Being positive is an important key to having a fulfilled and content life. But too much of anything is bad, and the same goes for positivity. Trying to feel positive, no matter what, can end up doing more harm than good to you, and the more you understand the dangers of toxic positivity, the better off you will be.
Sometimes I read something where someone says: “good vibes only over here.” And I think to myself, that’s actually impossible and unrealistic. Furthermore, it’s also detrimental to think that way. Here’s why:
Toxic Positivity As Good Vibes Only
Nothing in life exists purely from the space of “good vibes” or “pure light” only. Secondly, to hold oneself to that standard is not only unfair, but it creates an unrealistic fantasy that inevitably leads to heartbreak, feelings of failure, and not feeling like you are ever enough/something is wrong with you. It sets you up for disappointment because achieving “good vibes only” means abandoning the truth of your own soul —where there are not just good vibes, but all kinds of vibes present.
“Spiritual bypassing” happens when you pretend to be somewhere you’re not in order to avoid being where you are. There is nothing more hurtful to your soul’s experience than pretending, wearing masks, or placing yourself into an unrealistic fantasy —in order to meet the standards the world has set for you. Doing this leads to heartbreak because no one can actually live up to that standard while remaining true to themselves.
Truth: In life, there is no light without dark. This is true about anything real on Earth, and in the spiritual world too. This also includes everything that is considered divine or conscious. Consciously evolving or coming into a space of healing or love or ascension only happens by addressing the dark —what we don’t see.
Related: Why Embracing Your Dark Side Is Crucial For Your Growth
Our blind spots are often riddled with pain, fear, misunderstanding, abandonment, or heavy grief. To address the dark is what’s actually divine. It’s okay to feel as though something is heavy or dark… that’s a reflection of reality. Reality can be dark and painful. It’s inauthentic to your experience if you choose to believe otherwise.
Addressing the dark and holding space for the dark and looking at the dark is how you become who you are meant to be. Pretending you don’t have any dark is deciding to keep blinders on.
Pretending there is no darkness at all robs you from seeing deeper truths within and around you. It keeps you sleeping while you remain burdened by carrying the voice of the world, which will never be a true reflection of your own voice within.
For example: If you’re feeling depressed, but you believe you’re supposed to be zen all the time —so that’s how you’re acting instead, you’re not properly honoring where you are or connecting to the truth within you or to what your current experience is trying to teach you, which is instead creating something inauthentic.
This is what it means to wear a mask, and others will pick up on it. They’ll reflect the discomfort of your mask back to you by showing you feelings of discomfort when they are around you. This is just showing you how uncomfortable it is for you to be with your mask instead of choosing to go deeper into your truth.
The reason this happens is that we often buy into thoughts that promote “high vibe” and “this is how to be successful” messaging with language that directly or indirectly insinuates “dark is bad,” and speaking in only “love and positivity” is all that is acceptable.
When you consume these messages, you will inevitably internalize this voice and pretend that voice is yours —which doesn’t leave any space for your authentic voice to shine through to you. Doing exactly that is what disconnects you even further from your truth. It serves as a blockade, which your soul is unable to reach you through.
This includes taking on the set of beliefs that you: “have to have something done or accomplished by a certain age” or “success looks this certain way” and “you’re a failure if …” All of these messages keep you jailed from experiencing your own truth of your own experience, which was written just for you. Not all stories look and feel the same…
People don’t fully realize just how soul-crushing adhering to all these messages actually is. Messaging that promotes an inauthentic way to address yourself or be with yourself or your feelings and in your experience is what keeps your soul’s voice silent. It keeps you disconnected. And that’s what’s so incredibly painful and empty feeling.
Related: How Accepting Things You Cannot Change Makes You Finally Free To Be Yourself
New age spirituality seems to promote a culture where perfection supersedes honoring the true journey and evolution of the Self. Do not buy into this culture. It isn’t real or healthy. And anything not real… is not actually divine.
Divine language and divine messages are the messages that promote healthy and accepting views of yourself and of your journey. They get you back in touch with where you truly are. These messages give you something to work on or look at. They won’t elicit fear, but instead enlighten you to move into a space of acceptance, healing and show you ways to find that deeper connection with.
The point isn’t to achieve a sense of “happy talk” —as again, that’s not real or divine. The point is to bring you closer to your soul, your authentic voice, and truth to help you step into your power. That’s what’s actually divine. That journey can sometimes be painful too, and that’s the truth. And that’s perfectly okay.
Spiritual guides and healers like me are only here to light up that path for you. To show you what it’s like. If you come across me, I’m just a guidepost on the deeper inner journey your soul has invited you to take. I’m here to show you walls that keep the truth of your soul out in the cold. The actual work you have in front of you is your job. And I know it’s a lot. I’ve been there too, and I’m still not done.
My soul’s message to you is:
Keep going.
Your truth sits within you, and it’s only for you to find. That’s how loved you are. You are SO immensely loved that something completely divine, beyond space and time, put a special gift inside you, which was made only for you —that only you can feel and hold and collect and see. And it’s something that one day if you choose, you can share with the world around you and feel completely cherished for. You’re worthy of that ride. You always have been.
For more such articles, visit Sarah’s website here.
Written By Sara Shermis Originally Appeared In Thought Catalog
So now you know the dangers of toxic positivity and how disturbing and detrimental it can be for your mental health. Life might be an intimidating thing to deal with at times, but doing this is not the solution. Be your authentic self, face all your emotions, and then do what needs to be done to overcome the challenges. Most importantly, know the dangers of toxic positivity and stay away from it.
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