commandments of resilience

Resilience is something that is always going to help you go further in life, and climb the ladder of progress. The ten commandments of resilience will help you be the very best version of yourself, and reach all your goals.

If your life is typical of most, you will have obstacles and pressures from day today. But skills and talents aren’t the only prerequisites for success and happiness. The Holy Grail of mental and physical resilience also determines whether you reach your goals, perhaps even more than your talents.

The Following 10 Commandments Of Resilience Can Help You Perform Your Best And Sustain You Over The Long Haul.

1. Thou Shalt Look For The Upside Of Every Situation.

You will have many difficult and stressful challenges. Maintaining a positive attitude can help you better handle stress. It’s easy to recognize your shortcomings, but don’t forget to recognize your talents and strengths. Deal yourself with a positivity card on a regular basis to build your mind’s creative mojo and offset stress juices that could bring your goals to a screeching halt.

Positivity acts as a stress buffer when you’re overloaded with life’s burdens, broadening your mind and range of vision. When you’re searching for a solution to a challenge, your negative emotions keep you focused on the problem. Looking for the opportunity in the difficulty expands your range of vision and bolsters possibilities and creativity.

Related: Be Like Water: Bruce Lee’s Philosophy Of Resilience

2. Thou Shalt Refrain From Making Unreasonable Demands On Thyself And Treat Thyself With Great Respect And Compassion At All Times.

Recognize how often you berate yourself, call yourself names, or shame yourself. Substitute self-compassion for self-judgment. Stand up to impossible standards and harsh judgments instead of attacking yourself. Forgive yourself for your shortcomings and see them for what they are: habits, old behavior patterns, or just plain mistakes that all of us make.

When you’re more loving to yourself and accept your limitations with compassion, you cut your stress in half and double your sustainability. Then you’re dealing only with the stressful experience, not the added negative feelings from self-judgment. Put away your gavel and when your inner judge overshadows you, amp up your compassionate side, and let it lead you to productivity and success.

3. Thou Shalt Grow Rhino Skin.

Remain resilient in the face of rejection and self-doubt—conditions everyone faces at some point. Try to accept rejection with a dispassionate eye without bawling if you can. Throw your arms open to critical feedback and use it to grow and strengthen and enrich your life. Tell yourself that setbacks are not the end of the story; they’re an opportunity to learn and grow.

Remind yourself that the natural arc of progress isn’t an unbroken ascending line but a zigzagged upward spiral. Why? Because success is built on failure. You can’t have one without the other.

The 10 Commandments Of Resilience
Commandments of resilience

4. Thou Shalt Be Drawn Instead Of Driven.

Thou shalt not live on autopilot. When you’re drawn instead of driven, you are the master instead of a slave to your life. You live mindfully from a centered place that puts you in charge of your busy mind so you don’t succumb to external or internal pressures.

You’re attuned to yourself and your surroundings in a calm, non-judgmental way and focus on what’s happening right now. Anchored in the present moment, an inner barometer guides you in a peaceful observing awareness of everything you do.

Thou shalt find that place within thyself where you are drawn. Cultivating mindful productivity—instead of an intense focus on the completion of the task—enriches your life. Five minutes a day in which you still your busy mind and center on the quiet places inside sets the compass of your heart so you can be drawn, even in times of upheaval.

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Bryan E. Robinson, Ph.D

Bryan E. Robinson, Ph.D., is a journalist, author, psychotherapist, and Professor Emeritus at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. He has authored 42 books including his latest, #Chill: Turn Off Your Job And Turn On Your Life (William Morrow, 2019) and Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians who Treat Them (New York University Press, 2014), and Daily Writing Resilience (Llewellyn Worldwide, 2018). He is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a licensed mental health clinician. He maintains a private clinical practice in Asheville, NC, and writes for Forbes, Psychology Today, and Thrive Global. You can reach him at Author posts