How To Deal With Feeling Unwanted, Abandoned and Unloved

How To Deal With Feeling Unwanted, Abandoned and Unloved
You Feel a sense of anger and deep pain rippling through you. How could they leave you so brutally, and without a second thought ?

How could they take your love and trust, and throw it to the wind as if it didn’t even matter – as if YOU didn’t matter?

If you’ve experienced abandonment in your life before you will know how far the wounds of being “second best” or “not worth it” run within you. You will be very aware of how feeling unwanted has changed the person you are and the way you interact with others.

One thing I’ve learned on my path is that abandonment takes many different shapes and forms. Feeling unwanted and unloved can manifest itself physically, emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually. But the one thing that all of these different facets of being neglected have in common is the big gaping hole they leave in our lives.

Today I want to explore that void within you.


When we experience a severe form of abandonment or neglect, particularly at a young age, the shock from that experience tends to stay with us for the rest of our lives. But these shocking experiences continue to dwell within us only if we fail to explore them. These experiences when left unexamined for too long become our core wounds, or the deepest fundamental beliefs that we have about ourselves on an unconscious level.

As Sol wrote in his article “How to Discover Your Deepest, Darkest Core Wound”:

Our core wounds are our deepest seated pains in life. They are our oldest and most miserable friends. For most of us, these core wounds within us are ruled by the following two mistaken beliefs:

“I am flawed and therefore a bad person.”

“I must change or fix something about myself in order to be acceptable.”

Other common core wounds that arise as a product of feeling unwanted include, “I am not worth it,” “I am unlovable,” and “I am irreparably broken.”


We have found ourselves in a period of time which I like to call the Individualist Era. As our ability to communicate empathetically and meaningfully with others breaks down as a result of our “ME FIRST!” corporate and materialist culture, we find that our families, friendships and relationships are as unstable as ever. Therefore, more and more of us are experiencing the isolation of being abandoned, cheated and forgotten.

What can we do to explore and heal these core wounds? How can we tear down the brick walls that shelter the tattered remnants of our hearts? And finally how can we become stronger, more whole people again?

Like you, I have experienced abandonment in many different shapes and forms. Like you, I have suffered terribly as a result of it. But today I want to provide you with something proactive, something that will empower you to take your life in your own hands again.

What do you think?

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Written by Aletheia Luna

She is the co-founder, editor and author of popular spiritual website As a transformational mentor and holistic writer, she has helped to guide thousands of people throughout the world on their paths of self-acceptance and wholeness.


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  1. Nothing is gonna change. When you love without any attachments you wont change you will only learn that some people are not for you, and life moves on.. We have to be strong, and believe in process. Sincerely, have a good life and peace be upon your lost soul 🙂

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