7 Tips To Help You Heal From A Heartbreak

Tips To Help You Heal From A Heartbreak

Have you ever gone through a very painful heartbreak, that you found very difficult to move on from? A heartbreak that has broken your heart into a million little pieces, and it felt like you can never recover from this pain? A heartbreak that seems impossible to move on from?

Heartbreak happens to all of us.

You meet someone. They seem different from the rest. There is something special about them, and then a special spark happens between you two. They reciprocate the attention and affection you give them, which you crave. To you, they might even do everything right. They make you feel stronger, better, and more secure. At least at the beginning.

Things progress quickly. You soon fall in love.

But then the worst happens.

They do not meet your needs or you don’t meet their needs, and it’s a whole mess of emotional inability to reconcile.

For a number of reasons, you may break up. The split may be hard but you think you’ll be better off without them. They say the same about you. Tensions are high. And finally, you stop reaching out to them to make it right. Cold turkey- you finally cut off communication. You ghost them, or they ghost you.

You find yourself thinking about the beginning again after some space, wanting them more now than ever. But they won’t return the sentiment.

Related: 5 Essential Steps to Recovery from Heartbreak

You start to realize some things in the midst of the heartbreak.

1. We idealize the past relationship that we were in and the person.
2. We replay the best moment in our minds, forgetting the worst.
3. We lose sight of our identity without that person.

We stalk social media, compare ourselves to their current boyfriend or girlfriend, check our phone constantly to see if they contacted us, and rinse and repeat the pattern.

Loss is important to feel. Grief is part of being human and watching seasons change is as well. But we need not stay there. Remorse and regret may be bigger than we like. They may overwhelm us.

Fights might replay in our minds. Did I say the right thing? I shouldn’t have said that. Did they really mean that? Who am I without them? We may still come up with rebuttals to their arguments because we can’t let it go.

It’s time to set yourself right. A reset button exists in our hearts. It is when we need a change. We can choose our attitude, value ourselves again, and rely on self-worth. The love might not be over yet…or maybe it is. You can honor the love you feel while still saying goodbye.

Here Are 7 Tips That Can Help You Heal From Heartbreak

1. Let yourself feel

The first step to getting over anybody is to let yourself feel the pain of loss. Let yourself feel the good memories, the bad, etc. Let yourself be human and do human things. Let yourself be free of judgment. It was once important to you, all-consuming even, but you have to let it go eventually.

Grief takes its time. There’s no timeline. It has no rhyme or reason for coming in and out of your life. You could feel over it until one day your song with this person comes on the radio. You then have to pull over and cry in your car. These things happen. But they do not define us.

You loved. Acknowledge that. It’s okay to love. It’s okay to try new things. Life is full of twists and turns with lessons to learn. You have to let yourself feel through the heartbreak until you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if you hate that you loved, it still exists. It still happened. And for now, it is a part of you. That does not mean that just because the relationship is over that you are over. You are just on a new path.

Love does not have to be over either. You can start over when ready after experiencing the loss.

2. Remove Reminders

It’s time to get rid of your ex’s presence in your life. If you’re not ready to permanently remove it, then simply get it out of sight and make sure they don’t contact you. These things can trigger you. You want to live without running into the walls of your past.

Those pictures on your wall? Get rid of them. That stuffed animal from the carnival game win? Get rid of it.

You can love again if you know that these items do not have power over you. You can cradle them again, cry over them, scream at them. The process is not perfect. But you can live again once you start accepting it’s over. It’s just one way to do that.

Related: Healing From Heartbreak: 5 Important Steps You Can Take To Move On

3. Unsent Letter

It feels like a great idea to give them every thought in your head, every insult, every rush of wanting to meet again, but it’s not. You will go back and forth, up and down until you stabilize again after heartbreak. Write it out in a letter that you can keep adding to as your feelings resurface then disappear and the anger sets in then the tears. It’s just for your eyes.

Release your anger by writing an unsent letter. Turn it into good by sharing the experience or wisdom from it in a professional outlet like a blog or a book.

It keeps you from saying things that you regret but also from rehashing and reliving it all. The person at the receiving end may retaliate if you just spew anger blindly. It’s about keeping your heart safe while your expressions are sincere.

4. Reset Your Standards Higher

If this person did not bring you all you needed in a relationship, it’s time to reset your standards and make them higher. Create a list of what you are looking for rather than reflect on the lack of the past.


The next person will…

  1. Bring out my best.
  2. Make me laugh.
  3. Keep me motivated.
  4. Assert concerns rather than act passive-aggressively/aggressively.
  5. Compliment me.
  6. Be healthy and motivated.
  7. Be honest and sincere.
  8. Be positive and purposeful.
  9. Share my values.
  10. Respect me no matter what.

Continue to strive to be these things for yourself. You can push yourself, compliment yourself through positive self-talk, and stay motivated. A lover should simply add to what you’re already giving yourself. Not replace it or be the prime motivation for anything you do.

Heal From Heartbreak
Heal From Heartbreak

5. Recognize red flags.

The times they didn’t keep their promises, the times you felt a disconnect with them or felt unseen. The arguments you had which you still play over and over again in your head hoping for a different outcome. The things they said that you still fight about in your mind. The never-ending loop you were in of patterns that would just not disappear.

All these things you have to remember. Write them down, get them out, vent, talk to a therapist. Record them in some way so you can remember them when you start missing this person. Don’t let loneliness draw you back into toxicity. Wake up. That person’s not here. But you are. You’re still standing.

Why ignore such red flags? Processing negative information can be very daunting, especially when it challenges everything you thought you knew about the person and your relationship. You have to write down the red flags in retrospect and see what you missed. Why did you just accept a conflict that was mishandled? What if you were mishandled?

You can’t ignore such things in the future. You have to let others into your world. Ask what they saw. It may mean revisiting old memories, crying again, or even feeling for tender moments such as when you made up. But it does not mean you have to accept red flags ever again. Let this be an awakening.

Related: 13 Red Flags Of A Doomed Relationship

6. Stay. Focused.

Your goals are what matter. In the long term, this person will no longer have power over you or your emotional wellbeing. For now, you are fragile and feeling isolated and alone. You have to remember your goals and stay focused. No matter what. What are you going to do with your life? What about in the next five minutes? What are your dreams, your vision?

Focusing on yourself lessens the pain of the promise another made to you that was broken. You are able to start over. You get another chance at life in fact. You get to pick who’s in it.

Rediscover yourself. Give yourself the time and attention you deserve. Most likely, you’ve been neglected since the downfall of your last relationship. Rather than just reconciling with the ex, look to your own true self, someone you can trust and depend on like a best friend. You need that person to care. You still care about yourself, but you’ve been hurting so you haven’t been healthy. This is the time to declare yourself new. Try new things. Meet new people.

The more you focus on yourself and your goals, the less you will think about your ex. You will only be at your best if you remember what’s best about you.

Want to know more about healing from heartbreak? Check this video out below!

Healing from heartbreak

7. You will still remember.

Lastly, you will still remember and reflect on times with your ex. You will still have grief. You will sometimes have love. You will have days where anger resurfaces and days where they don’t even come to mind. Over time, it will get easier. This is all-natural. Don’t stuff it down when it pops up. Acknowledge and accept it then let it go.

Don’t avoid your life just because they were once in it. Most of all, don’t be afraid to love again. But remember,

“Never love anybody that treats you like you’re ordinary.”- Oscar Wilde

Tips That Can Help You Heal From A Heartbreak pin
Tips That Can Help You Heal From A Heartbreak
Tips To Help You Heal From A Heartbreak pin

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

6 Worst Types Of Breakups Hard To Get Over: Heartbreak Hall Of Fame

Worst Types Of Breakups: The Heartbreak Hall Of Fame

Welcome to the land of breakups, where we put a magnifying glass on the most chaotic and worst types of breakups that can make even the strongest hearts feel a whole lotta pain. Being in love is a beautiful experience, isn’t it? However, there’s always a risk of things not working out, but that’s the risk you take when you fall for someone, right?

Breakups are never pleasant, and they always hurt. But, but, but. There’re 6 types of painful breakups that just knock the wind out of you, and these are probably the worst types of breakups, in my humble opinion.

In this article, we will look at some of the worst t

Up Next

3 Ways That Grudge Dumping Destroys Relationships

Ways That Grudge Dumping Destroys Relationships

Dealing with frustration in a relationship is sometimes a very normal thing to experience. But some people let their frustration get the better of themselves, and end up grudge dumping their partner. This article is going to talk about experiencing frustration in relationships, and how grudge dumping destroys relationships.


Frustration is a natural part of any intimate relationship; grudge dumping isn’t.

Pent-up frustration can lead to temper tantrums, explosive arguments, and words designed to produce maximum hurt.

Healthy ways to process frustration in a relationship includ

Up Next

Feeling Alone In The Season of Togetherness? 5 Tips To Cope With Loneliness On Holidays

Feeling Loneliness On Holidays? Tips To Brighten Your Days

Winter celebrations like Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa are all about having fun with friends and family. But sometimes, even with all the happiness around, you might get the feeling of loneliness on holidays.

If you’re dealing with bouts of loneliness, it’s important to know that you’re not the only one, and there are ways to deal with it. Dealing with long-lasting loneliness might need some special help. But there are also simple things you can do when you’re feeling lonely during the holidays.

This guide is here to help you understand and handle holiday loneliness. We’ll give you easy tips to feel better and enjoy the festive season more. Let’s beat those holiday blues together with simple steps and support. Happy holidays!

Up Next

Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? Exploring The Complexities of Post-Breakup Relationships

Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? Expert Tips To Consider

Breaking up with someone you once loved and cared deeply for is never easy. It often leaves us feeling confused, hurt, and uncertain about the future. In the aftermath of a breakup, one question that frequently arises is, “Can you be friends with your ex?” 

It’s a topic that sparks curiosity, debate, and even skepticism. Let’s explore the complexities of maintaining a friendship with an ex-partner, examining both the potential benefits and challenges that come with this unique dynamic.

Can You Be Friends with Your Ex?

The short answer is yes! It’s possible to be friends with your

Up Next

4 Zodiac Signs Who Fall Out Of Love In October 2023

Zodiac Signs Who Fall Out Of Love And Breakup In October

October is often associated with positivity and good fortune, it can also be a month of endings and heartbreak. Here are 4 zodiac signs who fall out of love this month!

But remember, sometimes you have to go through the dark to appreciate the light that’s on the horizon.

This October, zodiac signs that fall out of love easily will have to face the end of their relationships, and interestingly, they may have sensed it coming. Astrologically speaking, October is marked by significant planetary movements that affect our love lives, including the influence of Lilith, known for its disruptive impact.

Up Next

Unpacking Parentification Trauma: The Burden of Growing Up Too Soon

What Is Parentification Trauma? Seven Types, Effects and Healing

The excitement of childhood is beautiful, when your biggest worry was whether your favorite cartoon was on TV. Some kids don’t have a childhood as carefree. Parentification trauma becomes a real issue when a child is thrust into the shoes of a grown-up.

The child takes on responsibilities beyond their years. It’s like playing a role in a movie you didn’t audition for. This is the reality for those who’ve experienced the issue – a lesser-known yet impactful challenge that shapes lives in unexpected ways.

What is Parentification Trauma?

It might be your question, though–what is parentification trauma? The trauma occurs when a child is placed in a role that reverses their expected position within the family dynamic.

Up Next

Celebrity Breakup Lessons: Six Things To Learn From Celebrity Breakups

Six Celebrity Breakup Lessons You Must Know

Celebrity marriages, no matter how passionate and glamorous, face their own challenges, as they too must navigate the realities of day-to-day life together. Celebrity breakups are very common nowadays and hence here are some celebrity breakup lessons you can learn.

The intense scrutiny of Hollywood and constant paparazzi presence can exact a significant toll. Additionally, the dynamics can shift over time, especially for female movie stars, given the industry’s emphasis on youth.

Similarly, high net-worth couples may encounter similar issues, with the pressure to maintain a certain image. In such cases, there is a tendency for the concept of a “trophy wife” to come into play, where appearances play a significant role in the relationship.

For example, According to People Magazine, a source close t