5 Ways To Survive After Your Boyfriend Cheated


, , ,
Ways To Survive After Boyfriend Cheated

All relationships face their own hurdles and challenges, but the most challenging is to move on after being cheated on. Cheating in relationships is the hardest to recover, but accepting the reality can be the first step if you want to survive infidelity and get your life back on track. Here’re some tips on how to heal after being cheated on.

Are you reeling from the discovery that your boyfriend cheated and wondering how you will ever survive the pain that you are feeling? Do you just want to curl up in a little ball and disappear?

I am so sorry if you are feeling this way. I totally get it – I have been there, as have many, many women before you. Having your boyfriend cheat on you, and the ensuing heartbreak, is one of the worst things you can go through and it feels like it will never end.

Well, I can promise you that, not only can you survive the fact that your boyfriend cheated but you can even thrive! I know it seems impossible right now but I promise you, you can! Here are 5 ways to survive, and thrive, after your boyfriend cheated!

How To Heal After Being Cheated On?

1. Know that it’s not your fault.

How to heal after being cheated on?
How To Heal After Being Cheated On? How To Get Over Cheating?

First and foremost, if your boyfriend cheated, it is NOT YOUR FAULT. So many women blame themselves when their boyfriends cheat. They believe that if only they had been hotter, smarter, kinder, more outgoing, around more, etc. that their boyfriend would never have cheated.

A client of mine found out that her boyfriend had cheated and the first place that she went was that it was her fault. She had been working too hard and spending lots of time with her friends and she knew that she wasn’t giving him as much attention as he might like. So, she blamed herself for his infidelity.

I reminded her that there are two people in every relationship and that infidelity doesn’t usually happen in a void. I asked her if her boyfriend had spoken to her about the fact that he had been feeling neglected. She said he did not. She was guessing maybe he was but, because he didn’t speak up, she just continued on.

I do believe that if her boyfriend had spoken up, she might have been able to change her behaviors so that he was feeling more settled in the relationship. But he did not speak up – he cheated.

And, I would argue, that cheating is taking the coward’s way out. Instead of communicating with her, my client’s boyfriend looked outside of their relationship to get the connection he wanted. And that was not her fault. And neither is your boyfriend’s cheating.

2. Talk to him about it.

I am sure that you are torn right now. Part of you wants to yell and scream and walk out the door. Another part of you wants to pretend that none of this happened and just go on with your life. And I am guessing that the idea of talking to your boyfriend in any reasonable way about what happened feels unfathomable.

One of the most important ways to survive after your boyfriend cheated is by talking to him about it. Why? Because it’s important that you each get a chance to talk and be heard. Because, if you can do that, figuring out what the next steps are, will be easier.

First, you want to listen to what he has to say. He might have nothing to say which might make your decision whether to stay or go easy. But he might very well have something to say that he wants you to hear. Something that he hasn’t said before, like my client above. Either way, it is important that he be given the chance to talk – and you must be willing to truly listen.

Secondly, it is very important that you get the opportunity to say what you need to say. It is important that you get to ask questions, that you are able to express your anger and hurt, and that you get to say everything that you need to say so that you can move forward, one way or the other, without words being left unsaid.

A key part of how to survive after your boyfriend cheated, whether you stay or not, is to make sure that you have said everything that you want to say so that you know that you can move forward having been honest with him and with yourself.

All of that being said, if you truly feel that you have nothing to say to your boyfriend, that nothing he could say would make any difference, you don’t have to talk to him. It is within your rights to walk away and never look back. He cheated. You didn’t. You can decide.

Read: 5 Key Behaviors That Help Build A Healthy Relationship After Infidelity

3. Get some help.

If you want to survive after your boyfriend cheated, I would 100% percent encourage you to get some help – a professional who can help you process your feelings and figure out what are your next steps.

Of course, you have your friends and your sister and your mother and your co-workers and the internet and the guy who tends a bar down the street. You can talk to all of these people about what happened and each of them will have an opinion to share with you. The thing is, people who aren’t professionals will give you advice based on their own experiences, not necessarily based on your story.

Furthermore, our friends and relatives will generally tell us what we want to hear. If you are feeling sentimental about your person one night, your friend will support you with reasons you can work things out. If you go out with another friend the next night and express your anger, that friend will give you all sorts of reasons to break up with him.

The more people you ask, the more confused you will get. And, if you decide to get back together with him, all of those people who you shared your story with will not be so happy to welcome your boyfriend back into the fold.

So, if you want to survive after your boyfriend cheated, get some help. Find someone (like me!) who will listen to YOUR story and YOUR feelings and use their professional experience to help you move forward from where you are right now. Wouldn’t that feel great? To move forward?

4. Hold your head high.

As I mentioned before, for many people, when they find out that their boyfriend was unfaithful, they just take to their bed. They are devasted, feeling guilty, scared of people’s judgment, and full of self-loathing. Their agenda – TV, ice cream, and Kleenex boxes.

While I definitely support anyone who needs to retreat when they find out that their boyfriend cheated, I 100% percent recommend that you limit your time doing so. Why? Because isolating will only make you feel worse about yourself and further devastate your self-esteem.

The amount of time that people need to isolate is different but I would definitely encourage you to get up off the couch within a week. If you wait any longer, you just might find yourself permanently attached to it!

So, what do you do when you get off the couch? Anything that would bring you some sort of joy – or if not joy, then happiness. And if not even happiness, something that doesn’t feed the misery.

How To Cope With Being Cheated On? Survive Infidelity: Deal With Infidelity

If you like to go for walks, do it. And make yourself a break-up playlist to listen to as you do. Spend time with your girlfriends. Go home and let your mom take care of you for a while. Buy yourself something pretty. Plan a trip. Dig into a work project. Whatever it is that will make you feel stronger. Strong enough to move forward.

And, if you haven’t yet had the conversation with your boyfriend, now is the time to start thinking about having it. Having that conversation with him will help you decide what the next steps are in your relationship.

Read: 3 Steps to Healing from Betrayal

5. Get on with your life.

Yes, your boyfriend cheated. And it sucks. But that doesn’t mean that this infidelity has to ruin your life and affect your future. And you are the only one who can prevent that from happening.

I know that right now you feel betrayed. You feel like this person who you gave your heart to broke it. And you believe that you will never be able to love or be loved again. The idea of trusting someone else is inconceivable. And that is how you feel right now but it doesn’t have to define how you will feel in the future – if you don’t let it.

How many people do you know who go into relationships with chips on their shoulders because of past issues with an ex? They have been hurt and they will never let that happen again, so they put up walls. And what does that do? Damage, or end, the next relationship and the next and maybe even the next.

I always tell my clients that people are only human and humans are fallible. We all make stupid decisions that we regret. And sometimes that human being makes a mistake that affects you. And that can be very damaging.

If you can try to recognize that that one person, one human being, made a mistake, that it doesn’t mean that every other man in the universe is going to be unfaithful, you will have a much easier time moving on with your life, being happy and finding love again.

If you stay mired in the past, making decisions around one person’s infidelity, you might never move on and find the love that you want. You don’t want that do you?

So now you see, there are ways to survive after your boyfriend cheated. I know it seems inconceivable but it’s true. This moment is one moment in your life. It doesn’t have to define you. You can take what happened, learn from it, and get on with your life.

When my ex found another girlfriend, I was forever framing it as the fact that he ‘left me.’ That was how I felt it was. And, while, technically, it was true, in reality, our relationship hadn’t been perfect. So, I started to frame it not that he left but that we ended it. Which, ultimately, is what we did! That reframing helped me move on so I could use my coping skills to survive and thrive!

You can do it too! Make sure that you accept that this is not your fault. Talk to him about it (if you want to). Get some help outside of your social circle. Hold your head high and move forward with confidence.

This one thing doesn’t have to define you. It is a small blip in your long life. Remember that. The life, and love, that you want are out there waiting for you!

Written By: Mitzi Bockmann
Originally Appeared On: Let Your Dreams Begin

Ways To Survive After Boyfriend Cheated pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Can A Narcissist Be Faithful? 18 Reasons Why They Cheat (And Why They Don’t)

Can A Narcissist Be Faithful? Reasons They Can Be

Can a narcissist be faithful? This question delves into the intricate world of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and the complex dynamics of relationships involving narcissists. 

Understanding the psychology behind this topic is crucial for those who have encountered or are currently involved with narcissistic individuals. Let us explore the nature of narcissism, the reasons why a narcissist can be unfaithful, as well as the factors that might lead them to exhibit faithfulness. 

Can a Narcissist be Faithful in a Relationship?

Can a narcissist be faithful? This is a nuanced question and doesn’t really have a straightforward answer.

Up Next

The 3 Least Loyal Zodiac Signs Who Seem Allergic To Commitment

Three Least Loyal Zodiac Signs: A Guide To Avoid Red Flag

The precious bond that fortifies connections and defines true devotion is loyalty. But these three least loyal zodiac signs are masters of unpredictability, challenging the very essence of commitment.

While the zodiac can offer insights into our strengths and weaknesses, it’s also known for pointing out our less desirable traits. 

Brace yourself, for we’re about to unveil the truth about the least loyal zodiac signs. From the silver screen to real life, these signs have left a trail of disloyalty that’s hard to ignore. 

So, if you’re ready to dive into the drama, let’s explore the traits of these most disloyal zodiac signs!


Up Next

The 7 Thrilling Narcissist Cheating Patterns You Need To Know

Narcissist Cheating Patterns: Seven Signs Of Infidelity

Have you ever found yourself entangled in a relationship that seemed almost too good to be true? Discovering the Narcissist cheating patterns might help you figure out if your suspicions are on point.

In the intricate dance of relationships, we encounter a wide array of personalities. One personality type that often leaves a trail of heartbreak and confusion in its wake is the Narcissist. 

The term “Narcissist” may evoke images of self-absorbed individuals gazing at their own reflection, but there’s more to them than meets the eye. 

Up Next

The Spiritual Meaning of Dreams About Cheating: Exploring Deeper Realms of the Heart

Spiritual Meaning Of Dreams About Cheating: Two Strong Messages

Dreams are portals to our subconscious and the spiritual world. But when your dreams about infidelity make you feel guilty or anxious, delve into the spiritual meaning of dreams about cheating.

Dreams have long been regarded as windows into the subconscious mind, offering insights into our thoughts, emotions, and even our spiritual journey.

Among the myriad of dream scenarios, dreams about cheating — whether it’s your partner cheating on you or you cheating on your partner — hold a special place due to their intense emotional impact.

These dreams often leave us with lingering feelings of confusion, anx

Up Next

Exiting The Infidelity Maze: 5 Ways To Get Out Of An Extramarital Affair

Get Out Of An Extramarital Affair: 5 Ways To Break Free

Sometimes ending an affair, especially when it’s an extramarital affair can be a slippery slope for many. However, it’s important to get out of an extramarital affair if you want to save your family and marriage (if that is your prerogative). This post is going to explore how to get out of an affair and how to end an affair. 

Even though 84 percent of Americans believe that infidelity is morally wrong, the infidelity rate in the United States has been slowly on the rise (Pew Research Center, 2014).

Zuckerman (2020) reported that approximately 20 pe

Up Next

What Every Couple Needs To Understand About Emotional Infidelity

Emotional Infidelity: The Complexities Of Emotional Cheating

We’ve all heard about cheating in relationships, but what about emotional infidelity? Yeah, that sneaky kind where someone forms a deep connection with someone other than their partner. Are emotional affairs dangerous? Let’s dive into this topic and uncover the secrets behind emotional infidelity.

Key Points:

Emotional infidelity is a lesser-talked-about, yet common type of infidelity that can lead to a sense of betrayal and loss of trust.

Emotional infidelity may include conversations that are inappropriately intimate, familiar, or frequent with someone other than one’s spouse.


Up Next

A Married Man Seeking Married Women: 15 Signs A Married Man Is Flirting With You

A Married Man Seeking Married Women: 15 Signs Of Flirting

Flirting can be a fun and exciting way to add some spice to your day, but it can also be a dangerous game, especially when it involves a married man seeking married women.

If you suspect that a married man is flirting with you, it’s important to be aware of the signs so you can protect yourself and your relationship.

In this article, we’ll go over 15 signs a married man is flirting with you, what makes a married man flirt, and married man flirting body language, so you can stay on the lookout and avoid getting caught up in a