5 Ways To Be Yourself In A New Relationship And Make It Last


, , ,
Ways To Be Yourself New Relationship

It can be tempting to hide your true self to impress your new partner. But to be yourself in a new relationship is the best way to a healthy and lasting relationship. Here are five ways to achieve that.

I find it very strange how hard it is to be yourself in a new relationship. After all, we are ourselves in every other area of our lives. Why do we struggle to be ourselves as the relationship progresses?

I believe that, when we first get into a new relationship, we feel very confident because having someone new in our lives, someone who thinks we are fabulous, is a very heady experience.

5 Ways To Be Yourself In A New Relationship And Make It Last
How To Not Lose Yourself In A Relationship? 5 Ways Of Being Yourself In A Relationship

And yet, as we become attached to someone, feelings of insecurity can arise because with attachment comes the fear of loss. And the way we act because of that fear of loss can hijack many a new love affair.

Who wants that? Surely not you!

Related: 9 Tips To Practice Healthy Love In Relationships

So, how can you be yourself in a new relationship, so you can keep it healthy? Read on!

How To Be Yourself In A New Relationship?

1. Stay in touch with your awesomeness.

Think about the person you are when you are single. When you aren’t questioning your self-worth because of some guy. Who is that person?

Do you have a job that you love and that you are good at? Do you run marathons? Do you have a few great friends who you love to spend time with? Do you like to go to movies and try new food? Do you have a dog that thinks you are God’s gift to the world?

This person is the person you want to remember when you are feeling insecure.

And remember, this awesome person is the person who your guy chose to date in the first place. You with all of your confidence and quirks and wonderfulness. Think about what will happen if you are anything other that yourself as the relationship grows.

be yourself in a new relationship
How To Be Your True Self In A Relationship? 5 Ways To Be Yourself In A Relationship

Most likely, your new man will get confused and wonder where the person he fell for is. He might even break up with you as a result of your change.

Also, remember you are so awesome that more than just one guy out there wants to date you. So, if this one doesn’t appreciate you as you are, too bad for him.

2. Don’t stop living your own life.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT sit around and wait for any man to call. Or any woman for that matter either. Time spent sitting around waiting for your life to start is time wasted.

You have a life to live, so live it. Do your work and do it well. Go to yoga, eat out with friends, walk your dog. Do all of the things that make you feel good about yourself and do them often.

No man wants the pressure of being everything to a woman. Of their woman staying home waiting for them to call. To have them twist themselves in a pretzel to be what they want. To give up their own passions for him. That woman is one who is not very attractive to a man.

Furthermore, every man loves the hunt and if you are out there, not always available to him, being a challenge, he is way more likely to stay interested in you.

I have a client who literally sits by her phone, waiting for her man to call or reach out to her on Instagram. She watches his activity and feels dejected when he is active but not in contact with her. So she obsesses, checking her phone instead of going out with friends, waiting for him to reach out.

When he finally does, she is really crabby and their time together isn’t what she wants it to be.

So, continue to live your own life. Don’t always be there for him.  You will be glad you did.

Related: How To Choose Yourself? 30 Things To Start Doing For Yourself

3. Unplug.

One of the things that you should NOT do to keep yourself busy is spend time on social media. As I said above, becoming obsessed with someone’s social media activity is dangerous.

Even on a good day social media can lead us down the road to despair. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), the fear that the rest of the world is going on around you as you just sit there, on your phone, is a real thing in this modern day. Time spent watching how other people are living instead of living yourself is always time wasted.

My client above becomes so obsessed with her man’s Instagram activity that it makes her physically ill. And, she posts more actively than she used to, wanting him to see her posts and to think of her. And when he doesn’t look at them, she is devastated.

Of course, we all spend too much time on our phones. Do you? I am not saying that you should put down your phone but I am saying that the effort needs to be made to not change our habits, to not become a stalker, to stay in touch with friends and check on celebrities like we always have.

So again, go live your life. Don’t sit around and see what someone else’s life looks like.

4. Know he is probably feeling the same way.

The more attached we are to something, whether it be a man or a friend or a coat, the more we fear losing it. And fear of losing something can cause us to act in ways that might seem foreign. That super self-confident woman you usually are might get replaced with the shy 8th grader you used to be. Not ideal.

But do know that while you may be feeling insecure at the prospect of losing this new person in your life, they might very well be feeling the same way too. They might feel like if they text you they could appear too eager or, if they stop by your desk. you might find them too needy.

And, does that behavior make you feel bad about him, or is it somewhat endearing. Does knowing that he might be feeling as insecure as you are, that you are in the same boat trying to make this relationship work, make you feel more confident?

Try to not judge yourself for struggling to be yourself in a relationship. Instead, make change and you will feel better about yourself and your place in the relationship.

Related: How To Build Your Belief In Yourself

5. Ask yourself – “What’s the worst that can happen?”

This is a question that can be applied to a variety of life situations but its best application is right here.

You are in a new relationship, one that is days or weeks old. One that you have lived your entire life up until recently without.

Ask yourself “What is the worst that can happen?”

be yourself in a new relationship
How To Be Myself In A Relationship? 5 Ways To Being Yourself In A New Relationship

The answer? That you will lose this relationship. So what? There are more fish in the sea. That you will embarrass yourself? You have done that before and survived. That you will actually have a great conversation and maybe another date? Well, that wouldn’t suck.

Keep in mind that the worst that can happen isn’t that you will drop dead if you send a text or that you will end world peace if you ask him to dance. And, with that in mind, take a step confidently in his direction. Being the rock star that you are.

Because really, what’s the worst that can happen?

Related: 12 Signs You Are Losing Yourself In Your Relationship

I know that you want to be yourself in a new relationship. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this article.

We all want to love and be loved. This we all know to be true (although sometimes we are loathe to admit it). And in the pursuit of love we often find ourselves losing ourselves in our attempt to please others.

But don’t let yourself go. Remind yourself every day how amazing you are, that anyone would be lucky to have you, that if this relationship doesn’t work out there will be another (because there will be), and that the world won’t end no matter what action you take.

Remember, not being yourself isn’t sustainable. Not being yourself will only make you feel more insecure in the relationship. Not being yourself just might sabotage what you want and then you will be left devastated.

Be the person that someone wants to fall in love with. Be the person who you can be in love with too.

You can do it!

Related: 8 Ways We Sabotage Love In Our Relationships

Written By: Mitzi Bockmann
Originally Appeared On: Let Your Dreams Begin

Ways To Be Yourself New Relationship pin
5 Ways To Be Yourself In A New Relationship And Make It Last

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Zodiac Traits: Identifying The Unique Characteristics Of The 12 Signs

Zodiac Traits: Particular Features of the Signs

Zodiac signs are rooted in ancient astrology and offer a fascinating glimpse into personality and characteristics of people. From Aries to Pisces, each carries its own unique zodiac traits, influencing how they think, feel, and interact with the world. Do you want to find out what your zodiac sign is like? Let’s go!

These features revolve around different personality traits, emotional inclinations as well as social behavior depending on the stars. They give a clue to who is who and how they relate with each other!

Find your zodiac traits below!

Related: Zodiac Lucky Charm: Unlocking Destiny With The Power of Your Lucky Charm

Up Next

The Faces Of Fury: 5 Different Types of Anger

The Faces Of Fury: Different Types of Anger

Everyone feels anger at some point, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling angry, you know. However, there are different types of anger, and some of those types are not healthy. While some of these types of rage can feel annoying, some are straight out dangerous. Let’s explore the different styles of anger and what they mean.


When we think of anger we often think of raised voices and aggressive behaviour. There are however different styles of anger, therefore different ways in which we experience and communicate our anger.

If we don’t understand our anger or communicate and deal with it appropriately we will either explode or implode. Neither can be good for us or our relationships. Here are some different types of anger.

Up Next

7 Surprising Facts About Boredom: Learn The Science Of Ennui

Fascinating Facts About Boredom That You Must Know

Do you ever feel like you’re never able to sit still? Boredom may seem like a simple inconvenience, but many surprising facts about boredom might change how you view those periods of listlessness.

The Science Behind Being Bored

Ennui means boredom in French, and it involves complex neural processes. Research has shown that it activates brain regions associated with self-control and planning for the future.

If you find yourself feeling bored quite often, then, without further ado, let’s learn about the facts about being bored.


Up Next

4 Secrets Of Nonverbal Eye Contact

Secrets Of Nonverbal Eye Contact

When it comes to body language cues, nonverbal eye contact is as crucial as facial expressions and body movements. This article is going to talk about the secrets and importance of nonverbal eye contact.


Research on nonverbal communication shows the eyes are a complex and important communication channel.

Our eyes play an important part in communicating emotions through facial expressions.

The eyes may indicate sexual interest and the depth of love and attraction.

When we think of body language — nonverbal communication — we immediately focus on facial e

Up Next

How to Read Someone’s ‘Digital Body Language’ and Improve Your Dating Game

How To Read Digital Body Language? Important Things

Gone are the days when catching someone’s eye across the room, or brushing someone’s arm, were the main ways of communicating interest and feelings. Now dating is online, and digital body language (DBL) is becoming important when it comes to connecting with potential partners.

In this article, we will explain the importance and how to read digital body language. Are you ready to get into the world of online dating and relationships? Let’s go!

What is digital body language?

All physical behaviors which express thoughts, intentions, and feelings are called body language. This includes facial expressions, gestures, eye movement, touch, even body posture.

Similarly the te

Up Next

How To Be Your Best Self: 4 Hacks To Set Effective Self Development Goals That Actually Work

Hacks To Set Effective Self Development Goals

The hardest battle you’ll ever face is the one between your current and future self. To become a better person, you have to get rid of your inner weaknesses. The best way to do this is to set self development goals for yourself.

It’s a little hard to see the path to self-improvement milestones. It’s not as simple as waking up one day and being a better person.

It takes time and reflection, and a lot of people need help to get started. If you’re looking for a sign to start your self-improvement journey, this is it! It’s never too late, so let’s explore together!

Understanding Self Development Goals

Up Next

9 Signs You Are A Good Person — Even If You Don’t Feel Like One

Clear Signs You Are A Good Person

Being a good person isn’t always about being perfect; its about making the right decisions. Do you think you’re actually nice as you claim? Below are 9 signs you are a good person!

Psychology has thoroughly investigated the identifying key traits that genuinely good people seem to have. So, I’m going to provide some of the signs that will let you know you’re not as bad as you think.