How to Play the Narcissist’s Game (And Beat Him At It)

The only move you can make that will truly beat the narcissist at his own game.

How to Play the Narcissist’s Game (And Beat Him At It)

“I stood up as best I could to their disgusting stupidity and brutality, but I did not, of course, manage to beat them at their own game. It was a fight to the bitter end, one in which I was not defending ideals or beliefs but simply my own self.” ~George Grosz


So, you are involved in a relationship with a narcissist, and life is kind of difficult, to say the least.

Are you tired of the insults, the mean looks and the general gaslighting? Is someone’s narcissistic behavior giving you a really good reason to finally say you’ve had enough?


Do you want to learn how to play the narcissist’s game so that you can beat him at it?

We’ll get to that…but before we do, let me ask you something.

Would you agree that the narcissist cares just as much about how he’s perceived as he does about how YOU behave inside your relationship? Is he or she always the one who calls the shots – whether directly or indirectly?

When I say directly, I mean by literally setting the rules; or indirectly, by manipulating every situation to his or her advantage. So, inside the relationship, the narcissist is controlling, often of every single aspect, to say the very least.


In short: would you agree that it’s always ABOUT the NARCISSIST?

Assuming you would, let me ask you another question: would you agree that people who don’t know the narcissist as well as you do may see him or her as a very generous, selfless or fun-to-be-around type of person?

That’s what you call the narcissistic conundrum – sort of his secret sauce – the “dual personality” thing.

He’s one person at home (or in private) and another person in public or around “outsiders.” He’s one of those guys who’s nicer to strangers than he is to the people he loves.

(But as one of his favorite forms of narcissistic supply, you already know that his “generosity” is always equipped with proper strings.)

Oh, and then there’s the fact that you can’t always count on a narcissist to explode when something’s wrong in his little world – you’ll also have the covert narcissist types who will often just shut down and force you to figure out what you did wrong this time. And this one may not speak to you for days or weeks, even.


Playing the Game: The Rules of Toxic Narcissism

1. The apparent objective of the game is self-preservation – but there’s a twist! (Isn’t there always?)

2. The twist is that you’ve got to discover the tipping point between self-preservation and self-destruction when it comes to this game.

3. If you focus too much on self-preservation, you may find yourself exhibiting certain classic narcissistic behaviors. But if you focus too little on it, you find yourself being a typical “narcissistic abuse victim.” (See how I didn’t say “SURVIVOR” there?)

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Written by Angie Atkinson

Angela Atkinson founded BlissFire Media in 2013 after spending eight years working as a freelance writer, editor, and social media expert. During that time, she also developed her skills as a website designer, marketer, and other related disciplines.

Atkinson‘s online publishing resume is vast and varied. Her non-fiction book, The Practical Freelance Writer’s Guide to Author Websites, was released September 2010.

She has several years’ experience in online journalism, including hard reporting as well as functioning as editor-in-chief of several client-owned publications over the years. She also wrote features and other news as well as managing and maintaining the connected communities.

Atkinson’s experience also includes copywriting, web writing, search engine optimization (SEO) and SEO content, blogging, marketing and social media marketing.

She also has extensive experience with website design, specializing in WordPress-based sites, such as this one. Additionally, she is credited with creating, building and launching more than 20 websites as well as more than 100 for clients over the years.

She has successfully managed and co-managed several of her own interactive news sites and blogs, as well as she co-owned. She has collaborated on several other books and is the author of On Creating Personal Change.[/learn_more]

Professional Affiliations

Atkinson is a member of the Society of Professional Journalists, including the St. Louis Pro Chapter and the national organization. She is also a member of the St. Louis Writers Guild, the National Education Writers Association, and the Freelancers Union. She studied journalism at Eastern Illinois University and lives blissfully in St. Louis, Missouri with her husband and three children.

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