Empathy Vs Sympathy: How To Practice True Empathy

 / 

, ,
Empathy

“Learning to stand in somebody else’s shoes, to see through their eyes, that’s how peace begins. And it’s up to you to make that happen. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world.” – Barack Obama

Throughout my life, I have noticed that we, as humans, have a tendency to sugarcoat each other’s experiences by minimizing them, telling them that things will get better or that “this too shall pass.” While our intention is usually good, the effects are not always helpful.

As Dr. Brené Brown says, true empathy is being able to take someone’s perspective, remove judgment, and meet them where they are. It is like crawling into a dark hole with them and holding space for their experience. True empathy never starts with “at least.”

One tip that I found extremely helpful in my graduate studies was about learning to implement the acronym “WAIT” into my therapeutic processes with patients. When I’m listening to someone describe their experience or explain their feelings, I may have the urge to jump in and give my feedback at that moment.

Related: 44 Empathetic Statements That Will Make You The Greatest Listener

If I ask myself, “Why am I talking?” it helps me to check my motives and implement a sacred pause. This pause during a brief moment of silence could be incredibly crucial for that person to continue digging further.

We can use “WAIT” in our daily conversations and interactions with those in our lives. If someone shares something incredibly painful to you, the urge to “silver line” their experience may be visceral. We may want to share our own experience, tell them about someone who went through the same thing or provide some spiritual or motivational anecdote. But is this always helpful?

showing empathy

When applying this tool, I find that more often than not, I am giving someone my two cents, because it is about me. This doesn’t make me inherently selfish and self-seeking, but rather a normal human being who tends to be egocentric by design.

That’s okay; we need not shame ourselves for our human nature. What we can do, however, is grow into a person who is able to hold space for our loved ones and be present for those moments of genuine empathy.

Related: 8 People Skills You Need To Succeed In Your Work and Relationships

If it doesn’t feel uncomfortable at first, you may be doing it wrong. I definitely subscribe to the notion that we grow through our discomfort. If we tell ourselves, “I’ll be willing to do that once I’m more comfortable,” we may be waiting forever. The reality is that we get comfortable by walking directly through the discomfort.

So try it out! May empathy be with you.


Written By Hannah Rose 
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today 
Empathy PIN

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The Psychic Side of Empathy: How to Identify a Psychometric Empath

What Is A Psychometric Empath Clear Signs You Might Be One

Discover the world of psychometric empaths and explore what it takes to possess this rare and unique gift. Unveiling the mysteries behind this fascinating ability will allow you harness and enhance your life.

It's like having a sixth sense that lets you read the hidden history of the things around you. This fascinating ability allows empaths to pick up on the energy imprints left on objects, which can include emotions, memories, and experiences.

Most empaths can feel the emotions of others but psychometric empaths, in particular, can sense the energy of not just people, but objects and places.

They can pick up on t


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Why Are Animals Attracted To Me? Here’s Why You Are An Animal Magnet

Why are animals attracted to me

Are animals drawn towards you? Do stray animals or animals you have never met before approach and like you? Have you ever wondered “why are animals attracted to me?”

Why are animals more attracted to some people than others

Animals often gravitate towards some individuals like magnets. As if they are a Disney princess (or prince). But have you ever wondered why? Why do some people instantly become friends with animals, even those who aren't necessarily animal lovers? 


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

10 Signs You Are An Empath

Signs Youre An Empath

Have you ever wondered “Am I an empath?” Identifying the signs you are an empath will help you better understand and connect with yourself and others, set up strong personal boundaries, and build healthier relationships.

Being an empath, once you know about these empath signs, you will be better able to hone your empath traits to help yourself and your loved ones.

Do you experience sensory overload when around large crowds? Do you absorb others’ emotions and find it hard to tune out? 

You, my friend, could be an empath. 

What is an empath?

Empathy is an important trait that helps us to understand how someone feels so that we can respond with compa


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

The Dirty Empath With The Narcissistic Streak Of Infidelity

Dirty Empath With Narcissistic Streak Of Infidelity

Not all are “light and love.” Did you know there is a dark side of an empath? When an empath has the hidden traits of a narcissist, they're known as the Dirty Empath.

The Empath. Regarded as a paragon of virtue with those traits of honesty, decency, compassion, love devotee, moral compass and so on. All of which make the empath and their fuel output tempting prey for us. Yet within these virtuous empathic traits sit other traits, narcissistic traits.

There are four schools of empath (Standard, Super, Co-Dependent and Contagion) . Layered on to these schools are the empathic cadres (such as Magnet, Carrier and Geyser).

Each empath within the relevant school has both empathic and narcissistic traits. Some will have a small number of strong empathic traits with few narcissistic traits which are


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Why The Narcissist Targets You: 5 Reasons

Reasons Narcissist Targets You

Being targeted is quite simple, especially if you are an empath and have "certain traits" that narcissists find enticing. Narcissists always feel the need to control. Did you know your personality can make you a victim of narcissists? Here’s why the narcissist targets you.

When we set our sights on acquiring our appliances to fuel us, it stands to reason that we dedicate the greatest amount of time to the person who is going to be our primary source of fuel.

Of course the amount of time dedicated to this depends on the relevant narcissist but all of our kind are looking for certain traits which are prevalent to empathic individuals.

There are certain core traits which exist in empathic individuals. Normal people will have some of these traits, probably not all and they will not have the traits


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

How Your Emotional Thinking Stops You From Seeing The True Nature Of A Narcissist

How Emotional Thinking Stops You Seeing True Nature Narcissist

Being an empathetic person and having the superpower of emotional thinking is something you should be proud of. However, sometimes, your empathy and emotional thinking can stop you from seeing the red flags of toxic people, especially narcissists.

“I am left feeling I am not good enough”“I am always waiting for him to call.”“She never seems to listen to me.”“I feel like I always have to respond straight away.”“I do not feel settled.”“I always feel like I am being scrutinized.”“I feel like I am out of my depth.”“I am always wondering whether he is serious or joking with me, I struggle to tell.”“I cannot seem to think about anything other than him.”“She makes me feel left out.”“It seems like I am always running around af


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

No, You Are Not “Overly Sensitive”

No You Are Not Overly Sensitive

Has anyone told you that you are too sensitive, or that you overreact sometimes? Well, you are not too sensitive and sensitivity has more benefits than you'd realize.

Well, everyone has their own reactions. Some of us are more sensitive than others. There is nothing wrong with the skill you’re born with. Being sensitive and empathetic is a blessing rather than a curse.

I’m happy to share this selection from Thriving as an Empath with you: Many of us have received messages from parents, teachers, friends, or the media that being sensitive is a fault or weakness.

It’s important to gently re-evaluate old ideas about yourself such as “Im too sensitive,” “Th


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲