Have you ever gone through a very painful heartbreak, that you found very difficult to move on from? A heartbreak that has broken your heart into a million little pieces, and it felt like you can never recover from this pain? A heartbreak that seems impossible to move on from?
Heartbreak happens to all of us.
You meet someone. They seem different from the rest. There is something special about them, and then a special spark happens between you two. They reciprocate the attention and affection you give them, which you crave. To you, they might even do everything right. They make you feel stronger, better, and more secure. At least at the beginning.
Things progress quickly. You soon fall in love.
But then the worst happens.
They do not meet your needs or you don’t meet their needs, and it’s a whole mess of emotional inability to reconcile.
For a number of reasons, you may break up. The split may be hard but you think you’ll be better off without them. They say the same about you. Tensions are high. And finally, you stop reaching out to them to make it right. Cold turkey- you finally cut off communication. You ghost them, or they ghost you.
You find yourself thinking about the beginning again after some space, wanting them more now than ever. But they won’t return the sentiment.
You start to realize some things in the midst of the heartbreak.
1. We idealize the past relationship that we were in and the person.
2. We replay the best moment in our minds, forgetting the worst.
3. We lose sight of our identity without that person.
We stalk social media, compare ourselves to their current boyfriend or girlfriend, check our phone constantly to see if they contacted us, and rinse and repeat the pattern.
Loss is important to feel. Grief is part of being human and watching seasons change is as well. But we need not stay there. Remorse and regret may be bigger than we like. They may overwhelm us.
Fights might replay in our minds. Did I say the right thing? I shouldn’t have said that. Did they really mean that? Who am I without them? We may still come up with rebuttals to their arguments because we can’t let it go.
It’s time to set yourself right. A reset button exists in our hearts. It is when we need a change. We can choose our attitude, value ourselves again, and rely on self-worth. The love might not be over yet…or maybe it is. You can honor the love you feel while still saying goodbye.
Here Are 7 Tips That Can Help You Heal From Heartbreak
1. Let yourself feel
The first step to getting over anybody is to let yourself feel the pain of loss. Let yourself feel the good memories, the bad, etc. Let yourself be human and do human things. Let yourself be free of judgment. It was once important to you, all-consuming even, but you have to let it go eventually.
Grief takes its time. There’s no timeline. It has no rhyme or reason for coming in and out of your life. You could feel over it until one day your song with this person comes on the radio. You then have to pull over and cry in your car. These things happen. But they do not define us.
You loved. Acknowledge that. It’s okay to love. It’s okay to try new things. Life is full of twists and turns with lessons to learn. You have to let yourself feel through the heartbreak until you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if you hate that you loved, it still exists. It still happened. And for now, it is a part of you. That does not mean that just because the relationship is over that you are over. You are just on a new path.
Love does not have to be over either. You can start over when ready after experiencing the loss.