Skip to content

7 Common Manipulative Phrases and How To Shut Them Down

Manipulative Phrases Shut Them Down

Can you identify manipulative sentences that are cunningly crafted with the sole purpose of controlling your thoughts and actions? The following article will help you to shut down manipulative phrases in a relationship.

People do not choose to manipulate because they care. Manipulation is only “control”, masquerading as love. Its ability to look like affection can make this one of the most insidious forms of abuse.

“Just because something isn’t a lie does not mean that it isn’t deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction,” wrote Criss Jami.

Don’t allow your life to be hijacked by a manipulator’s sweet words. Hold tight to your sense of control and make your own choices. If this manipulation becomes a pattern, consider leaving the relationship behind. Manipulation is not only controlling but deeply selfish.

There are some common lines of thinking that manipulators like to exploit to get their way. Thankfully, all of them are easily shut down with common sense.

7 Common Manipulative Sentences

Here are seven examples of manipulative phrases, each followed by a logical and self-valuing response:

7 Common Manipulative Phrases and How To Shut Them Down
Manipulative sentences are not always easy to identify

1. “Look What You Made Me Do!”

I do not have the power to make you do anything. You chose to respond the way you did. You need to carry the responsibility for your own actions. I can only own mine.

2. “How Can You Still Be Mad At Me After I Bought You that Beautiful Necklace?”

My forgiveness can not be bought with money. You were very kind to do that. However, if this necklace is contingent on my forgiveness, it is not a gift. It is a bribe. You can have it back.

Related: 15 Red Flags Of Manipulative People

3. “Don’t Wear That out”, “Let Me Check Your Phone”, “Who’ve You Been Texting?”, “It’s Not you, I Don’t Trust- It’s other people”

You don’t have to trust other people. You just have to trust me to be faithful and honest. When you behave this way, you assume that I am either a cheater or a very weak person. I am neither.

4. “I Want You To Stay Home Because That Is What’s Best For Our Kids. I Just Want To Take Care Of You.”

The best thing for my children is to have a mother who is happy and whole. The choice to work or to stay home is mine. By doing what makes me happy, I am teaching our children to have autonomy over their own lives. Is forcing me into a lifestyle I don’t want taking care of me? Or is it tightening your control over my life? (Note: This can also work the other way, with a controlling partner forcing their significant other into undesired work.)

5. “I Know You Feel Strongly About This, But I Need You To Do It My Way. It’s What’s Best For Us.”

What’s best for us is to make decisions as a couple. What’s best for me is to have my input heard and respected. Is your way truly what’s best for us, or is it what’s best for you?

Related: 9 Tactics People Use To Take Advantage of You

6. “If You Leave, I Will Hurt Myself.”

If you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide, you need to call 911. You can also call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. I have already made my choice. I’ve explained my reasons for doing so. I am not coming back.

7 Common Manipulative Phrases and How To Shut Them Down
A healthy relationship has no room for manipulative sentences in conversations, or even in arguments

7. “I Know You Don’t Want Kids Right Now, But Let’s Try Anyway. I Just Want Us To Be A Family.”

Family can take many different forms. The common thread between them is a feeling of mutual respect. I have the right to choose how many children we have, and when we have them. I will tell you when I am ready.

7 Common Manipulative Phrases and How To Shut Them Down
Manipulative Sentences Used By Family Members Should Not Be Overlooked

As C.J. Roberts wrote in Seduced in the Dark, “I’ve been doing this a long time- manipulating people to get my way. That’s why you think you love me. Because I’ve broken you down and built you back up to believe it. It wasn’t an accident. Once you leave this behind, you’ll see that.”

Related: 9 Traits of Manipulative People To Watch Out For

7 Common Manipulative Phrases and How To Shut Them Down
Manipulative sentences weaved in arguments are meant to steer the conversation in the favor of the manipulator

Sometimes it takes removing yourself from manipulation to see it for what it is. Sometimes it only takes one well-placed rebuttal to shut it down. Be wary of manipulation, and don’t be afraid to leave. Only you have the right to control your own life.

Originally appeared on IHeartIntelligence

So, those were some common phrases manipulators use to gain control over you. How did you find the above article on manipulative phrases?

Did you find these above-mentioned manipulative sentences and their rebuttals helpful? What are some of the manipulative words and phrases you have encountered in your life? What are some other things manipulators say?

Do share your experience of dealing with emotionally manipulative phrases by commenting down below.


If you are careful enough, you can identify these commonly used manipulative sentences, often masked as love.
Look Out For These 7 Common Manipulative Sentences In Conversations
Manipulative Phrases Shut Them Down Pin
Learn How Can You Shut Down The Most Common Manipulative Sentences
Manipulative Phrases Shut Them Down pin
Manipulative Phrases Shut Down

14 thoughts on “7 Common Manipulative Phrases and How To Shut Them Down”

  1. Avatar of Genevieve

    Where’s THIS one:
    “Don’t you think, AFTER ALL I’VE (WE’VE) DONE FOR YOU, that YOU SHOULD DO ( you name it) FOR ME(US)?””
    If I’d known this one 20 years ago when my father said it to me, I, now 60, might not be sitting here on disability, and instead, have a college degree, and a different, definitely more autonomous, quality of life. No, I’m not making excuses for myself, thank you. JUST THINK THIS ONE OUGHT TO BE ON THE LIST SOMEWHERE. #8, Anyone???

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

nv-author-image

iheartintelligence

The main goal of I Heart Intelligence is to share interesting stories, amazing facts, and fun, intelligent, and inspiring content. The authors here at I Heart Intelligence choose to present information without bias to let the readers think harder and come to their own conclusions. The owners of the site don’t always personally agree with everything published here, but do think that these subjects are worth exploration, critical thought, discussion, and debate.View Author posts

Up Next

5 Ways That Family Estrangement Can Inflict Lifelong Harm

Ways Family Estrangement Can Inflict Lifelong Harm

Family estrangement, be it parental or sibling, or worse, both, is one of the most painful and heartbreaking things a human being can go through.

Key Points

Cutoffs can ripple through one's life and identity, producing a unique form of grief as the estranged mourn the living.

The estranged often have a lingering difficulty adjusting to, accepting, and making sense of their losses.

The estranged often suffer a loss of self-esteem and trust, which may play out in other relationships and ultimately compromise well-being.

<

Up Next

How to Spot Someone Playing The Victim? 6 Signs

How to Spot Someone Playing The Victim

Unfortunately, victim playing rarely results in getting what you want. Observe six signs of someone playing the victim and how to avoid narcissists.

Not all victims are manipulative. Feeling like a victim has taken on negative connotations, but there are people who ”play the victim” in order to manipulate you.

This is a favorite defense of narcissists and other personality-disordered people. In some other instances, this behavior is learned as a child because as a way to get needs met. I refer to them here as “actors.”

Up Next

10 Ways To Overcome Childhood Trauma: Grow Beyond Your Childhood Trauma And Reclaim Your Life

Ways To Overcome Childhood Trauma

Do you want to break old patterns and release those past versions of yours? You might need to overcome childhood trauma first.

Our childhood is supposed to be the purest, most magical, and happiest time of our lives, and yet, for so many of us, childhood memories only bring pain, shame, anger, and confusion. For it was when we had, for the first time, experienced trauma.

At a time when we were new to this world, blissfully unaware of its complexities, and our formative brains still grappling with concepts of love, care, safety, and nurturance, we came to know what it feels to be unloved, uncared for, unsafe, and unnurtured.

Read:

Up Next

10 Examples Of Manipulation In Relationships

Examples Of Manipulation In Relationships

Your relationship is supposed to be your safe haven, a space where you will feel secure, safe, and happy. But when you are with a manipulative person, that's a distant and impossible dream. This post is all about how manipulators function and examples of manipulation in relationships.

The problem is, most of the time it is difficult to understand that you are being manipulated because this is someone you love and trust. Even thinking that they would use manipulative statements on you is unfathomable. But unfortunately, if you are indeed in a toxic relationship, you need to know and understand the things manipulators say and how manipulative language works.

This doesn't mean you are stupid or a bad person for doubting the person you love, it simply means that you treating yourself with love and respect. And no matter how much you may love someone,

Up Next

5 Signs You’re Clinging To Toxic Hope

Signs Youre Clinging To Toxic Hope

Toxic hope is part of what keeps us stuck in bad situations because these are the stories we tell ourselves or choose to believe that keep us from confronting what we usually know to be real and true deep down. Today, I’d like to discuss toxic hope and its relation to gaslighting. There’s an interesting connection there, and I’ll also leave you with five ways to tell if your hope is toxic because it isn’t always obvious. Let’s get started.

I have a lot of experience with toxic hope because I felt like I had layers of toxic hope when I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. There were a lot of things I clung to, but there was a disconnect deep down.

I knew there was a gap, and I clung to toxic hope, but I wouldn’t admit it to myself. So, what is the connection between toxic hope and gaslighting? True, malicious gaslighting is a complex issu