I Am Not Who I Used To Be And That Is A Beautiful Thing


I Am Not Who I Used To Be And That Is A Beautiful Thing

Sometimes, time flies and things change, and you are not who you were used to be before. And honestly, that’s a good thing.

So much has changed over the last few months and yet here I am – still me but somehow different than I used to be.

When I think of my GOOD life, today, it’s simple. Slow. It’s gathering in a nourishing community that welcomes me in my fullness. It’s embracing myself as I am. Being honest over perfect. It’s raising beautiful, imperfect baby beings.

Sacred motherhood. Sweet loving. Nourishing food. Dance parties. Treasure hunting and sunset hikes. 

I don’t crave to “change the world” on a macro level. I crave to find harmony in my community. Sustainably changing lives – one by one. Healing, growing, transforming together for the better tomorrow – on and off the screen.

I am whole

⁣My purpose is to uncover layer by layer to (re)discover who I truly am – and remind myself, when I forget, that I am always whole in my (w)holiness.

The GOOD Life isn’t pretending the dark doesn’t exist, it’s gazing into it, trusting that no matter what you find, you’re worthy.

I believe a GOOD life is not about ‘finding’ yourself. A GOOD life is about consciously creating yourself. Not yesterday or tomorrow, but today. Right. Now.

Your definition of your GOOD life may be very different, and that is ok. Just know that striving for “happiness” is a dead-end road.

Here’s my invitation for you: if you’re sick of scrolling through the World Wide Web and seeing everyone else live a life you wish you had (like I once was), it’s time for you to get to work creating the life that is the fullest expression of your soul.

(hint: it may not be found through a little screen..)

Related: 11 Traps Sabotaging Your Spiritual Growth

What if I get lost?

I remember a time where I realized that shouting for what I wanted and needed wasn’t working for me any longer until everything quieted down to a whisper.
And it’s okay if it takes time to make sense of how you feel. You are allowed to feel whatever shows up. Everything is welcome here.
When anxious thoughts and fear come up, acknowledge them, thank them for bringing you messages, then bring your mind back to what you are choosing to focus on this moment. On days like these life becomes about moments in time. Choose where to rest your mind from moment to moment. Use your breath as an ever-present anchor. 
There’s a sense of liberation from our conventional experience of time and space. Everything feels whole. 

Who I used to be

A reminder

May we remember that that stillness does not mean standing still, and leaning into silence and contemplating a daily grounding practice is also part of the journey. May we remember that the light is always there even in the darkest dark. 

No one gets to tell you how to get *there*. People can make suggestions and offer their support, but it’s you who has to walk the path – the one that YOU choose. 

Remember that you always heal into something new, something beyond where you once were. Still you, but you become more you, too. 

Questions to ask yourself

– Who am I? What do I want? What does my good life LOOK like?

– How would living my good life FEEL like?

– What (baby) step can I take TODAY to move closer to my good life?

..then get out there and do it. 

Trust me when I say: You won’t regret it! 


Check out Nila Conzen’s Instagram and Facebook page for more such beautiful and thought-provoking writings.

Written By Nila Conzen
Originally Appeared In About The Good Life
I Am Not Who I Used To Be And That Is A Beautiful Thing Pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

When No Place Feels Like Home: 3 Ways To Find Where You Belong

Ways To Find Where You Belong: No Place Feels Like Home

To find where you belong, can be a nuanced journey, often filled with self-discovery and realizations about what makes a place feel like home. Here are three insightful ways to navigate this path, uncovering where you genuinely belong and creating a sanctuary that resonates with your inner self.

What do you do when NO place feels like home? What if when watching Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz clicking the heels of her ruby slippers three times and crying out that famous line – “there’s no place like home” – you found yourself shaking your head, feeling very much alone, and silently wishing that you HAD a place – ANY PLACE – that felt like home?

If that sounds like you, you’re not alone.

Up Next

How To Get Over Infatuation: 10 Tips For Gaining Emotional Balance In Relationships

How To Get Over Infatuation: Ten Tips To Gain Emotional Balance

Ever found yourself deeply infatuated with someone, experiencing an overwhelming rush of emotions that consumes your every thought? Infatuation can be an exhilarating experience, but it can also be a double-edged sword that leaves us feeling vulnerable and emotionally imbalanced. Let’s explore how to get over infatuation.

How to Get Over Infatuation

Whether you’re infatuated with someone who is not available or struggling with infatuation while being married, it’s important to find ways to navigate these intense feelings and regain your emotional equilibrium. 

Up Next

Understanding Atelophobia Symptoms: Fear Of Imperfection Unveiled

Understanding Atelophobia Symptoms And Seven Ways To Overcome

Do you ever find yourself plagued by self-doubt, constantly fearing failure, or feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to be perfect? If so, you might be experiencing atelophobia symptoms, a condition that affects countless individuals worldwide. 

Let us explore the depths of atelophobia, exploring its definition, symptoms, and related factors. By gaining a deeper understanding of this condition, we can empower ourselves and others to overcome the paralyzing fear of imperfection and embrace personal growth and self-acceptance.

Atelophobia Definition

Up Next

Your Mental Health Matters: 5 Habits You Need To Let Go Of Right Now

mental health matters

Everyone talks about the importance of having good physical health, and a healthy and strong body. But what about mental health, or rather the importance of good mental health? Just like physical health, mental health matters equally. 

As caregiver to my mom and sister, both of whom were diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I got good at pretending I was fine. From the outside looking in, I played the role of someone who had it all together.

On the rare occasion when somebody would ask me, “Are you okay?” or “What’s the matter?” my automatic responses would be “I’m fine” and “Nothing.” Few people ever bothered to

Up Next

“I’m Not Like Other Girls”: 5 Telltale Signs of A Pick Me Girl

Toxic Signs of A Pick Me Girl And How To Stop Being One

Ever heard of “Pick Me girls”? These are individuals who go to great lengths to prove they’re “not like other girls.” Let’s dive in and explore this phenomenon!

In this article, we’ll dive into what is a Pick Me Girl and, how to spot her, and provide examples to help you better understand this phenomenon.

What Is A Pick Me Girl?

Pick Me Girls are individuals, typically women, who go to great lengths to be chosen by someone they’re interested in romantically. They often believe that by being overly accommodating, agreeable, and submissive, they can

Up Next

What Is Emotional Constipation? 13 Symptoms and Ways You Can Release The Emotional Logjam For A Healthier You

What Is Emotional Constipation? Signs Of Blocked Emotions

Life today feels like a whirlwind. With endless tasks and pressures, it’s easy to side-line our feelings and emotions. This busy routine can lead you to a place where you’re stuffing down your emotions, a jam-up that’s often called – emotional constipation. In simple terms, it means you might be having a hard time understanding and expressing your real feelings.

Ever felt like you’re about to burst but don’t know why? Or you just can’t find the words to explain how you’re feeling? That’s a sign. This article will help you understand what is emotional constipation, major emotional constipation symptoms, and how to deal with emotional constipation, so that you can break free and get your emotional groove back.

Up Next

How To Calm Down Quickly? 5 Best Tried And Tested Self-Calming Methods

How To Calm Down Quickly? Five Best Self-Calming Methods

We all have moments when we feel extremely overwhelmed and stressed out, and no matter how hard we try, it feels impossible to calm down quickly. So, how to calm down quickly? This article is going to talk about some of the most effective ways to calm down quickly, that won’t be hard on you but will also be good for you in the long run. . 

When you experience intense anxiety, anger, or sadness, you might need to calm yourself. Do you know how? It’s important that you find self calming methods that work best for you. Give these methods a try!

How To Calm Down Quickly? 5 Best Self Calming Methods