How To Stop Being Jealous

How Stop Being Jealous

Feeling jealous of someone or by something is extremely common. Although, it’s not a good place to be, these unhealthy feelings crawled into our minds at some point or the other. If you want to break free from this wasted emotion of envy, here are some actionable tips to follow. How can we stop being jealous and learn to truly love and embrace our own lives?

Low self-worth can be the cause as well as the effect of being Jealous.

A key ingredient to genuine happiness is gratitude—being happy with what you have. A key ingredient to being miserable is coveting what someone else has, and thinking you aren’t enough. In this day and age, it’s easier than ever to be jealous because we have more access to each other’s lives than ever before.

But we don’t have access to their real lives; instead, we have access to the idealized, filtered, highlight reel of their lives. And even though we know that what we see on social media isn’t “real,” it can really have a strong, often negative, effect on us.

Jealousy can be directed at many sources and doesn’t just come from social media. We can be jealous of friends, family members, co-workers. We can grapple with jealousy in our relationships…when he talks to another girl, looks at another girl, mentions another girl.

Jealousy is an impulse, an emotion that sometimes leads to action.

How To Stop Being Jealous
How To Stop Being Jealous

If it doesn’t, then it just festers within us and causes misery. You never feel at ease; you can never fully appreciate what you have; there is always that sense of lacking, a void that demands to be filled. Jealousy can range from being a hindrance in your everyday life to being dark and destructive, causing humans to do heinous things.

But where does it come from and how do we fix it? How can we stop being jealous and learn to truly love and embrace our own lives?

The social media effect

I only recently got more active on social media—my main impetus is my job, but I found that it’s pretty fun! I started making boards on Pinterest (this actually helped a lot when I was planning my wedding!) and posting inspiring quotes on our ANM Instagram, engaging more on Facebook, and even joining Snapchat (username sabrinaalexis23, it’s strangely addicting!).

At first, social media enhanced my life. I kept limits on it; I used it to promote good and to get ideas to enhance my life. When I moved into a new apartment and was overwhelmed about how to decorate, I spent hours on Pinterest and got so many amazing ideas and now I have a home that I love (and that is, dare I say it, Pinterest-worthy!). I used social media for decorating ideas, healthy recipes, style inspiration, and new quotes—and it was great!

But then things started to turn. In time, I no longer felt inspired by this inundation of information. Rather,  I felt defeated and I started feeling bad about myself. I would compare myself and my life to these strangers with seemingly picture-perfect lives and it didn’t feel good. On social media, there is always a way to feel bad about what you have.

There will always be someone with a better body (especially those fitness bloggers!), a nicer home, a bigger wardrobe, shinier hair, smoother skin, perfect makeup techniques, and some girl on a perfectly sanded beach somewhere gorgeous and exotic with a piña colada perched between her thigh gap.

Hanna Krasnova of Humboldt University in Berlin, the co-author of the study on Facebook and envy, has studied the effects of Instagram and she told Slate: “You get more explicit and implicit cues of people being happy, rich, and successful from a photo than from a status update. A photo can very powerfully provoke immediate social comparison, and that can trigger feelings of inferiority.”

On social media, you’ll find a better version of everything because social media is, in many ways, a fantasy. It allows us to create and filter the absolute best versions of ourselves.

Read How Smartphones and Social Comparison are Making Us Unhappy?

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Sabrina Alexis

Sabrina Alexis is a writer and the co-founder and editorial director of A New Mode. Sabrina graduated from Boston University in 2007 with degrees in English and Psychology and has been writing about fashion, beauty, relationships, and wellness ever since.View Author posts