t ask for much.

Soul-care doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. It’s the little things and small pauses that help us feel grounded, present, and alive.

Under 10 minutes here are 6 things that are good for your soul!

Up Next

The Alexander Technique: Your Body’s Secret Superpower

The Alexander Technique: Because Your Body Deserves Better Habits

By Nathalie Boutros, Ph.D. and Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D.

The Alexander technique is a specific approach and set of exercises that encourage the development of mindful awareness of the balance and posture of the body, with a particular focus on the balance, posture, and movement of the head, neck, and spine.

Around the turn of the 20th century, Australian stage actor Frederick Matthias Alexander noticed that he struggled with long performances. He developed recurrent laryngitis that was not responsive to the treatments recommended by his physicians.

He thus decided to closely examine his performance style, watching himself in great detail in multiple mirrors while he recited his lines. He observed that his posture while speaking was maladaptive.

Up Next

7 Signs Of An Infinite Player (And Why You’ll Never Look At Life The Same Again)

7 Powerful Signs of an Infinite Player That Scream Growth

Have you ever hard of the term “infinite player”? Even though it sounds like something out of a video game, in this context, it isn’t. Actually, it’s a powerful way of looking at life.

Now, where does this term come from?

The term comes from James P. Carse’s iconic book, Finite and Infinite Games, where he breaks people down into two groups: finite pla

Up Next

The Surprising Benefits Of Surrender: Why Letting Go Can Set You Free

The Real Benefits of Surrender: Less Control, More Peace

Do you ever feel like the harder you try to control everything, the more life pushes back? This article is going to explore the benefits of surrender, and how to practice surrendering.

Surrendering is not a sign of defeat, but as a surprisingly strong and freeing way to cope, heal, and move forward.

By Charlie Huntington, M.A., Ph.D. candidate, and Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D.

Surrendering is the act of giving up something. For our purposes, surrender means giving up on efforts to control your life or ensure specific outcomes in your life. But why surrender?

Trying too hard to control our lives is stressful and ultimately fruitless (Cole & Pargament, 1999). Knowing when to surrender and being able to do so