I Am Not Who I Used To Be And That Is A Beautiful Thing


I Am Not Who I Used To Be And That Is A Beautiful Thing

Sometimes, time flies and things change, and you are not who you were used to be before. And honestly, that’s a good thing.

So much has changed over the last few months and yet here I am – still me but somehow different than I used to be.

When I think of my GOOD life, today, it’s simple. Slow. It’s gathering in a nourishing community that welcomes me in my fullness. It’s embracing myself as I am. Being honest over perfect. It’s raising beautiful, imperfect baby beings.

Sacred motherhood. Sweet loving. Nourishing food. Dance parties. Treasure hunting and sunset hikes. 

I don’t crave to “change the world” on a macro level. I crave to find harmony in my community. Sustainably changing lives – one by one. Healing, growing, transforming together for the better tomorrow – on and off the screen.

I am whole

⁣My purpose is to uncover layer by layer to (re)discover who I truly am – and remind myself, when I forget, that I am always whole in my (w)holiness.

The GOOD Life isn’t pretending the dark doesn’t exist, it’s gazing into it, trusting that no matter what you find, you’re worthy.

I believe a GOOD life is not about ‘finding’ yourself. A GOOD life is about consciously creating yourself. Not yesterday or tomorrow, but today. Right. Now.

Your definition of your GOOD life may be very different, and that is ok. Just know that striving for “happiness” is a dead-end road.

Here’s my invitation for you: if you’re sick of scrolling through the World Wide Web and seeing everyone else live a life you wish you had (like I once was), it’s time for you to get to work creating the life that is the fullest expression of your soul.

(hint: it may not be found through a little screen..)

Related: 11 Traps Sabotaging Your Spiritual Growth

What if I get lost?

I remember a time where I realized that shouting for what I wanted and needed wasn’t working for me any longer until everything quieted down to a whisper.
And it’s okay if it takes time to make sense of how you feel. You are allowed to feel whatever shows up. Everything is welcome here.
When anxious thoughts and fear come up, acknowledge them, thank them for bringing you messages, then bring your mind back to what you are choosing to focus on this moment. On days like these life becomes about moments in time. Choose where to rest your mind from moment to moment. Use your breath as an ever-present anchor. 
There’s a sense of liberation from our conventional experience of time and space. Everything feels whole. 

Who I used to be

A reminder

May we remember that that stillness does not mean standing still, and leaning into silence and contemplating a daily grounding practice is also part of the journey. May we remember that the light is always there even in the darkest dark. 

No one gets to tell you how to get *there*. People can make suggestions and offer their support, but it’s you who has to walk the path – the one that YOU choose. 

Remember that you always heal into something new, something beyond where you once were. Still you, but you become more you, too. 

Questions to ask yourself

– Who am I? What do I want? What does my good life LOOK like?

– How would living my good life FEEL like?

– What (baby) step can I take TODAY to move closer to my good life?

..then get out there and do it. 

Trust me when I say: You won’t regret it! 


Check out Nila Conzen’s Instagram and Facebook page for more such beautiful and thought-provoking writings.

Written By Nila Conzen
Originally Appeared In About The Good Life
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