When looking for their next prey, there are certain things that a narcissist needs in a partner, which they can exploit for their selfish means. Don’t be flattered when they seem to shower all of their attention on you, because they have their own toxic, ulterior motives.
I hate to say this, but for some reason, I’m thinking that if you purposely choose to be with a narcissist – and if you are attracted to his False-Being – then you must be somewhat slightly narcissistic, too. Sorry 🙁
That said, I’m going to be even more brutally honest with you … making a narcissist fall in love with you ain’t never, ever gonna happen. Narcissists don’t feel love the way the rest of us do.
A narcissist will never say to him or herself, “I think I’m falling in love with this person.” Quite the contrary – a narcissist will only ask themselves if the person in question is ‘worthy’ of their time’, i.e. “What’s in it for me?”
However, you can make a narcissist fall in awe of you …
….and you can make a narcissist fall IN THE DESIRE TO BE ‘SEEN’ WITH YOU, but to make a narcissist fall in love with you is an impossible feat.
How to make a narcissist fall in love with you?
To attract a narcissist you only need three things:
1) Something he wants.
Money, a beneficial company position, a flashy car, a prominent television show, an influential or renowned family name…etc.
Related: What It Means When a Narcissist Says “I Love You”
2) Feed for his narcissistic ego.
The ability to give him a constant drip-feed of adoration, adulation, attention, and admiration. Never stop being in the ‘process’ of ‘falling’ in love.
Now, this is different from actually ‘being’ in love! ‘Falling’ in love is an entirely different process. It consists of irrational thinking, idealizing the other partner, and a series of incidents of awe-inspiring ‘newly formed revelations’ – or, rather, those ‘first discovered things’ about each other. (You can only discover these things about each other ONE time, after that you ‘know’ of them! But that would be a mistake when with a narcissist.)
For instance, you cannot keep discovering one’s beautiful blue eyes; you cannot keep being amazed by one’s repeated stories (or act as if it were the ‘first time’ you’ve heard it), you can’t constantly be impressed by the way their ringtone sounds…etc. Eventually, you will not be such a good catch. Your newness will have worn off and you will start to have minor complaints about each other – every couple in a relationship does.
Only with the narcissist, complaints about him are not allowed. A constant state of being in awe of him … and being impressed by him … is, however, allowed.
3) An intense network of people of ‘worth’.
A wide network of friends or associates of great popularity, or of notoriety who can be beneficial to the narcissist (film producers, the governor, rock stars, investors, talent scouts, booking agents, cruise ship captains, OJ’s or Casey Anthony’s defense attorneys, etc.)
Related: How Abusers Manipulate and Traumatize Their Victims
Bonus Asset #4
4) Good looks help.
If you’re attractive then that’s all the better, because he’ll look impressive with you on his arm. However, if you have only one of the three previous things, then attractiveness is not necessary, just the icing on his cake.
So, there you have it. Not exactly how to make a narcissist fall in love with you, but a way to attract one to you – and keep him there for a while. The rest is downhill from there.
OK, now that you have hooked the narcissist, you undoubtedly will eventually need help with overcoming the narcissist.
Written by Tigress Luv
This post originally appeared on Breakups.org
Response
Am I living with a narc. My partner has put drugs in my wine and tampered with my car. And he lies about things I have caught him out on. Inappropriate sites on his phones. He said he was hacked. Stalks me to no end when we split