How Being Too Nice Makes Your Life Miserable

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Are you being too nice all the time? Are you too considerate, too kind, too selfless, and too often bow, just to please others? Donโ€™t pat yourself on your back for being an awesomely amazing human beingโ€ฆYou are hurting yourself, andย you are at risk of depression.ย This blog explains how being too nice can make your life miserable.

Polish-born Elzbieta Pettingill, a former fashion model, and author, shares her experience with battling depression and tells you why, and how, you must start to love yourselfโ€ฆNOW.

Nice

STOP Living Someone Elseโ€™s Life

When you are always pleasant, happy, positive, smart, adjusting, caring, scared to speak your mind, change your personality unwillingly, hide your emotions, and unwittingly follow your friends/familyโ€™s diktats rather than your heart โ€“ ย you are living their life, not yours. STOP trying to live up to everyoneโ€™s expectations.

Stop worrying so much about what others are thinking about you: if โ€˜othersโ€™ care about you, they will love and accept you exactly for the way you are.

Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, famously said: โ€œCare about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.โ€

โ€œI wasnโ€™t myself. I wasnโ€™t who I am. I was a โ€œslaveโ€ to anyone who was willing to have me in their life. The fear of rejection always steered my thoughts into the direction that led others to benefit from it more than I did. How tiring was that!? How exhausting it is having to constantly put others before your own self! And how little reward you get at the end of itโ€ฆโ€

DO Things Because You Care โ€“ For Yourself

Donโ€™t do things because everyone expects you to. Being too nice and doing things because you know they are right. Stop spending all of your time on taking care of people who are important to you, or who can be important in the future. This need to please and care for others is deeply rooted in a fear of rejection. ย Fear of rejection is the underlying feeling that: โ€œIf I donโ€™t do everything I can to make this person happy they might leave or stop caring for me.โ€ย  When you please others to avoid being criticized, rejected or punished, you lose self-worth, which can wreak havoc in your life.

โ€œWhat do you do when the inevitable happens and when they leave? You blame yourself, of course. Consciously, or subconsciously, your already low self-esteem gets reinforced. It spirals downward in lightning speed and you get even more depressed, thinking that there is no tomorrow for youโ€ฆโ€

STAND Up For Yourself

Your significant others donโ€™t care as much as you think. What you think of you is your business, not theirs. While you donโ€™t have to be self-centered and egotistical, you donโ€™t have to put yourself into other peopleโ€™s shoes โ€“ all the time. The desire for connection and to fit in is one of the six basic human needs, but that doesnโ€™t mean you lose yourself in the process of seeking approval.

When you are addicted to external approval or opinion, you give your happiness remote to others, get easily manipulated, and accept unhealthy, abusive relationships as your destiny.

โ€œWho cares what others think and, or say? Let me just remind you โ€“ it shouldnโ€™t be you. There is only one person in this entire world whose opinion should matter to you, and that is YOU and you ONLY. There is only one person in this entire Universe that needs your pleasing, and that person is you. There is only one person, who needs your caring the most, and yes, youโ€™ve guessed it โ€“ itโ€™s you again.
โ€œJust remember this: if you care too much โ€“ others will care too littleโ€ฆ If you remain too available โ€“ others will always remain too busy for you. Without even being apologetic about it, people will always make you wait for them, making you feel as if your time is not nearly as valuable as theirs. You get the pictureโ€ฆโ€

If self-care and compassion baffle you? Here are 12 Tips To Self-Love And Compassion

LOVE Yourself

You must have heard the old saying:

No one is ever going to love you more than you love yourself.

And you must have brushed this thought aside, thinking self-love means being selfish. Well, when you donโ€™t love yourself enough, or in other words shower all your love on others to feel loved in return, you become clingy; donโ€™t recognize your own good qualities, donโ€™t praise yourself, donโ€™t take pride in your achievements. In short, you get into depression sooner or later, when the love of your life goes away from you.

โ€œMake yourself OK with being alone for now. Make yourself comfortable with being withโ€ฆ YOU. Get to know yourself. Find out exactly what your needs and desires are and then become unstoppable in fulfilling them! Be selfish. Youโ€™ve beenย accused of it so many times before, now itโ€™s time for you to show others (and yourself) how selfish you can really be! Renounce the guilt. Let go of it. Completely. Itโ€™s time to release it. Be your number one. Be bold. Be spontaneous. Learn to be yourself in every situation and around everyone. This is how you start to love yourselfโ€ฆโ€

Do you want to know more about depression and self-love? Know these 5 Things Next Time You Feel Depressed


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