The more you expose your children to a positive influence and avoid walking into our traps and playing into our hands, you will tip the balance so that they will, through the effluxion of time and exposure to this positive influence flourish under it and make their own minds up.
7. Allow them to make up their own minds.
In a similar fashion to how you must deal with a smear campaign, do not tell the children what to think, but allow them to make up their own minds. This will be difficult at first and you will no doubt find yourself on the receiving end of hurtful and challenging behavior.
Keep in mind that this is our influence (not what the child really thinks) and that as you weather the storm, the effects of your positive influence will eventually manifest. As the children become older you can present them with independent evidence of behavior (not just hearsay and say so) so they can evaluate this for themselves and make their own minds up. Like third parties, children do not want to be involved in a conflict between two people and they do not want to be told what to do. Cater to this and you will minimize disruption and increase your positive influence – the best approach to save children from narcissist.
8. Positive behavior and influence
Your approach is one of ensuring the “light side” overcomes the “dark side”. This can only be achieved by repeated reinforcement of positive behavior and influence. If you engage in behaviors similar to ours, you enter onto our home turf and you will not only encourage us to keep going with our behaviors but you will find there is a negative outcome for both you and the children.
9. Involve the relevant authorities
If our behavior is serious in terms of impact on the children – for instance, violence or neglect – involve the relevant authorities. You will not be able to cause us to recognize we have done anything wrong because we either do not recognize that we have or we will not admit it for the purposes of maintaining control. Only by taking the help of relevant authorities, you can save your children from narcissist parent.
If you regard it as appropriate, save messages and e-mails which exhibit our behavior and allow the child access to them when an adult. This is again the presentation of independent evidence when they are in a position to make their own minds up. You must not engage in a popularity contest or sling mud; you will lose as this is playing into our hands.
11. Positive approach towards your children
If you find yourself having to engage with us through the court system, ensure those representing you are familiar with our kind. Rely on independent evidence as much as possible rather than “he said, she said”.
Recognize that we are experts at duping people and our lawyers, your lawyers, psychologists, court officials, and judges can just as easily be duped. If a hearing does not go your way, resist the urge to lash out at us – it is of course just fuel – and instead continue to adopt a positive approach towards your children.
That must always be your focus if you are determined to save the children from narcissist parent. We want you to engage with us and we will use children and the court system to provoke you to do this. Fail to engage and you take away much of our power. That makes it easy to save your children from narcissist parent.
It is hard. A narcissistic parent is a fact.
We will not go away so long as we are getting what we want or believe we can do so. Prevent us from getting what we want, demonstrate to us that we are unlikely to get what we want and we will turn our attention elsewhere.
This will then allow your positive influence to have an even greater bearing on the children and undo any harmful effects from our toxic influence. You will face challenges but by trying to address our behavior, cater to it and pander to it, you will not succeed in protecting your children. I have seen this first hand.
Are you ready to save the children from narcissist parent? Leave a comment below if you found this guide helpful.
Written by: HG Tudor
Originally appeared on: Narcsite
Republished with permission.