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How to Be Happy, Even When You Least Expect It

How to Be Happy, Even When You Least Expect It

Change can occur instantly and we need to be prepared to drop our expectations to be happy. Read on to know the solution that is within us.

In most professional sports, athletes reach their peak in their twenties. In their 30s, if these men and women are still able to compete, they can keep up with their younger peers because they’re able to use their years of experience to offset the drawbacks associated with their aging bodies.

But once they reach their 40s, no matter how well they’ve developed their athletic prowess, their bodies can’t handle what’s required of them. It’s at this point that retirement is inevitable.

While pro athletes in their 40s may wish they could compete longer, I think most would not be surprised that their bodies are no longer capable of doing so. These men and women aren’t spending time wondering why they are less fit than they were in their 20s.

But what may cause prolonged suffering is retirement due to injuries. A career-killing injury can crush the dreams of athletes otherwise in their prime with a bright future ahead of them. Retirement under these terms may be far more difficult to accept. These men and women may be filled with despair asking themselves, “Why me?” “Life’s unfair,” and “I’ll never be happy again!” While thoughts like these are normal and understandable, over the long term, they will create suffering. And they point to the pitfalls of a mindset that fights against the universal law of change.

Read Which Door Do You Think Leads To Happiness: Your Choice Reveals Your Personality

Change can occur instantly—such as when you have some sort of accident. Or it may take place over time—such as how our bodies age as the years pass. What often happens is that certain change we have a tendency to accept. While it may not be our preference, we accept it. Meanwhile, other changes we refuse to accept. We fight it and fight it and wind up miserable over the long term.

Life can take twists and turns that are unexpected and unpredictable.

To be happy, we have to drop expectations of our lives turning out a certain way.

When our happiness is associated with a particular outcome, we’ve created the formula for suffering. This formula even applies to circumstances where we get exactly what we want, such as the dream job, spouse, child, car, house, or (input your desire here). Because once we have what we want, our minds quickly shift to either wants or fears: We want more of what we have or fear losing it.

You can’t change people. You can change your expectations
How to Be Happy, Even When You Least Expect It

So what do we do when we’re confronted with change that we didn’t expect or want such as the case with the pro athlete whose career was cut short due to injury?
As far as the athletes are concerned, accepting change means taking on an attitude that says something like, “I’ve had a few amazing years. I’m glad I had them, and now I’m going to move on with the next stage of my life.”

Unfortunately, many remain upset with their loss and suffer as a result. And they may hold on to their resentment for years—maybe even for the rest of their lives. While the injury was not the athlete’s choice, how he or she will adjust to it is. And the same is for the rest of us too.

Whatever expectation we cling to will cause suffering.
Life throws surprises at us, and the longer we live, the more surprises we’ll encounter.

The good news is, if we rely on our human nature, we have a solution within us.

Humans over the course of millions of years have survived where other species have gone extinct because of our innate ability to adapt. Thus all of us are capable of being amazing adapters if we choose to do so.

People Spend A Lifetime Searching For Happiness.
How to Be Happy, Even When You Least Expect It
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Robert Puff

Dr. Robert Puff is an internationally recognized clinical psychologist who brings a holistic approach to marriage and couples counseling, individual therapy, and family, teenager & child counseling. For over 30 years, he has been successfully helping clients find greater peace and success in their lives and relationships by using a therapy that addresses the spiritual, emotional, nutritional, and physical aspects of the individual. Dr. Puff has a private practice in Newport Beach, just south of Hoag on PCH, where he is able to help couples, individuals, families, and organizations in all parts of Orange County and Southern California.View Author posts