When it comes to the emotion of love, it is not always as simple as it seems. Yes, love makes life better. Love makes life worth living, but not everyone has the capacity of loving other people. The sad part is that this happens more often than you would like to admit. People who are incapable of loving someone, are actually people who don’t love themselves, and unless you love yourself, how can you love someone else?
Do you know what the worst part of all this is? Sometimes, you end up falling in love with someone, but because they are incapable of loving someone else, you don’t get your feelings reciprocated. And most of the time, this leads to a broken heart, and chances are it will be yours.
Here Are 8 Signs That Show When A Person Is Incapable Of Love
1. They always criticize others.
All those people who find it difficult to love someone else, display a habit of excessive criticism towards other people. They never consider the fact that they might be a part of the problem, and instead always hold others responsible for all the bad things that happen. Extremely close-minded, they live under the illusion that they are perfect and they can never be wrong.
And even if they do realize that they might be the culprit, they will either feign ignorance or they will continue to dump their harsh opinions on the people they know for a fact will stand by them, no matter what.
2. They are pioneers when it comes to excuses.
Another major sign that someone is incapable of loving someone else, is that they are experts when it comes to making excuses. If they do anything bad that might hurt you or offend you, instead of apologizing for it, they will hide behind a barrage of excuses. They will justify why they did what they did, and will always expect you to understand where they were coming from. How you feel never matters, but how they feel is always the most important thing.
They will never acknowledge their flaws or their negative attitude, and will always make you seem like the reason for their bad behavior. It is always you or others in the wrong, never them.
Related: 6 Signs He Is Incapable Of Love
3. They hate communication.
Because they are exceptionally narrow-minded and do not have the capability to love, they fail miserably when it comes to the art of communication. Even if something is bothering them, and they know that others are willing to help them deal with it, they would rather let those feelings fester in them than talk about them. They will keep on bottling their negative feelings up and will let all of that negativity control them all the time.
Sometimes, they will expect other people to understand everything on their own and support them. And in case others fail to do that, they will blame them and shame them for not loving them enough. It’s like, you can never do anything right, and no matter how hard you try to be there for them, it’s always a lose-lose situation for you.
4. They are unhappy people at their core.
Probably one of the biggest reasons why some people are incapable of loving others is because they are unhappy from the inside. Unless you are happy about who you are and how you are, you can never be happy with someone else. You need to be okay with who you are as a person, and you need to be okay with yourself. Nobody can make you happy unless you do it yourself.
If you don’t love yourself first, how can you expect to love someone else? Self-love and self-happiness are crucial when it comes to love and healthy relationships. And people who are unhappy from the inside will always be incapable of love.
5. They never fight for others.
People who are incapable of loving others tend to be very self-obsessed and narcissistic by nature. They only fight for themselves and the things that benefit them. Selflessness is something they do not understand, and you will never see them do anything purely out of the goodness of their hearts. Even if they do something good for someone else, chances are they will have an ulterior motive and hidden agenda behind that.
If they are in a relationship with someone, they never hesitate to break up if they feel that it is not serving them any kind of purpose. The concepts of compromise and sacrifice are nothing less than foreign to them. They only care about themselves and their needs, but never anyone else’s
Related: 8 Signs You’re In Love With A Difficult Person
6. They don’t show any personal growth.
In order to be better human beings and better partners, personal growth is important. Being stagnant in only one place emotionally and mentally, never helps. Yet that is exactly what such people do. They will never try to understand what the other person is feeling or saying, and will always have an i-don’t-care attitude towards them. They are just not interested in being better human beings and always have stunted emotional intelligence and growth.
In order to love someone the right way, it is important to be a better person. It is important to understand that self-improvement and self-growth is a continuous process, and also a necessary one. But if someone doesn’t believe in this, they will always be incapable of loving others and will keep on hurting them, in the process of satisfying their humongous ego.
7. They are very inflexible.
Being close-minded and inflexible in their ways is like second nature to people who don’t have the capacity to love others. They are always dead-set in their ways and refuse to change their bad habits, no matter what you do or say to them. Such people are extremely toxic, who only expect others to understand them and adjust with them. And the worst part is, they know how much their actions affect you and hurt you, but they keep on doing the same things over and over again because they simply don’t care.
No matter how much you try to convince them, counsel them or make them understand what they are doing is wrong, they will refuse to budge from their opinions, and nor will they change their actions. They will be very stubborn when it comes to holding on to their toxic beliefs, and will rather ask you to change your thinking and behavior, to accommodate theirs.
8. They always shut you out.
People who find it hard to love others, tend to emotionally withdraw a lot too. This is because they find it very hard and emotionally consuming to talk about their true feelings, and almost always expect their partners to silently understand them. Not this is a challenge, right, and a major one at that? Nobody is a mind reader, but somehow they always expect their loved ones to correctly gauge their true feelings.
This leads to a lot of miscommunication and confusion, where you don’t have an idea about what they are thinking, or what their expectations are from you. You might think that everything is okay between the two of you, but in reality, they are just pushing you further away from them, and before you know it, the relationship is over for good.
Related: When You Love Someone Who Can’t Accept Love
If you are in a relationship with someone, who is incapable of loving you, then you might know all these things, because you have encountered these signs firsthand. Being with a person like this might be one of the most difficult things you will ever do in your life, but at the end of the day, it is up to you to decide what works best for you, your happiness, and your mental health.
You can either wait for them to change or you can leave the relationship to take better care of yourself, and give yourself a true chance at finding happiness.
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