Though this is a rather difficult lesson, all of us will be taught this at some point. Even when you love someone from the bottom of your heart and with all the power that you have to love, it might not be enough. They won’t be able to love you with the depth and passion that you feel for them. This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. The only problem is that they don’t care as much as you do about them.
When both partners aren’t on the same page, it can lead to a lot of confusion.
Firstly, both of you aren’t communicating at the same frequency.
Secondly, one party has a lot more influence on the other.
What are the signs that your relationship isn’t balanced? How can you tell whether he is putting in as much effort as you are?
In a relationship, it is absolutely essential that you be aware of your partner’s thoughts regarding the bond between you two. Only by reading him can you be sure about where you stand with each other. This way you’ll be able to do something to bring about a balance in your relationship if it is becoming one-sided. Continuing in an unbalanced state will only end in heartbreak and misery for you. Rather than just ignoring it and hoping it goes away, acknowledges it and give it the importance it is due.
Of course, the first thing you need to know is how to find out if any such issue exists. Some symptoms will start showing up and you need to pay careful attention so that you don’t miss them.
Below are the usual symptoms that you are more committed to the relationship than your partner:
1) He Never Makes Any Plans For The Two Of You On His Own
Whenever you do an activity together, be it a simple night out to your favorite restaurant or a weekend out of town, you’ll find yourself doing all the planning. When he doesn’t offer any input, he’s probably not as into the relationship as you are. He doesn’t feel the need to keep the spark going or any desire to strengthen whatever connection might exist between the two of you. Spending quality time together is essential for all relationships and all the work of keeping your relationship together falls to you because he doesn’t care.
2) He Doesn’t Discuss Any Future Goals
On his own accord, he doesn’t talk about where his life is going with you. Even if you ask him about it, he will act evasively as if you don’t have a place in whatever kind of life he’s envisioning for himself. No matter how much you attempt to be included, he won’t let you in. If you’re not a part of his future, it is very likely that he doesn’t really care whether you’re a part of his present or not. If he truly loves you, he’ll be doing all he can to ensure that you’re part of whatever he’s planning to do.
3) You Haven’t Met The People He’s Close To
Meeting the family is an important milestone for a romantic relationship. As partners, you’re consciously making the decision to allow that person into the life you share with your family and friends. He’s not really making any investment into your relationship if he doesn’t ask you to meet the other people in his life that he cares about. There’s a whole part of his life that you don’t have access to and he wants to keep it that way. If you’ve been together a while and he doesn’t let you in, he may never do it.
4) He Makes No Attempt To Learn More About You
If he truly loves you, he’ll try to learn everything about every single aspect of who you are as a person. He’ll talk to you about your passions, your interest and your innermost desires. He’ll keep asking you what you’re feeling and what’s running through your mind all the time. If he’s not very interested in what makes you the person you are, that means he’s not too keen about the relationship as well.
5) He Takes Everything About Your Relationship Very Lightly
Along with all the plans, you seem to be the one person who cares about dealing with any issues that might crop up between the two of you. You do your best to have an honest conversation about things you feel might be bothering him or the things that do bother you. Whenever something goes wrong, you have to be the person who points it out no matter how much it may hurt you. And through all this, he doesn’t really pay attention to any of these matters and watches your relationship as though he is outside of it. Even if there are obvious ways to improve your connection he never pays attention to those things because you are way more in love with him than he is in you.
If this is the scenario you find yourself stuck in, it is best to cut your losses and leave. Tell him how you feel and walk away. It is never worth it to give all your love to a person who doesn’t return it in the same way. You deserve all the happiness you can get but it is up to you to find it.
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