9 Humbling Life Lessons I’ve Learned As An INFJ

Humbling Life Lessons I’ve Learned as an INFJ

Are you an INFJ? If yes then you can surely relate to my INFJ lessons about life!

We are thought of as the Counselors, the Visionaries, the Confidants of humanity. We are defined as introspective, sensitive, caring, and complex people.

It was in early 2009 when I first discovered the Myer Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and its subsequent 16 personality types developed and patented by Katherine Briggs and Isabel Myers. Discovering my MBTI personality type: the INFJ, was the beginning of a long period of self-discovery that still continues to this day. If you haven’t been acquainted with MBTI, I really encourage you to read more into it after this article.

Related:14 Signs Of A Genuine INFJ Personality

While labels can be restrictive and limiting, I personally found that identifying as an INFJ assisted me in better understanding who I am and why I think, feel, and behave the way I do. Any form of personality classification is an excellent way of understanding and accepting yourself and the people around you, and is a useful component in soul work.

Realizations, Epiphanies And Life Lessons

Said to exist in approximately 1-3% of the population, INFJ’s are somewhat the underdogs in the world of personality types, constituting a smaller than average percentage of people in society.

Additionally, it seems common for the INFJ to display Highly Sensitive and Empathic traits. Many INFJ’s (not all), also identify as Old Souls.

Related: The INFJ Personality Types and Their Demons

Through my years of self-discovery, I’ve found that I am both an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and display Empathic abilities. I’ve also shared some thoughts on being an Old Soul, having written a novella on the subject last year. Keeping all these factors in mind, these are some of the most humbling life lessons I’ve learned in the past few years, many of them thanks to my INTJ coauthor, best friend, and partner Sol. Read on to know the INFJ lessons

Lesson #1 You want to solve everyone’s problems …

… You realize some problems aren’t made to solve. Problems provide a catalyst for change and can offer valuable life lessons to the ones experiencing them. Therefore, it’s not always our place to fix people’s issues. With enough experience and discernment, we realize that some problems are out of our grasp and control for a reason.

Lesson #2 You find it almost impossible to find anyone who speaks the same “language” as you …

… You realize other people also speak unique languages that aren’t necessarily understood, or reciprocated, by you. It’s easy to feel misunderstood and frustrated with social encounters, but just as there are many races on earth, so too are there many languages of the mind and heart. You feel frustrated that people don’t reciprocate the same level of interaction as you, but what makes you think that you don’t reciprocate on the exact same level as them? You aren’t alone in your frustration.

Related: 8 Paradoxes of An INFJ Personality Type That Makes Them The Most Misunderstood People On Earth

Lesson #3 You are tired of carrying the emotional baggage of others, but feel guilty for not being there for them …

… You realize that it’s completely fine and healthy to take time off for yourself. You must show love and consideration for yourself in order to show the full extent of your love and consideration to others.

Lesson #4 You are loyal to a fault, and are bitter that other people you care for aren’t …

… You realize that no two people are the same. People have their virtues and faults, and you are free to guide your loyalty elsewhere. There are many other loyal people in the world.

Lesson #5 You are disappointed at how bland and shallow people are …

… You realize that people are on different wavelengths from you, and haven’t necessarily developed the same mental or emotional faculties as you have. That’s fine. People have different interests and different capabilities, and you are certainly not alone at the end of the day. There are people out there like you.

Lesson #6 You often feel alienated, alone and like an “outsider” …

… You realize that your inner Solitude is a valuable gift that helps you deepen your visions, insights, and revelations. You also see that no matter how you feel, there is always someone else who understands how you feel and what you are going through.

Related: INFJ – The Worlds Rarest Personality Type. Signs You Are ONE Of Them.

Lesson #7 When you feel, you feel very deeply …

… You realize that although being an emotional person has its benefits, it’s also a good idea to learn how to step away from your emotions for your own well-being. Learning how to be a detached observer is also very beneficial.

Lesson #8 You long for a deep and meaningful job, relationship and friendship, but become easily let down …

… You realize that true happiness and fulfillment can only come from within. Seeking for external happiness in the form of idealistic interpersonal connections, jobs, and so forth, will only create disappointment and unhappiness.

Related: Reasons Why The Sensitive INFJ Removes People From Their Life With The InSensitive Door-Slam

Lesson #9 You are a visionary and highly idealistic person …

… You realize that while idealism can motivate you and guide you, it can also be limiting and psychologically unhealthy. Practicality must be balanced with impracticality in order to build an equalized person.

Living life as an INFJ can be both problematic and frustrating, as well as magical and enthralling. I hope these INFJ lessons about life have resonated with your own experiences, or at least serve as the catalyst for more positive change in your life.

Any of your own uniquely experienced life lessons (whether you’re an INFJ, IN__, or not) will be welcomed in the comments below!

Written by Aletheia Luna
Originally appeared on Lonerwolf

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  1. Chuck Avatar

    Great article. So true.
    I have experienced everything on this list at one point in time, and some things, every single day of my life.

    The worst thing about being an INFJ is the lack of real connection with people.
    Most people are too stupid, shallow and ignorant, to have meaningful conversations with, and very few make any effort or seem to care about anything other than themselves.

    Some people get passionate about politics and yet never bother to learn anything about the issues they claim to care about, just get emotional and throw temper tantrums and do nothing constructive for those causes.

    Many men have been raised to be emotionally retarded and most women were raised to believe they have no responsibility for their actions and choices.

    Everyone was raised with all different messed up ideas about love, happiness, relationships, and with culture norms that contradict and destroy lives if you don’t fit into boxes, no one, or very, very few, have ever fit into.

    People get married and don’t even have the same idea what that even means to each other.
    People think they “should” get married, or have kids, because that is “what people do”. That is what some people do, but not everyone is going to be happy with that life and find out way too late.

    Being a male, INFJ, is painful because most places if employment prefer extroverts, and in finding love, women make absolutely no effort at all. Modern day dating is exploitive and people are not looking for anything real, just hook ups and game playing.

    I think everyone is hurt and confused with the culture we live in today. Instead of men and women coming together and healing, people are hurting each other. Generations of hurting people hurting each other, thinking that hate is the answer.

    Hating white people won’t end racism, it is racism. Hating men won’t end sexism, it is sexism. Hating straight people won’t end homophobia, or help anyone understand transgender people’s struggles.
    Hating people, hoping that they will love you for it, is like the saying about jealousy. “Jealousy is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die”.

    Hate drives away people that want to help you. We have to be better than the people that hate us. It is not easy, but love is the only way.

    I might have got a little off track, but you get the idea, right? Being an INFJ is a pain, but I wouldn’t want to be any other way.

    I just wish a nice, stable woman would come along and ask me if I want to go to an all you can eat taco buffet and discuss taking over the world, together… You know, a woman that is a true romantic at heart.

    Similarly, if there are guys out there that want to make an awesome new friend, they also, should take me out for all you can eat tacos.

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