9 Clever Mind Games Narcissists Play In Relationships

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6. The Divide and Conquer Game.

Well now that you are a couple, your friends or close members may have opinions or are too critical about your partner. Some are saying that he/she is an obnoxious brat or working too hard to make you fall in love. Despite knowing that your friends care, you find yourself pushing back because you are so in love with your narcissist partner.

On the other hand, your partner wants to spend more time with you and questions why you wish to spend time with your friends if they are always talking negatively about your relationship. So they use the divide and conquer game, a classic mind game that narcissists play while dating, where they tell you that you are special and are quick to criticize your friends and pointing at their flaws.

You know, of course, that your friends have flaws but he is portraying it in a different light. He disregards anyone who isn’t meeting his standards and all you can do is keep quiet because it feels easier.

7. The “No Commitment” Game.

Most narcissistic people often portray themselves as a commitment-phobe and claim to have a huge traumatic history behind it. They will tell you all kinds of stories like how their parents broke up or their ex-girlfriend or ex-wife broke their hearts and now they are just too damaged to commit. The traumatic heartbreak makes them fear commitment.

While for some people it may be a genuine fear, but for narcissists, it works as an escape strategy. So when you catch him with someone else, he can claim how he was honest with you from the beginning.

The narcissists always want all the power in the relationship and so he decides how far the relationship can go. He can shine a ray of hope for commitment when he feels that you are slipping away or be mean whenever he wants to.

Playing mind games
Playing mind games

8. The “Casanova” Game.

A casanova loves all the attention of the ladies. A narcissist with his natural charisma becomes a casanova and a cheater at the same time. So when you start dating it is important to pay attention to how he behaves with other women.

You may find him openly flirting with other women, paying too much attention to them, making them laugh, or lean in to whisper in their ear. This dating game is specifically designed to play on your jealousy and to portray he is attractive and desirable to other women too.

The Casanova game is directed to play on your insecurity and a fear of losing him. It’s just one of the things he does just to keep you in his game.

9. The “Love Bombing” Game.

Love bombing is a term often used to describe the initial phase of a relationship with a narcissist where they bombard their partner with affection to overwhelm and sweep them off their feet.

In the initial phase, they are extremely romantic, thoughtful, and passionate. They make you feel like you are the most important person in his life. However, it is more likely that you are not the first person to experience their love bombing.

Why do narcissists play dating games?

There may be several reasons why narcissists play mind games while dating or in relationships. They can include:

  • It puts the relationship in their favor.
  • A safe space to feed their ego.
  • They are usually looking for someone they can feed energy from and when they find the right person they don’t let go so easily.
  • In order to maintain control, they avoid close contact with their partner and prefer dominance over their partners.
  • Compensation for their restricted emotional capacity.

Related: How to outplay a narcissist and beat them at their own game?

What can you do?

In case you decide to break the relationship, keep in mind that narcissists are cunning people who know how to condition you according to their will. Hence it is of utmost importance to evaluate the situation and stick to the decision you’ve already made.

Narcissists are often victims of trauma and there may be a certain event that made them the way they are. This has ultimately made them devoid of empathy, love, and the ability to connect with others.

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