Anger Management 101 And Beyond

 / 

,
anger management

Anger is such a heated emotion that can drive anyone to do some crazy things. While we all have anger, everyone expresses this emotion differently. You feel that you’re denying your emotions or you’re being somehow contained, and this leads you to act out in other ways. Anger management techniques can improve outcomes in these situations and help you improve your quality of life.

Anger, just like many other emotions, is only difficult because nobody taught us how it works and how to deal with it. In this article, you are going to learn the basics and this will not only be about anger management, today we go beyond.

Containing a fire is like classic anger management. Learning to extinguish that fire is, on the other hand, the ultimate aim of my Anger Management program. Read on to learn it yourself.

Anger doesn’t have to be a chronic problem, and while many learn to just manage it you can learn to drop it completely off your life. Not suppression, that would be useless, we’re going beyond anger management, a true bye-bye to anger and rage in your life.

Now, the key here is knowing exactly what you really want. Just like it happens with alcoholism, it will not be until you are completely determined to abandon rage forever that you will start living without anger and the impact this has on your life.

Let’s get started.

First, you need to understand that the real problem is not anger itself nor the way you express it, but the fact that you hold on to it. Your attachment to anger is the true problem, in some cases going as far as being an addiction. Nothing you cannot overcome, but similar to craving sweets for example.

Related: Anger Management: 4 Tips To Help You Manage Your Anger

This is especially difficult to observe when enraged and that’s why you must learn about your anger when not under its influence. This way you will be prepared, stop being reactive (your automatic programming) and start doing the things that will lead you to a happier life.

One last thing, though: If you believe you have no power over your anger or that you are incapable of changing, this is not the place for you.

First of all, understand that anger and rage are a burden, a burden which you decide to take on yourself. Think of it as a heavy, heavy load that suddenly is placed on your shoulders, where you decide to accept it.

Think about this for a moment, you can recognize this by thinking about your past experiences, the times when you’ve been angry. Unless you have already decided that you don’t want anger in your life, you can clearly see the mechanics of anger whenever someone (even yourself) tries to make you drop that rage.

You immediately start validating it. Immediately after the failed attempt of dropping it, you will start making excuses. You will start giving answers like: “It was them who started”, “This dumb thing is making me angry”, “I am mad because this happened”.

All of the reasons. They are reasons you give yourself to take on that heavy burden. And guess what happens next? Like any emotion, it holds a charge, a charge that must be dealt with.

The energetic charge that emotions hold is rarely ever static, it is dynamic and it pushes you from the inside.

Just as sadness urges you to cry or fear makes you want to run, anger and rage make you do things. Depending on your specific situation, those acts can be screaming, punching the wall, throwing stuff (or a tantrum), storming out of the room… you name it.

That’s the mechanics of anger, it makes you want to release it. It makes you want to drop, in some way, the burden you decided to take on your shoulders. Why?

Because you validated it in the first place!

If someone cuts you off you will proceed to get mad, tense your body, honk at the car now in front of you, yell at the driver, maybe flip him/her, and all sorts of stuff… all because?

Who cares, you can mention a thousand reasons anything from “stupid people” to “he put me at risk by doing that”.

The point is still the same: You are validating your anger and your ensuing behavior, you give yourself permission to accept the burden and with that acceptance, you also carry the obligation of releasing any energy it may carry with it.

The First Step Is To Break The Bond

My anger management is simpler than you think. The first step is to break the bond. Give your anger no validation.

If you really want to get over this, give your anger no validation because no matter what happens on the outside you have taken the decision not to accept anger. You already know all the reasons why you could accept it, but your decision is not to do it.

Related: How You Can Manage Your Anger And Never Let It Control You

Do you see how renouncing anger is crucial if you want to make any progress? Unless you truly say NO to anger and reject it you will keep validating it. But if what you truly want is peace of mind and stability then that desire will prevail and anger will have nowhere to grip you from.

Now, it’s understandable if this change is not immediate, it takes time and practice. But to help you take the first steps here is an affirmation that will keep you on track.

Whenever you feel like anger is trying to get to you, say:

“I release this anger, I choose not to take it. I choose to be a strong and stable person instead.”

Let’s make it clear: Anger cannot take place unless you decide you want it. Become responsible of your response to the situations in your life.

Whatever happens, keep in mind that your main goal is to drop the anger and stop validating it. Accept things with a shrug of shoulders and say to yourself: “Hey, whatever, that anger is something I won’t hold on to”

This is more than anger management, it is banishing anger from your life.

This doesn’t mean you should allow bad things to happen to you or others, but instead, you are just taking away the anger element, which just harms and blinds you. Act depending on your situation but leave anger to dissolve on its own. Anger needs someone to exist, if you reject it then it will be like there is no one there to “accept the package”.

If the waiter is not paying attention just assertively make sure he does. If someone cuts you off stay away from someone who doesn’t know how to drive (or probably is having an emergency). If someone is disrespectful to you, state it, and change the situation. If your S.O. doesn’t understand you, take the time to explain.

Do you see how anger is not needed for anything to work as it should? Action is necessary, not the emotion and our unhealthy release.

Until you break the bond you will observe that first, by rejecting anger, the influence it has over you will be greatly diminished. This is why I decided to revamp anger management so that you see results in your life fast.

Now, it will be normal if you still feel enraged and it is necessary to release that anger in a healthy form. Resolve to do no harm and to release only in ways that do not affect you or others.

You won’t have to feel like this forever, only until you break the attachment to anger.

Dare to go against your ego, because your ego is what provides validation to anger. If you dare to challenge the reasons it gives you and accept the things that contradict you with a detached attitude you will be taking great steps towards your happiness.

What is it that you care for most? Your health, happiness, and growth? Or your reason to be angry? The choice is yours, make no mistake. Be responsible. Whenever you get mad is because you want it that way.

With time you will stop being reactive and you will be able to solve situations instead of resorting to anger. As I mentioned above you will clearly see how this dependence on anger is like an addiction. Check out this meditation to learn the mechanics of thought and your mind.

Quite often we just wait for the slightest provocation to resort to anger. Anything that we can adapt to a reason for us to be mad (validation of anger) is used as justification to feel and behave enraged.

When anger or rage is allowed to drive our behavior we can have some pretty nasty consequences. People who don’t know how to deal with anger become aggressive or even violent and this has serious consequences both for the individual and the ones around them.

Related: How To Understand, Heal And Release Your Anger

This is why Emotional Education (and specifically anger management in this case) is absolutely essential to life in the 21st century. Good news, by reading this you just started! 

When we act driven by rage or anger we are literally acting under the influence of it. Just as it would happen with DUIs this means that we are not exactly ourselves and that we surrender a little bit of control over ourselves to anger.

The road to being free from anger is easier than you think, you just need to follow through. If you use the affirmation given above and start being responsible for your response, you will be free from the unhealthy attachment to anger in very little time.

If you believe this will be helpful to others or if it helps you, don’t forget to share and like. Thanks for reading!


Written By George Alonso
Originally Appeared In George Alonso
Anger Management Beyond pin
Anger Management 101 And Beyond
anger management pin
Anger Management 101 And Beyond

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

9 Keys To Healing From Adverse Childhood Experiences

Keys To Healing From Adverse Childhood Experiences

Healing from adverse childhood experiences can feel like an overwhelming journey, but it’s entirely possible with the right guidance. These 9 strategies can help you navigate the path towards recovery and reclaim your sense of well-being. Let’s explore these essential steps together.

KEY POINTS

New therapeutic strategies facilitate the healing of hidden wounds from adverse childhood experiences.

In addition, rich attitudinal strengths greatly facilitate the healing journey.

Nine key healing attitudes are described.

This post is part of a series on adverse childhoo



Up Next

7 Surprising Facts About Boredom: Learn The Science Of Ennui

Fascinating Facts About Boredom That You Must Know

Do you ever feel like you’re never able to sit still? Boredom may seem like a simple inconvenience, but many surprising facts about boredom might change how you view those periods of listlessness.

The Science Behind Being Bored

Ennui means boredom in French, and it involves complex neural processes. Research has shown that it activates brain regions associated with self-control and planning for the future.

If you find yourself feeling bored quite often, then, without further ado, let’s learn about the facts about being bored.

Related:



Up Next

Emotional Hijacking: What It Means And How To Overcome It

Emotional Hijacking: What It Means And How To Overcome It

Have you ever heard of the term emotional hijacking? Well, today we are going to talk about what it means and define emotional hijacking, so that it’s easier for you to understand, in case this happens to you.

Emotional hijacking is the term used for what happens when someone’s ability to think rationally becomes overpowered by their emotions. It is most commonly experienced when people lash out aggressively or become intensely fearful.

It is an intense emotional outburst triggered by what could even be innocent or innocuous.

Emotional hijacking isn’t something that just happens spontaneously. It is usually past events and experiences that an individual finds disturbing that keeps being internalized.

If that person keeps facing tho



Up Next

5 Ways Biodiversity Affects Mental Health: Nature’s Therapy!

How Biodiversity Affects Mental Health? Interesting Ways

Did you know that a rich ecosystem can be not only good for your health but your mind as well? Let us understand how biodiversity affects mental health so that you have a healthy mind, body, and, soul!

Close your eyes and visualize yourself walking through a green field. Next, think about being in an area where birds are chirping, rivers are rushing and waterfalls are falling. You see colorful flowers and breathtaking beauty, which leads you to wonder about the amazing plants and animals around you.

Which scenario makes you feel more calm? The initial one is serene but the latter fills you with awe, optimism, delight, and interest.

This next scenario demonstrates how biodiversity affects mental health. Different forms of life maintain not only the equilibrium of the earth but als



Up Next

7 Signs You Might Have A Toxic Relationship With Yourself

Signs You Might Have A Toxic Relationship With Yourself

Ever feel like your worst enemy is staring back at you in the mirror? Having a toxic relationship with yourself is more common than you think, and it’s like carrying around an invisible bully who constantly puts you down.

If you have ever caught yourself thinking “Why am I like this?”, or “I can’t do anything right!”, you might be in a toxic self-relationship. Understanding and recognizing the signs you have a toxic relationship with yourself is the very first step to breaking free and treating yourself with the kindness you deserve.

Let’s dive into seven telltale signs that you might be your own worst enemy – and how to turn things around.

Related:



Up Next

Toxic Positivity Vs Genuine Optimism: 3 notable examples 

Toxic Positivity Vs Genuine Optimism: notable examples

To keep your hopes high in this competitive world is not easy. To be hopeful in all situations without dreading “what might come next?” is a rare positive mindset I lack. I started digging deep into the topic of toxic positivity vs genuine optimism through my phase of acceptance and denials.

But I often feel pressurized by narratives like “Be happy no matter what.” There are situations where I cannot apply: ” When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade.” 

Moreover, it is more pressurizing to try and identify positive points in such situations. Failing to do so sometimes results in rumination, which is detrimental to mental health.

While searching for how to approach a situation and wondering why I cannot think positively in a situation, it took me closer to the difference between tox



Up Next

7 Shocking Facts About Mental Health That Will Surprise You

Mind-Blowing Facts About Mental Health You Never Knew

Do you ever feel like you have a pretty good handle on mental health, only to come across a fact that completely challenges your understanding? Have you ever wondered about the lesser known facts about mental health?

Mental health is a topic that is becoming more openly discussed, which is fantastic for mental health awareness. However, there are still many persistent myths and misconceptions that need to be addressed. That’s why I’m excited to share 7 lesser known facts about mental health that may just surprise you.

From the myths about anxiety and depression to the universal impact of mental health conditions, get ready to have your perceptions shifted. Mental health is a vast and fascinating topic, and there is always more for us to learn.

So if you’re ready to challe