What It’s Like To Be An INFJ Empath and 5 Tips For Staying Strong


, , ,
Be An INFJ Empath Tips

INFJs tend to be more sensitive than others, they are prone to empathizing and giving. They can feel overwhelmed by any negativity and unempathetic people, that’s why it’s crucial for them to stay strong as their sensitivity goes much deeper than any other. Being an INFJ empath can be one of the best, and at the same time emotionally draining, experiences of one’s life.

You are never more alone than when you are in a crowd filled with disingenuous people. You are never more at peace than when you’re connected with another highly empathic being.

You seek comfort in the words of people who understand complex and abstract ideas. Your energy is often drained by those who lack empathy and compassion. It is revived by those in your tribe who truly get you.

You are often the first to “know” and “sense” when there is something off about someone or a situation – an alienating experience when no one else is there to validate it with you.

You long to be “normal” but belonging in any group usually means sacrificing a part of yourself, and while sacrificing yourself for others is your forte, it’s not one you can risk when it comes to your integrity.

You get a natural high from communicating from the deep center of your highest truth. You drag yourself low when you are placed off-center by those who try to feed you falsehoods about yourself and others. You can get derailed easily by the toxic vibes of others and put back on track when absorbed in your inner voice and guidance – or perhaps by an uplifting message from a friend who genuinely cares.

True friends and partners are hard to come by but when they do come along, they are cherished and thoughtfully tended to – mindfully and graciously, each and every time. Your interactions with other empathic beings are sacred ones and you honor them with a loyalty that might surprise others.

Related: Are you an INFJ? 14 Signs Of A Genuine INFJ Personality

Relationships with others can result in spiritual transcendence or spiritual blockages. You’re overwhelmed by the hatred in the world; bullies, predators, and naysayers can make a meal out of your emotions. They feast on your sensitivity and your perceived gentleness. Yet these people tend to be your greatest teachers and incentives for personal growth and transformation.

Beneath the gentleness, there is a fiery, complex, multifaceted being, waiting to set the world on fire with his or her truth. But you reveal yourself by layers – one by one – and it can take a lifetime for someone to really know you. Some never do. Sometimes, you’re not even sure you fully know yourself.

infj empath
What It’s Like To Be An Infj Empath

You try to find the meaning in everything, and your soul feels most fulfilled when you are giving back with what you’ve learned through your experiences and the endless dialogues you have with yourself. Pondering the world, pondering the intentions and motives of others, and your place in the universe.

You feel the sacred connectedness of every action, every reaction, and every person that comes into your path because you intuitively understand that they are part of your life’s journey. In your world, synchronicities are miracles and you are hungry for deep connections with others.

No matter how weak or overwhelmed or helpless you’ve felt, you move through the world with a quiet resolve, an inner strength that is unparalleled for the adversity you may have faced.

This is what it’s like to be an INFJ (the Myers-Brigg Personality type indicating a person who is introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging) who is also an empath. Being an empath doesn’t mean you are necessarily an INFJ as empaths can be from a variety of personality types, but INFJs tend to be natural empaths.

Due to our high sensitivity, eerily on-point intuition, and rich inner worlds, we have a lot to give to the world as the rarest personality type. We find unconventional and conventional ways to share our gifts in ways that can change the lives of others, including our own. We tend to be the healers of the world. Yet the world takes a lot from us, quite easily, and we usually need a great deal of solitude to recharge.

Empaths soak up the emotions of others. They tend to become enmeshed with other people’s identities. They get tangled up in the energy of other beings very easily. They are also very attractive to a wide variety of people because they’re authentic, sensitive, and good listeners – so they attract both good people as well as toxic ones who tend to take advantage of their compassion.

While being an empath can be exhausting, it is also a gift to be able to connect and heal others. It is a gift to be immensely intuitive, to connect to the pain of others because we tend to have the most nourishing relationships with people who are also empathic. Many empaths who are also INFJ’s benefit from using their gifts in professions that heal, care for, or counsel others.

Related: 9 Humbling Life Lessons I’ve Learned As An INFJ

Being an INFJ empath means we have to protect ourselves very carefully and wisely. Because empaths have such porous boundaries in terms of how they’re enmeshed energetically and emotionally with others, it’s important to filter out negative, toxic people as well as negative energy by giving ourselves some sacred vows to live by in terms of what we will and won’t tolerate in our relationships.

There are five tips that I’ve learned from being an INFJ empath that may help in resolving a notorious inner conflict we experience: save the world or save ourselves? The answer lies in both – saving the world while creating very strong boundaries that will ultimately save ourselves.

Here Are 5 Steps To Staying Strong If You Are An INFJ Empath

1. Boundaries

As both introverts and empaths, we may have difficulty asserting our rights with others, but learning to communicate our boundaries in a healthy way is vital for us to stay grounded in our integrity. I always advise others to make a non-negotiable contract of boundaries. These are at least 10 sacred vows you make with yourself about what you won’t tolerate in any relationship of any kind.

These can be very basic or specific and customized to your needs and standards (i.e. I won’t tolerate any form of abuse vs. I won’t tolerate anyone who speaks condescendingly to me.) Then, make sure you follow through with ending a toxic interaction even before it’s had time to build by recognizing when your boundary is being crossed, asserting your boundary, and reinforcing it by taking yourself out of the toxic interaction altogether if it is not addressed appropriately.

2. Extreme self-care.

infj empath
What It’s Like To Be An Infj Empath

Extreme self-care is asking yourself every day, “What do I need at this moment?”. This practice acknowledges how self-care is selfless, rather than selfish – because the more energy you have within yourself, the more energy you have to give to the world.

It means addressing your needs almost as attentively as you would the needs of a child, being in tune with how your energy feels, and nurturing yourself without apologies or excuses.

If your need is to get some sleep, it may be better for you to finish up that project tomorrow. If the need is to have fun, perhaps you need to schedule a night every week where you can go out with friends or get some downtime.

If your need is for solitude, maybe it’s time for some quiet meditation and reflection. Whatever it is that you need in order to replenish your reserves, do it. The world needs you and your gorgeous energy.

Related: Reasons Why The Sensitive INFJ Removes People From Their Life With The InSensitive Door-Slam

3. Energy work.

Empaths can pick up on residual energy and be deeply affected by the energetic vibrations of others. Cleansing your energy means clearing your sacred spaces – physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and sexually. Engage in forms of exercise that you love to cleanse your body of trapped energy, do yoga, meditate, clear the clutter in your physical spaces.

Don’t be intimate with those who are toxic. Connect with the power of nature as a sacred space of healing. Energy clearing can take any form you feel is right for you – whether it be a chakra healing meditation or a session on the treadmill, do whatever you can to keep yourself as cleansed as possible of toxic energies so that you can reconnect with your natural, uplifting energy. 

4. Visualization.

Imagining a barrier around you that separates you from others can help remind you that you are an independent entity. This can be any barrier you feel represents you; imagine yourself bathed in white light or surrounded by a brick wall that deflects any negative energies coming your way.

Visualization is all about reinforcing this idea that you don’t have to take on the feeling states and projections of others. You have a right to your own energy, your own viewpoint, and your own perspective about yourself. You can stay grounded in your own truth and not have to take on the pain of others. 

5. Selective community.

Surround yourself with only those who respect your boundaries and those who appreciate you and see your worth. INFJ empaths may have a hard time connecting with superficial people but may be pressured by society to conform and go with the crowd. Please don’t sacrifice your uniqueness to fit in.

The world needs your gentle guidance, your beautiful spirit, and your creative mind. Don’t chase after toxic people who undermine you, belittle you, and demean your dreams or your insights. The people who will really see you for the treasure you are the keepers. You deserve to be just as respected, honored and cherished as any other personality type in this world. As an INFJ, you have a right to honor and love yourself.

Related: The INFJ and the Toxic Narcissist

Copyright © 2014, 2015, 2016 by Shahida Arabi. 

All rights reserved. No part of this entry, which is an excerpt from a copyrighted book, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author. This includes adaptations in all forms of media.
This blog and all of its entries are owned by Shahida Arabi and protected under DMCA against copyright infringement.  DMCA.com Protection Status

Inspired by the post? Instead of reiterating ideas from this post or posting it in its entirety without permission – please consider sharing the link through social media.

What it’s Like to be an INFJ Empath and 5 Tips for Staying Strong
What it’s Like to be an INFJ Empath Pin
What It’s Like To Be An Infj Empath And 5 Tips For Staying Strong
Be An INFJ Empath Tips pin
What It’s Like To Be An Infj Empath And 5 Tips For Staying Strong
Be INFJ Empath Tips
What It’s Like To Be An Infj Empath And 5 Tips For Staying Strong

— Share —

— About the Author —


  1. Brooke Colwell Avatar
    Brooke Colwell

    I am confused. Why do I see two different comments, one from Smart Girl’s Guide and the other by the author of Smart Girl’s Guide, who also blogs on Safe Haven, it looks like? Trying to figure out if this is a junk spam site, and posting content without author’s permission tells me a lot. Just attributing to the rightful owner isn’t enough Im afraid. I expect a legit site to not steal or plagarize.
    I am going to go check out author on her own platform. Great writing.

    1. Brooke Colwell Avatar
      Brooke Colwell

      How do I edit / delete my reply?,

Leave a Reply

Up Next

8 Ways To Build Self Empathy And Stop Beating Yourself Up

Ways To Build Self Empathy And Stop Beating Yourself Up

Stop the cycle of negativity and embrace compassion towards yourself. Learn these 8 essential ways to build self empathy, and shift from self-criticism to self-care!

(Adapted from The Genius of Empathy by Judith Orloff MD, 2024 Sounds True Publishing)

How you treat yourself profoundly effects your health and well-being.

What is self-empathy? Why can it seem so elusive when it is so good for us? It often seems so much easier to have empathy with others than yourself.

Self-empathy is a commitment to being caring rather than shaming or punishing with yourself, especially if you’ve made a mistake.

Up Next

Empathic Leadership: 5 Top Traits Of Leaders Who Lead With Heart

Empathic Leadership: Clear Traits Of An Empathetic Leader

Empathic leadership is all about leading with heart. Let’s explore the top 5 traits of an empathetic leader and how to truly be compassionate and effective in connecting with your team.

Empathy is a vital leadership skill in our world.

There’s a hunger for empathic leadership in many organizations including corporations, governments, medical centers, and small businesses across the globe.

What Is Empathic Leadership?

Recently the Global Empathy Index, which is published in the Harvard Business Review, examined data from employees’ responses to questions ranging from a CEO’s approval ranking to their own happiness level in their job.

Up Next

What Is A Sigma Empath? 5 Signs Of A Sigma Empath You Can’t Afford To Ignore

What Is A Sigma Empath? Signs To Look Out For

Have you ever come across someone who possesses an aura of mystery, strength, and deep sensitivity? Then you might just have encountered a rare and fascinating personality type – the Sigma Empath. But wait, what is a sigma empath?

A Sigma Empath seems to exude a quiet confidence, often choosing solitude over social gatherings. They possess an uncanny ability to understand the emotions of others, almost effortlessly. 

Let’s unravel the enigma surrounding the Sigma Empath, exploring what sets them apart, the signs that distinguish them, and the remarkable traits that define their personality.

What is a Sigma Empath?

The term “Sigma Empath” refers to a uniqu

Up Next

6 Most Empathic Zodiac Signs: Are You One of Them?

Most Empathic Zodiac Signs: Do You Have The Super Power?

We all know what empathy is; it’s seeing things through the eyes of someone else, not just understanding their emotions, but feeling them too! And the 6 most empathic zodiac signs are natural at this!

These are the most compassionate zodiac signs owing to their innate zodiac traits. But before delving into what zodiac signs are empaths, let’s understand what is empathy first.

What Is Empathy?

Up Next

Are Empaths On The Autism Spectrum? Exploring Similarities And Uniqueness

Are Empaths on the Autism Spectrum? Important Similarities

Ever thought, “are empaths on the autism spectrum”? Let’s explore the shared traits and unique aspects of both. Discover the gifts and hurdles that come with being an empath or being on the autism spectrum.

Are Empaths on the Autism Spectrum?

autism and empathy

I often get asked the question “Are empaths on the autistic spectrum” because of their similar tendencies to experience sensory overload from noise, ligh

Up Next

Empath or Enabler? Truths About Toxic Empathy And 5 Ways To Break Free

How Toxic Empathy Is Ruining Your Life and What You Can Do

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be overly sensitive and emotionally drained by the problems of others? Can too much empathy be harmful? Is there such a thing as toxic empathy?

While empathy is considered a valuable trait that promotes understanding and compassion, there is a lesser-known phenomenon called toxic empathy that can have detrimental effects on both the empath and those around them. 

Today, let us explore what is toxic empathy disorder, what causes toxic empathy, can too much empathy be a bad thing, and learn strategies to deal with it.

What is Toxic Empathy?

Up Next

Empath Vs Empathetic: 7 Differences Between An Empath And Empathetic Person

Empath Vs Empathetic: Differences Between The Two

When we talk about feelings for others, two words often come up: “empath” and “empathetic person.” While they may seem similar, there are quite a few differences between these two terms. This article is going to discuss the differences between an empath vs empathetic person.

Think of an empath as someone who feels what others feel, like they can actually feel other people’s emotions. On the other hand, an empathetic person understands and cares about others’ emotions but doesn’t absorb them as their own.

Read on to know more about the spectrum of being an empath vs empathetic person.