One of the best ways to make sure that your date goes well with the guy you like is by getting to know him better. And what better way is there than asking him some great first date questions that will help you know him inside out, and how he is as a person.
How do you feel when you talk to a guy who’s engaged, energetic, and full of curiosity about you? Along with totally enjoying the convo, it’s possible that you’ll feel compelled to reveal your personality to this person, by sharing your passions, values, and opinions. When this happens, you start to achieve the goal of dating. And, what’s that?
Getting to know someone and bonding to them.
Great conversation skills open many doors, whether they’re career opportunities, romance or even scoring yourself a discount on something you want! In a first date scenario, these skills are the difference between awkward silences that make you want to run out the door and sparkling banter that takes things to the next level.
Now, many of us prepare a mental list of questions ready and waiting to pounce at the first hint of silence. While the concept of this is definitely useful, you run the risk of sounding contrived or, worse, like you’re hosting a cheesy dating game show. What you need is context to help bring your questions into the conversation.
Before we launch into six great first date questions and how to throw them out there naturally, there are two very important mindsets you need to adopt first.
Being Genuinely Curious
Our minds can play funny tricks on us, especially when we’re overthinking things. For example, of course, you’re interested in a guy if you’ve agreed to go on a date. In between that moment and the actual date though, you’ve probably mentally devised a mess of ‘what if’ scenarios and scripted questions straight from a how-to manual. In the process, you’ve forgotten that you are actually very curious about this guy.
Close the door to your future projections. Instead, let your mind ponder things like who he is, what’s on his mind, what he likes doing, and what motivates him. Let that genuine curiosity build and take over from any other thoughts. Allowing yourself to be motivated by sincere curiosity about a person leads to the natural flow, engagement, and sparks that make conversation fly.
Even if you’ve got a list of fantastic first date questions in your mind, they’re not going to get you anywhere unless you’re truly present with the answers. After all, it’s the answers that lead to more authentic, stimulating conversations. To really listen to another person, you need to get out of your head and sink into the moment.
The moment doesn’t have anything to do with whether or not he’ll like your questions, what he’ll think of your responses, or if you chose the right dress to wear. Those types of thoughts are all to do with the future or the past. When you’re in the present moment, you don’t have past or future thoughts bouncing around in your mind, because it’s open and ready for new information, new responses, and new outcomes.
Stay aware of your thoughts and whenever you notice them drifting away from the present, take a deep breath and go back to open curiosity about him and the exciting anticipation of the unknown. That’s half the fun of dates, right?
Embrace the unknown, rather than trying to control the outcome with thoughts that take you out of flow with him – and the conversation.
Right. Let’s get that conversation happening with six great first date questions and how to throw them out there.