8 Signs You’re In Love With A Difficult Person

 / 

,
Signs In Love With Difficult Person

You know you are in love with a difficult person when every day seems like a battle. Every little thing turns into an argument, and God forbid, you disagree with them on something! You know you are in love with a difficult person when most of the time you are busy pacifying them for something you didn’t even do in the first place.

When you first met him — he seemed confident, charming, and challenging (in an intriguing way). Now, he just seems like a jerk.

Or, perhaps when you first met her, she seemed mysterious, delightfully unpredictable, and she kept you guessing in the most alluring way. Now, she seems like an alien.

Love-hate relationships seem funny, and even romantic … in the movies. But in real life, they wreak havoc on your health and happiness.

Once you get involved with difficult people, you’ll second-guess yourself constantly and question your sanity whenever you try to solve everyday issues. It’s even more problematic when you’re married to one!

It’s important to know that for difficult people, much of their behavior is a result of their early life situations. You see, it’s not that your partner WON’T play nice; he or she CAN’T. And you can’t make them or fix them, either.

Yes, it’s frustrating. You’re considerate. You bend. You overextend, make excuses, give them space, support them, and give in. You don’t expect too much, but nothing changes. It’s infuriating, and the happy relationship you hoped for feels miserable and, sometimes, even hopeless.

You might have been so well-raised that you think, “If only I was more patient, more nurturing, more kind and understanding, then this crazy-making would stop.” You look to yourself as the first source of the problem. It’s always a good start, but in this case, it’s time to stop that.

You need to look squarely at these eight traits and see how many your partner has. If it’s a lot, then you’ll probably want to get some help in managing your relationship

Keep in mind that difficult people … 

Here Are 8 Signs You’re In Love With A Difficult Person

1. Make you question if you can trust them.

You tell yourself that you’re safe with them, but all too often you find there are cracks in the foundation, and they misplace your trust. They go so far that you feel like a bad person for not trusting them, even though you know you cannot.

2. Are hard to communicate with.

In fact, communication with them is vague. Nothing ever seems permanently pinned down. Everything is in flux. Decisions you think you made together get changed, negated, or twisted. That leaves you twisting in the wind.

Related: 6 Differences Between A Mature Relationship and An Immature Relationship

3. Have no real interest in stopping the conflicts.

They seem bound and determined to keep them going … and you’re right—these people thrive on conflict and want to keep things in a state of constant chaos.

4. Won’t let you get close to them emotionally.

As soon as you get too close (by their definition), they do something to break the connection. Yet, strangely, they tell you that you are the one who is emotionally distant. People with these traits fear closeness, all the while claiming that they don’t get enough of it. Crazy-making!

5. Blame you for everything.

It’s always your fault. It’s NEVER their fault. If, by chance, you’re not the one blamed, then it’s the weather, the family, the office, the government, or God. For that reason, you often finally give up trying to solve problems, and too often, you give in. Attempts at being rational with them are exhausting. You can’t be right because they cannot be wrong!

Related: The 11 Fights Every Couple Must Conquer to Have a Strong Marriage

6. Act on feelings, not facts.

Their response to any situation is how they feel about it, not focusing on what actually happened. Because they feel it, it makes it so, and what you think has no bearing on the matter. They also make assumptions and presumptions about your ideas, feelings, motives, and needs. They won’t ask you directly. They honestly believe — and need to believe — that they know you better than and more in-depth than you know yourself.

7. Refuse — and are likely incapable of — self-reflection.

When you are so busy making assumptions about your partner, and knowing that your partner is always wrong, why bother with introspection? Also, self-reflection is for courageous people who are not afraid of life. People with the traits described here find the very idea of looking inward completely terrifying.

8. Operate from fear at all times.

That is why every disagreement is a possible war. They fear any conversation they cannot control. That’s why nothing is ever their fault; they’re petrified that the opposite is a possibility.

If these traits set off alarm bells for you, don’t panic. When your partner has these traits, you will either argue a whole lot, or one of you will shut down, withhold, and dish out the silent treatment. Neither strategy will work.

Related: Never Marry These 8 Type Of Guys, no matter how head over heels you are in love

If you love your partner and you want the relationship to work, you’ll need some expert help to shift your thinking, move away from blame, and establish some new patterns of interaction. Unfortunately, you’ll need to change first. Only then will you know what’s possible for the relationship.

Crazy-making behaviors may still persist, but you can put an end to second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity.

Underneath, he still is confident and charming; she still is mysterious and delightful, but you need help. You cannot solve this on your own.

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD


Written by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Love With A Difficult Person
8 Signs You’Re In Love With A Difficult Person
Signs In Love With Difficult Person pin
8 Signs You’re In Love With A Difficult Person

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

The Pebbling Love Language: Inspired By Penguins To Transform Relationships

What Is Pebbling Love language? Tips To Spark Love

For some people love doesn’t mean big actions and expensive presents, but rather small things matter the most to them. So here’s pebbling love language – inspired by penguins. Let’s find out if you have this language of love without even knowing it.

What Is Pebbling Love language?

To attract a partner, male Gentoo penguins offer female penguins little stones or pebbles, to help build their nests.

Although humans don’t exchange rocks as a token of love, but the idea of penguin pebbling love language operates on the same basic principle of making someo



Up Next

Can TikTok’s ‘Meeting Someone Twice Theory’ Really Lead To Love?

Meeting Someone Twice Theory: Best Examples

Has a person ever crossed your path and then reappeared at another point in your life, causing you to feel like you have some kind of unexplainable bond with them? According to the newest idea from TikTok, Meeting Someone Twice Theory – is a meaningful thought that says love often needs a second chance.

So let’s learn how the universe might be making these things happen on purpose.

What Is The Meeting Someone Twice Theory?

You meet someone in passing at a coffee shop, party or on the street. You exchange fleeting pleasantries, maybe share a laugh or a conversation, and then life goes on as usual.

But then, weeks or months or years later, you cross paths again and th



Up Next

How To Forgive A Cheater And Move Forward: A Relationship Guide

How To Forgive A Cheater And Move On: A Relationship Guide

Trying to forgive a cheater can be one of the toughest challenges in a relationship, but it’s not impossible. Here’s a guide to help you heal your heart and move forward with confidence, grace and peace.

Did you know that around forty percent of unmarried relationships and twenty-five percent of marriages have at least one instance of infidelity?

If your partner has cheated on you, you’re not alone. Betrayal can be one of the most painful experiences in a relationship.

But it’s important to remember that forgiveness is not about excusing the behavior or forgetting what happened. It’s about letting go of the hurt and anger so that you can move forward.

In this guide, you will learn practical steps for how to forgive a cheater, inc



Up Next

7 Common Trauma Beliefs Preventing You From Finding Love

Common Trauma Beliefs Preventing You From Finding Love

Are you still single, even after putting in a lot of effort to find love? The answer might lie in your trauma beliefs. Yes, you heard me right. Trauma beliefs are the deep-seated, often subconscious notions formed from past painful experiences that shape how you see yourself and relationships, in general.

Beliefs caused by trauma can act as invisible barriers, keeping you from finding and maintaining love. If you are tired of feeling stuck in the same old patterns, it’s time to dig into these 7 trauma beliefs that might be sabotaging your love life.

So, are you ready to know all the ways trauma is keeping you single? Come on, let’s find out together.

Related:



Up Next

3 Relationship Check In Questions On Love, According To A Psychologist

Relationship Check In Questions For Couples In Love

It’s common for us to push relationships down our list of priorities when we get busy. We think we’ll make up for lost time later, assuming everything will be fine. But what if everything isn’t fine? Below are 3 crucial relationship check in questions for couples to make life simpler!

According to a recent publication of Current Issues in Personality Psychology, discussions were shown to be an effective strategy for solving disagreements and improving the quality of relationships.

So, a monthly relationship relationship check in questions can help keep your love boat afloat. Once a month, you and your partner can sit across from each other and talk. It isn’t about pointing fingers or finding fault; it’s about feeding the connection



Up Next

8 Clear Signs Someone Cares About You (Even If They Don’t Always Express It)

Unmistakable Signs Someone Cares About You

Are you confused about whether they genuinely care about you? Well, this article will take you through 8 unmistakable signs someone cares about you deeply, even though they do not always express it.

There is an ancient saying that actions speak louder than words. An expression like that tends to stick around for a reason, and this one does make a lot of sense. In our increasingly chaotic and noisy world, it’s easy to forget that some people struggle to verbalize their feelings. But remember, still waters run deep.

Just because someone struggles to express their feelings in words doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Actually, the real clues are buried within their actions. Look out for these telltale signs to know if someone cares about you genuinely:



Up Next

Codependence and Interdependence: What Truly Sets Them Apart?

Codependence and Interdependence: What Truly Sets Them Apart?

The question ‘What is the difference between codependence and interdependence?’ In reality, it asks whether a relationship is dysfunctional or healthy. Well, in today’s Best Day Blog, I will be taking you through the differences between the two and how to recover from codependency.

Dysfunctional Relationships

I talk a lot about what dysfunctional relationships can look like, but how do you develop a healthy relationship, and what does a healthy one look like?

Unfortunately, the idea of relationships we all grow up with from movies and TV is unhealthy. The relationships shown are romanticized